Mobius Loop
by WordKrush
Summary: It's been thirteen years since Jane Shepard and Liara T'Soni met on Arcturus Station. Liara remains unchanged, but Jane's dreams of a lustrous Alliance career have been tarnished by loss, self doubt, and guilt. Liara must find a way to help Jane reconcile the difference between who she was and who she is. A CONTINUATION OF INTERSECTING LINES & TANGENTS
1. Chapter 1

Mobius Loop

Thirteen years have passed since young Jane Shepard and Liara T'Soni parted on Arcturus Station. Like the relics she studies, Liara remains unchanged by the passed time, but the luster of Jane's hopes for her Alliance career has been tarnished by loss, self doubt, and guilt. Liara must find a way to help Jane reconcile the difference between who she was and who she is. A continuation of Intersecting Lines and Tangents

**** The first chapter of this story is Intersecting Lines and Tangents. I included it here so new readers wouldn't have to exit out and find it. (It's kind of necessary reading) Anyone interested in just the new content, jump ahead to chapter two. *****

Author's Note:

I wrote Intersecting Lines and Tangents, the story of young Jane Shepard and Liara T'Soni, almost five months ago. Of the stories I've written to date, it's easily my favorite, full of squishy feelings and fluff. It was fun to write and I've been humbled and pleased that many have also found it fun to read. Afterward, I got a lot of requests to continue the story and though I never intended to, I have. This pair won't leave me alone! : )

As I started writing what I had fully intended to be another piece of gooey goodness, I was forced to slam on the brakes. It felt…wrong. Jane is not a fresh-faced kid anymore. We know when we meet Shepard in game, she's got some emotional baggage that colors her perceptions and actions, and the game leaves it to us to decide exactly what that baggage contains. So my spacer Shepard has been through some 'stuff' by the time she reaches Therum. I couldn't decide what sort of stuff, though…hero, survivor, butcher. So I made her all three (entirely plausible per the time line). I wanted to see what would happen when you take an unchanged asari, and pair her with a Jane who has been scarred by her service to the Alliance in more ways than one.

Because I wanted to focus on relationships in this particular story, you'll find there isn't a great deal of focus on mission critical content. I hit the high notes out of necessity, but I tried to stick to aspects of the central mission that told more about the characters than the actual mission itself.

My personal goals in writing this were pretty simple: stick to a novel length work and hone character development and overall theme. I hope you enjoy it!

WordKrush

* * *

Jane Shepard shoved her hands deep into the pockets of her hoody, hunched her shoulders forward, and peered up at the entrance to Arcturus Academy through shaggy bangs. She stood alone as the voices of other students, some laughing, others chatting as they milled around her filtered through the comforting warmth of her hood. Without even looking, she knew they were clustered together in groups, or pairs, talking about homework or exams, the latest bit of gossip, or boyfriends and girlfriends. The same stuff she used to do with her friends before she and her mom had relocated…_again._

"Out of the way, newb!"

She stumbled sideways as a herd of boys shoved past. Gritting her teeth and glaring, she clenched her fists in her pockets, but made no move to retaliate. She had been through through this more times than she could count and knew better than to react. She was the new kid, the stranger. Starting trouble now would only make settling in more difficult and that was the last thing she needed. Instead, her gaze followed the group across the campus quad to a huddle of students vying for access to a flashing monitor hanging by the main doors.

Her curiosity piqued, she followed behind, keeping her eyes on the scuffed toes of her sneakers to avoid making eye contact with anyone. Reed thin, she twisted sideways, and elbowed her way into the group until she could see what had attracted everyone's attention. The daily schedule floated across a large screen, along with the lunch menu. Nothing interesting there, _that _was for sure. At the bottom, however, lay the source of the excitement. In flashing navy and white letters an announcement scrolled across the screen; a student dance would be held following that weekend's skyball game between the Arcturus Angels and the D-Wing Destroyers.

"Hey Miko, wanna go to the dance with me?"

The invitation came from Jane's left, where a wiry teen attempted a rakish smile and ran trembling fingers through his hair. Behind him stood three other boys, eyes sparkling as they fought to keep from smiling. She followed the direction of the boys' gaze to her right, where a pretty brunette blushed crimson and fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. Feeling like an intruder, Jane slowly backed away and faded out of the group. A few moments later a chorus of whoops and backslapping could be heard ringing across the quad just before the morning bell. It seemed Miko had accepted the invitation.

Jane sighed as the other students began filing into the door. She didn't belong here. She was a spacer. She belonged in space, not at some trumped up Alliance boarding school. Sparing one final glance at the retreating backs of the other students she pivoted on her heel, and headed in the opposite direction.

Liara T'Soni's eyes followed the pacing figure of her mother and she fought the urge to retreat to the narrow, but goddess blessedly silent, confines of her room. The Matriarch was currently lecturing her on the proper protocols for greeting humans while Liara half-listened and half day dreamed of her next archeological venture.

"…and they will inevitably extend their hand toward you. If that happens, you should take the offered hand in yours, not too firmly, and allow them to..." Benezia paused. "Liara, are you listening to a word I am saying?"

"Yes, mother, of course, though I really do not understand the purpose of this. We are only going to be on Arcturus station for a day at most; I do not even need to leave the ship. Besides, I have several research papers I need to finalize before they can be submitted."

Benezia crossed the room and gently stroked Liara's cheek. "I know you chafe at the thought, Little Wing, but like it or not, you are more than a scientist, you are a Matriarch's daughter. Your responsibilities extend beyond the scientific community, dear. It would appear rude for me to leave you on board."

Liara brushed away her mother's hand as she rose from the low sofa. "Mother, no one even knows I am with you; it would not be rude at all." She was beginning to wonder if her mother would ever stop pressuring her to follow in her footsteps. She had no desire to surround herself with foreign dignitaries as Benezia did. She simply wanted to be alone with her studies. The only reason she had agreed to accompany her mother to Arcturus station was because they had spent so little time together over the past several years and because Benezia agreed to escort her to her next dig site. It was an unprecedented offer, and Liara couldn't refuse. Benezia's true motives were now coming into focus, however. She wanted Liara to accompany her to meet with the human prime minister and his cabinet of officials. It was not going to happen.

The truth of the matter was, Liara was more than a little terrified of humans. As far as she was concerned, the similarities between asari and human ended with their physiology. Culturally, they were as different as elcor and with her limited experience, equally difficult to read. Liara knew more about the long dead protheans than she did humans. Though she did find their hair very fascinating.

"_I _know you are here, and that is enough for me." Benezia clenched her eyes closed, as if willing herself to be patient. When she opened them again her voice was calm, the voice of a diplomat. "Very well. You only need to be present for brief introductions to the human representatives. Afterward, you may return to the ship and bury yourself in the prothean data you so love. You may, however, wish to stop by the markets to purchase supplies before we depart."

"Oh! I was not aware Arcturus would have the materials or equipment I need."

"Yes, they likely will. Humans may be new to the galactic community, Liara, but they are an innovative and interesting species. You really should try to get out a bit."

Liara mentally checked her supply list. If she could get equipment here, it would save them another stop and she could get to the dig site faster. She turned to Benezia. "Very well, mother. I will accompany you to the initial greeting and depart for the market…but _only_ for the initial greeting."

Lost in thought, Jane stood with her face pressed against the cool glass of the central space port viewing deck and watched ships arrive and depart. From her current vantage point, the landing bay lights shone so brightly they obscured the distant stars. Her mom was out there somewhere, on the SSV Einstein while she was stuck on the station with no friends and nothing to do. School, she decided, did not count.

She chafed at the unfairness of it. Before being reassigned, Hannah Shepard had served aboard the Benjamin Davis for three years. It was her mom's longest assignment to date, and for the first time, Jane had actually been in one spot long enough to make real friends. She hadn't been looking for the connections; as a spacer kid she was often alone, though rarely lonely. To her surprise,she found she enjoyed the company of the other kids on the carrier, and she slowly grew to feel like she belonged with the motley lot. Despite her foul mood, she felt the corners of her mouth tug upward as she thought of her best friend Jakob. Thanks to his love of practical jokes they had gotten into trouble together too many times to count. Granted, nine times out of ten, he was the instigator, but she would never let him take the blame on his own. Then there was Elise. She had been a great friend as well; almost more. But then her mom got reassigned and ruined it.

Now her mom was on the Einstein and she was on Arcturus station attending boarding school until the slavers in the Einstein's assigned sector were dealt with. Not that it would matter. The teens on the Einstein would be as new to her as those at Arcturus Academy. Her real friends were still on the Ben Davis.

She glanced at her chrono. She was required to report in to the dorm officer morning and evening and she had hours yet before she needed to contact Lieutenant Davies for check in. Frustrated she pressed her palms against the glass. She desperately needed a distraction.

What would Jacob do if he had hours of boredom to kill?_ Something hair brained and completely inappropriate, knowing him._ She laughed out loud then felt her cheeks burn as a passing woman gave her an odd look. Embarrassed, Jane returned to studying the docking bay.

Her attention was immediately drawn to a new ship slowly approaching the dock. From it's streamlined and elegant design, she could tell immediately it was an asari vessel and she was instantly intrigued. She had seen asari frigates before, but she had never met an asari. Having spent most of her life aboard Alliance vessels or at Alliance facilities, the opportunity had never presented itself. In fact, in all her sixteen years she had met few aliens. She wouldn't go so far as to say Hannah Shepard was xenophobic, but she was definitely overprotective when it came to encountering new cultures.

A slow smile crept across her face as she quickly formulated a plan guaranteed to alleviate her boredom. She waited until the ship drew close enough that she could tell in which bay it would dock, and retreated to the privacy of a nearby cafe restroom.

After checking the lavatory stalls to make certain she was alone, she activated her omnitool. Her omni-tool was her pride and joy. She had upgraded it to perfection, adding to and tweaking its functionality until it was on par with all but the most advanced military grade tools. If her mom had any idea how much she had modified the tool, she would probably be grounded for life.

The most recent upgrade, which Jacob had 'acquired' for her as a going away gift, was a modified tactical cloak. She never asked how he got the mod; she was too thrilled to care. Unfortunately, unlike standard tactical cloaks, hers did not render her invisible to technology but was limited to visual cloaking only. During her trip to Arcturus she had played with the power modulators until she managed to set up a phasic energy loop. So long as no one was aware of her presence beforehand, she could remain undetectable indefinitely, unless a tech scan revealed her.

She grinned at her hooded reflection, activated her cloak, and grinned widely as her reflection disappeared. Pivoting on her heel, she quietly exited the restroom and headed for the docking bay. Yep, even Jakob would be impressed by _this _plan. She was going to infiltrate an Asari cruiser.

Liara inhaled deeply as she stepped out of the airlock and onto the drab concrete floor of the dock. The recycled air carried scents she did not recognize, not unpleasant, but distinctly foreign. Liara's spirits lifted; she decided she would approach this experience in the same manner she approached her study of the protheans. She would observe and collect information, study and learn. Four hardened asari commandos stood flanking either side of the door. Liara frowned. If they served as her escorts, her data would be skewed.

"Don't scowl, Little Wing. It is very unattractive." In her floor length fitted dress, Benezia looked every inch the Matriarch. Liara had opted for a more comfortable long tunic and leggings.

Despite her irritation, Liara relaxed. "Are the commandos really necessary, mother? You cannot possibly expect any sort of trouble."

Benezia's brow arched. "I had thought you would want an escort to the markets."

For a moment she was tempted, but she lifted her chin with resolve. Her fear was ridiculous. She had spent months on dig sites all alone, occasionally fending off pirates or mercenaries when she had to; Arcturus station was a bastion of safety comparatively. "No, quite the opposite. I can handle myself."

"As you wish." Benezia turned to the commandos with a wave. "Remain here with the ship, please."

The commando nodded wordlessly and resumed her pose of watchful waiting.

Liara's heart beat with excitement at the prospect of experiencing a new culture. "We should go."

Far down the corridor, standing in the center of the hallway, Jane scowled. She couldn't quite hear the what the asari who had stepped off the ship were saying, but the dismissive gesture from the taller one was unmistakable. The commandos, she was certain judging by their gear they were commandos, were going to remain stationed at the ship's entrance. Her goal suddenly got a lot more difficult, if not impossible.

She cautiously moved forward to better see the pair of asari standing by the hatch. The older one looked important. She had a regal air that commanded attention and respect whereas the younger asari looked to be close to Jane's own age. Jane watched in fascination as the asari's eyes flitted around the docking bay hub, seeming to analyze and file everything she saw. Silently, Jane continued to creep forward to get a better look at the them. She froze when the younger asari lifted her arm and pointed directly at her.

Jane quickly looked down at her arms and legs; she was still cloaked. There was no way the asari could see her. The shuffling sound of feet behind her caused her to whip around. At least a dozen officers in crisp navy dress uniforms surrounding a slim gentleman in a well tailored suit walked toward her.

_Shit! _She had been been so wrapped up in studying the asari she had wandered too far up the corridor. Now she was trapped between the two groups with nowhere to hide. Heart racing, she backed up and pressed herself as far against the side wall of the corridor as she could and forced her breathing to slow. Looking from left to right, she willed the asari to move faster, to hurry past. Of course they didn't. Trembling against the wall, she squeezed her eyes shut and prayed for a hole in the wall to open up and swallow her as the two parties converged less than ten feet away and directly in front of her.

"Matriarch Benezia, it is a rare pleasure to meet you. Welcome to Arcturus station."

"The pleasure is mine, Prime Minister."

Jane's eyes flew open. _Prime Minister? Holy shit! _Jane had no interest in politics, or politicians, but she had to admit, seeing the Prime Minister was pretty cool. He was a tall narrow man with warm brown eyes and dark skin. The matriarch was tall, but he towered over her by a full head. He leaned to the side, peering down toward the Matriarch's companion. "And who is this?"

Benezia stepped aside and Liara stepped forward, eyes wide and hand extended.

"This is my daughter, Liara T'Soni."

"_Doctor _Liara T'Soni." Liara corrected as the prime minister's brown hands engulfed her dainty blue one and he pumped her arm up and down enthusiastically. His hands were warm against her skin, but she wondered for how much longer he planned to tug on her arm. If all humans greeted others this way, it was a miracle they did not require ceramic grafting to strengthen their shoulder joints. Also, he used both of his hands. Her mother had not mentioned this as a possibility. Should she offer her other hand as well? Fortunately the prime minister freed her hand before she was forced to make a decision.

"Ah, you are a physician, then?"

"No, prime minister, I am an archeologist; I study ancient civilizations. My doctorate is in prothean studies."

The prime ministers brows arched up skeptically. "Fascinating." His tone implied it was anything but and he turned his attention back to Benezia. "Shall we proceed to my offices, Matriarch?"

As her mother and the prime minister continued to talk, Liara was suddenly very glad she had held her ground about not attending the meetings. She stepped aside and a prickling sensation settled over her skin. She turned to the wall, half expecting to see someone standing there. but the space was empty.

Frozen in place, Jane held her breath. _She can't see me…she can't see me. _But Jane could see her, and she was unable to stop herself from openly staring at the young doctor. She was stunning. Freckles dotted her nose and cheeks, and her eyes, currently resting under puzzled brows, were the deepest blue Jane had ever seen. _How can she be a doctor of anything? She doesn't look any older than twenty…tops! _Liara…she liked the way her name sounded as it rolled through her head. Jane suddenly understood the cultural grace and beauty the asari were known for; Liara embodied the traits perfectly.

"Liara?"

Liara turned away from her study of the wall. "Yes, mother?"

"I will see you on board, later?"

"Of course" She turned to the prime minister, making sure to place her hands safely behind her back and out of reach. "It was a pleasure meeting you, sir."

He nodded vaguely in her direction before the entourage turned and headed back down the corridor. Once again, Liara turned and faced the wall before shaking her head and following in their wake.

Jane released the pent up breath she had been holding and bent over, placing her hands against her knees. That had been _way _too close for comfort. Pushing herself upright, she struggled with indecision. Sneak past the commandos and onto the ship, or follow the intriguing _Doctor _Liara T'Soni? She looked left then right again. Scary commandos or beautiful asari? Her eyes followed the gentle sway of asari hips as Liara turned the corner. _Beautiful asari, it is! _Smiling to herself, Jane jogged to catch up with Liara.

Liara had to admit, the giant ring of Arcturus station was not what she expected from the the military and political seat of the Alliance. Rather than the bland concrete and steel structure that she had entered into in the docking bay, the ring of Arcturus was lush with greenery; vibrant, and thriving. The layered offices, businesses, and housing units that lined the internal walls blended into the structure organically. Wide walkways wound down and in until they met arching bridges that spanned a narrow lake. Like the presidium, the lake nestled at the bottom of the ring and extended upward ahead of her as she glanced toward the artificial horizon. Overhead, sunlight filtered down across the trees and lawns from an array of automated mirrors. All in all, the central area of the station gave the impression of entering an enormous park. Liara was thrilled. Maybe, like the station, humans would pleasantly surprise her as well.

Mindful to take note of where she entered from the central hub, she set off down the nearest walkway. Benezia would be in meetings all day, and she felt no need to rush. Rather than walking directly to the markets in the commerce district, she wandered along the meandering paths enjoying the scenery. She drew more than a few surprised looks from passersby, but initial shock inevitably transformed into warm, welcoming smiles and she felt herself relaxing more and more.

Jane quietly followed Liara through the station. She wasn't sure why she chose to remain cloaked; Liara certainly appeared friendly enough and she had always wanted to meet an asari. Yet the longer she tagged along unseen behind her, the more entranced she became with the game. The asari looked at the station as if she was literally absorbing everything her eyes touched. She seemed to find every aspect of the station fascinating and noteworthy. Her eyes lit with discovery and her mouth curved in an endearing smile when she came across something new. The smile transformed Liara's face from beautiful to breathtaking, and made Jane's heart skip inside her chest in telling ways. Besides, what would she say? Jane had no idea how to talk to asari. What if she said something stupid, or made a fool of herself? No, it was definitely better to watch and follow than risk losing the chance to see that radiant smile. Keeping to the shadows and moving soundlessly, she followed on.

Eventually, Liara found herself in the commerce district, noting with appreciation that even here the subdued and natural theme of the station carried over. Rather than the brightly colored flashing holographic signs and advertisements she was accustomed to on the Citadel or Illium, the storefronts were tastefully simple and understated. She scanned the signs for the most likely source of the equipment she would need for her upcoming venture, and approached the store slowly, pausing to peer in through the glass before entering.

Jane could feel apprehension radiating from Liara in waves. It was evident in the tense set of her shoulders and the nervous fidgeting of her hands. Jane eyed the clerk, who was doing his best not to let the asari see that he had noticed her, but there was no mistaking the glint in his eye. He looked at Liara in much the same way a cat looks when it's getting ready to pounce. Jane felt her brow furrow in an invisible scowl, and abruptly dismissed her plans to wait outside the store while Liara shopped.

Liara stared through the glass at a lone human male leaning against the far side of the counter and sipping cautiously from a steaming mug. Suddenly, she wished she had not been so quick to turn down the commando escorts. They undoubtedly had experience dealing with humans she lacked, and the idea of approaching the unknown man made her stomach twist into an elaborate series of knots. Despite this, however, the thought of Benezia's scorn if she went back to the ship to enlist the aid of the commandos was enough to spur her to action. She took a deep breath, smoothed her tunic, and entered the shop, deliberately avoiding the clerk to head straight for the kiosk from which she would make her purchases. If she was lucky, she would not even need to speak to the man at all.

Jane stood protectively behind Liara as the asari's fingers flew across the kiosk's screen, and glared at the man who continued to make sideways glances in Liara's direction. As she suspected, as soon as the screen flashed to confirm shipment, he scooped up his coffee and sauntered over.

"We don't see many asari around here."

The nearby gruff voice yanked Liara's attention from the screen and up to the clerk who had moved to stand directly by the kiosk. She did not know about humans, and as such was loathe to make hasty judgments, but this man seemed to be rather unsavory. She took a quick step back to increase the space between them as he placed his mug on the counter and leaned forward to rest on his elbows.

_Damn! _Jane jumped backwards, nearly falling over to avoid Liara. The clerk's eyes flicked upward in her direction, but seeing nothing, returned to the object of his interest.

"I..I will not be here long." Liara stammered. "I am merely passing through and needed to order supplies."

The clerk eyed her recent order, still displayed on the screen before leering at her. "You sure you know how to use an omni-drill, doll? Most asari I've met tend to have other, um, more exotic areas of expertise. It'd be a shame to see those soft blue hands get all roughed up from manual labor."

Liara silently fumed. Asari might not be common here, but apparently the stereotypes were well known. She wanted to leave this foul man's presence, but she did not want to cause a scene. He was making her distinctly uncomfortable, and she still had the prickly feeling against her nape that she was being watched. She opened her mouth to reply, but froze as the man's mug seemed to move of its own accord, tipping backwards and spilling its steaming contents across his abdomen and down the front of his trousers.

The man yelped and jumped backwards. She did not understand many of the words he screeched, but the manner in which he said them made their meaning abundantly clear. "Damn asari tramp! You did that, didn't you? Used your damned mind voodoo!"

Liara began slowly backing away as the man clambered across the counter toward her. "N…n…no. I did not do any such thing." Why were there no other customers? The previously friendly station had just turned into a menacing place. All Liara wanted to do was get safely back to the ship without causing an intergalactic incident. She was fairly certain Benezia would not approve if she placed the man in a stasis field and hung him upside down from the top of the ring. It was as the had feared. Humans were too aggressive, a trait common to many short lived species. At this moment, if she never saw another human as long as she lived, she would be content. She continued to back toward the door, arms outstretched protectively in front of her. She was tempted to activate the alert on her omnitool, but her pride wouldn't let her. "I will just be on my way now, sir."

Glowering, the man lurched forward. "Like hell you…" Liara's eyes widened as the man tripped and plummeted to the floor. His forward momentum caused his face to grind against the tile as he skidded toward her. Before he came to a halt, she turned on her heel and ran.

Jane watched the direction in which Liara ran, but stayed rooted to the spot. As soon as the clerk tried to rise, she kicked him sharply in the ribs. It wouldn't do for him to think Liara had been the cause of his misfortune, even if it meant Jane got caught. When his hand snaked out in the direction of her cloaked ankle, she ground her boot heel down onto his knuckles until they crunched. "Stay down, you worthless sack of crap!" Satisfied her disembodied voice would be enough to keep him from blaming the asari, Jane jogged from the market to find Liara.

Ignoring the stares she was attracting, Liara ran full tilt for several minutes before finally slowing to a walk. Her mind replayed the events that had just transpired, but she couldn't make sense of them. She had most certainly _not_ caused his beverage to spill, though the more she thought about the clerk's unprofessional behavior, the more she wished it had been her. It was not her fault the human was so graceless he could not keep himself or his cup upright! The nerve of the man!

She looked up at her surroundings to get her bearings, and sighed in frustration. When she fled the shop, she had gone the wrong way. Needing to rest and collect herself, she wandered a bit farther until she found an isolated park bench under a trio of lush trees, and dropped onto it with a thump. What she had hoped would be a day of discovery had turned into a disaster. She was tired, she was hungry, she was disappointed with herself for not handling the situation with the clerk better, and…There was that tingling sensation again, as if she was being watched, or followed. She forced her eyes forward and fought the urge to turn and look. Maybe she was simply being paranoid. Admittedly, she was surrounded by strangers whose customs and culture were very alien to her, but it never hurt to be too cautious, especially after the way her morning had gone thus far. And she wouldn't put it past Benezia to have one of the commandos trail her. Casually, as if checking messages, she activated her omnitool and engaged the scanner. The radius was not great, maybe ten feet or so, but it would silently alert her if anyone came too close.

Still cloaked, Jane stepped from behind the low hanging branches of a tree and stared at Liara. Her smile was gone. She looked flustered, and angry, and…hurt. Jane struggled to sort her emotions as she silently drew closer. In the shop, she had felt an overwhelming need to protect the young doctor. Now, she felt an equally compelling need to comfort her in some way. She wanted to see her smile again. She wanted to be the cause of that smile. It was a startling realization that had her nearly turning away immediately. She knew all too well the dangers of getting attached to anyone, much less an asari she had never even spoken to, and who would likely be gone within a matter of days anyway. But try as she might, she couldn't make her feet carry her away. There was something about this girl that tugged at her, pulling her in. There was no denying that Jane found her physically attractive. After a few rapidly aborted attempts to make out with guys, she knew it was females she was interested in, but human females…not beautiful, blue, asari females. As if captured by gravity, she slowly moved closer, barely breathing as she tried to make sense her feelings.

A twig cracked sharply under her foot. In the same instant, Liara leapt to her feet. The movement was so sudden and unexpected, Jane fell backwards, inadvertently deactivating her cloak as threw back her hands to catch the brunt of her weight.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Liara demanded as blue wisps of biotic energy flowed across her raised palm.

"Oh. Shit." Jane attempted to toggle her cloak back on, even as she was jumping to her feet, but a stasis field formed around her, locking her into place.

Liara stared openly at the human she had captured. The last thing she had expected was a human. One of the asari, yes, but this… She moved in closer as shock gave way to curiosity. The female was young and thin, almost gangly, with eyes so green they blended in perfectly with the trees surrounding them. Her hair was distinctly orange and like Liara, a smattering of freckles dotted the bridge of her nose. To Liara's surprise, her eyes held no fear, only an eager fascination that mirrored her own.

"If I release you, do you promise not to run?" She couldn't keep her locked in a stasis field indefinitely, and she was eager to hear the humans explanation. "Well?" She stared at the human expectantly, then flushed lavender when she realized she would be unable to answer due to the stasis bubble surrounding her. "Oh! Sorry!" Liara dropped the stasis bubble, but had her biotics keyed up and ready should the girl attempt to flee.

Jane fell to the ground laughing. She couldn't help it. Liara's interrogation attempt and hasty apology were so at odds with one another she found the entire situation amusing.

Liara's eyes flashed with annoyance. "Is it customary for humans to spend so much time off their feet?"

Jane pushed herself to her feet and dusted off her knees before facing Liara with a smile. "Do asari always attempt to question their captives when they aren't able to speak?"

At an impasse, and unsure what to do next, the pair stared at each other for several long moments before Jane finally spoke. "I am truly sorry for scaring you…"

"I was not afraid." Liara interjected sternly.

"That's not what I…" Jane frowned, struggling to find the right words. She desperately didn't want to say the wrong thing. In fact, saying the right thing, whatever magical thing that would keep Liara T'Soni here, in front of her, suddenly became more important than breathing. It made no sense, but there it was. She held her hands up in a placating gesture. "Look, for what it's worth, I'm sorry for _startling _you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay after that jerk at the store…"

Liara's eyes widened. "It was _you! You _tipped the clerk's mug!" She took several small steps backwards. "You made him fall! He thought that _I.."_

Jane stepped forward, closing the space between them once more. "He was being a complete ass! And he was obviously making you uncomfortable! And I…I didn't like it." Her voice trailed off weakly. How could she explain the need she had felt to protect the young asari when she didn't even fully understand it herself. "I made certain that he knew it wasn't you, okay?"

"How long have you been following me?"

Jane blushed, and sheepishly brought a hand up to rub at the back of her neck. She was tempted to lie, but they were already off to a shaky start. "Um, well. Pretty much since you left your ship this morning." She hurried along as Liara's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I didn't mean to..well, that's not exactly true..the original plan was to.."

"Not get caught?" Liara's brows quirked up. She tried to stay angry, but watching the humans skin turn several interesting shades of pink as she tried to explain her actions made her anger evaporate instantly. Whoever this girl was, she was certainly no threat, and Liara had to admit, she was rather pleasant to look at.

"Yeah…that was the general idea." Jane sighed and looked down at the scuffed toes of her shoes. _Great Jane. She probably thinks you are some freak show stalker idiot who can't put together a complete sentence. _She cautiously lifted her eyes until they met Liara's. Unable to read what the other girl was thinking, she rocked back onto her heels and hitched her thumb over her shoulder, pointing in the general direction of the nearest path. "I'll just..uh, leave you alone then. I really am sorry if I offended you." Ignoring the inexplicable ache in her chest, Jane turned on her heel to leave.

"Wait!" Liara clamped her hand over her mouth, shocked that she had called out; it was unlike her to be so forward. Yet when the girl turned back to face her, the expression on her face was so sincere she knew she couldn't just let her walk away. She took a few tentative steps forward. "I do not even know your name." Mentally, she made a decision, never once questioning whether it was the wrong thing to do. She stepped toward the human boldly, and held out her hand. "Hello. I am Liara T'Soni. And you are?"

Liara wasn't prepared for the sudden rush of warmth that spread through her chest at the girl's crooked grin. She was even less prepared for the physical jolt she felt when their palms brushed together and warm fingers closed around her hand. This was nothing like shaking the Prime Minister's hand.

"Hi. I'm Jane…Jane Shepard." Jane studied their joined hands, a curious expression on her face. "Is that your biotics?"

Liara realized she was still holding Jane's hand, and quickly released it as a warm flush colored her cheeks. "What? No." Her brows drew together. "Why?"

It was Jane's turn to blush. "I just thought I felt…" she let her words taper off. "It was nothing."

With formal introductions finally made, the pair stared at each other openly, their mutual curiosity evident in the way they studied one another, leaning first to one side, and then the other.

"You don't have ears…"

"Your hair is very bright…"

They laughed as their words tumbled on top of each other, and Jane felt her breath catch in her throat at the musical sound of Liara's laughter.

_You don't have ears? Wow Shepard, way to win her over. _ She needed to pull herself together. So far, she had been caught stalking, which was embarrassing enough by itself. Coupled with the fact that she had barely been able to string five words together, and now, had blurted out an unnecessary comment about her lack of ears, Jane figured she was batting a big, fat zero. She drew herself upright. "Are you hungry? It's just about lunchtime, and there's a coney stand just around the way if you'd care to join me?" Jane paled as it occurred to her she had no idea if asari could even eat human food. "Um. You can eat hot dogs, right?"

Liara carefully schooled her expression to hide her revulsion. "I can eat human food, Jane, but the idea of consuming a warm canine is less than appealing. Perhaps some fresh fruit?" She assumed with fruit, she would at least know what she was getting.

Jane's laughter rang out. "It's not an actual dog, you know. It's a kind of meat served in bread with different toppings."

"Oh." Liara chided herself for the error.

Jane cautiously placed a reassuring hand on Liara's arm. She wasn't certain what kinds of touch would be considered inappropriate, but it felt like the right thing to do, so she went with it. "I will be the first to admit, what I know about asari and asari culture could fit in a thimble with room to spare. I'm guessing, based on your reaction, you know about the same amount regarding humans, right?"

"That depends." Liara hesitated. She hated not knowing things. "Is a thimble large or small?"

Shepard's smile was quick as she held up her thumb and forefinger to illustrate the size. "It's very tiny. So if I say something that is confusing, or do anything inappropriate, I'll need you to tell me, okay? And feel free to ask me anything you want; I'll do the same with you. Agreed?"

Liara nodded eagerly, maybe humans weren't as bad as the clerk led her to believe. "Agreed."

"Fantastic! By the end of the day, you are going to be a human expert!"

Liara loved hotdogs. They found a shady spot near the lake and ate ravenously while chirping birds flitted from tree to tree nearby. Jane was surprised to learn Liara was not female, she was monogendered, but nearly choked on her hotdog when Liara revealed her age.

"No way!"

"Yes, I am ninety two. Do not think me _too _young; I will be ninety three soon." Liara paused at Jane's continued look of disbelief. "How old are you?"

Jane hesitated, feeling more than a little awkward at the difference in their ages. "I just turned sixteen."

"And you are considered a maiden..a young woman in human terms?" Liara prompted.

"I'm not sure." Jane finished the last of her hotdog and chewed thoughtfully. She wiped her mouth before answering. "I think I'm sitting right in that weird space between being considered a kid and a young woman."

"So am I! See there, the difference in years is irrelevant; essentially we are the same age. It is very awkward, isn't it? Not quite being a child, yet not quite being an adult. I am torn between wanting to pursue my own interests in archeology and becoming the daughter my mother expects me to be."

"What does your mom want?"

Liara pulled her legs up and rested her chin against her knees. "My mother is a matriarch; she has lived for centuries and her years have brought her great wisdom and experience. She is a respected leader among my people, and I believe..no, I know..she would like me to follow in her footsteps."

Jane stretched out onto her back and stared up at Liara. " You say your mom has had centuries to gain wisdom and experience, yet it seems like she wants you to start out where she is now, but you really can't can you? By asari standards, you haven't even lived yet. I say follow your own interests. You need to experience things on your own terms and in your own time just like she did; no one starts off wise."

Liara shoved her playfully, heartened by her words. "You seem to be making a good start."

Jane laughed. "Trust me, the last thing I am is wise. If I was wise, you wouldn't have caught me." She rolled over onto her side and propped up on her elbow. "Though I have to admit; I'm kind of glad you did."

Liara tilted her head sideways and arched one brow. "Only kind of?"

Jane's pulse jumped erratically as their eyes met. "No. I am really, _really _glad you did."

Blushing furiously, Liara dropped her gaze. "So am I."

Jane stood and reached down to offer Liara a hand up. "What would you like to do next?"

Jane took Liara to a human history museum, and the local Prothean Research much of the content was familiar to her, seeing it through Liara's eyes made it all seem wonderfully new and exciting. Liara dragged Jane through a string of shops where she oohed and aahed over everything that caught her eye, which was practically everything in the store.

Hours later, they were on their way out of the final shop when Liara came to a full stop in front of a hair care products display, of all things. She grasped a ribboned bow and held it out to Jane, eyes smiling.

"Absolutely not." Jane shuddered. She reached out to a nearby table and picked up a barrette. "I can't tell you how many of these things I had to _accidentally _lose when I was younger before mom finally stopped tormenting me with them. They are ghastly."

Liara laughed and picked up a comb, running her fingers across the tines. "I can't imagine you wearing ribbons."

"It was horrible. I'm sure I am irreversibly psychologically scarred by all the braids and pig tails I had to endure." Seeing Liara's confusion she explained the variety of methods for managing hair while Liara listened intently, her expression rapt.

"Fascinating." Liara's eyes studied Jane's hair while she spoke. Jane had told her she was commonly referred to as a redhead, even though the color of her hair was not actually red, but a stunning orange that was lighter at the tips when the light shone directly on it. It was long enough that the ends curled under the hood of her jacket, and the shaggy locks in front tended to fall across her face when she looked down. Liara's fingers positively itched to touch it.

Jane quieted as Liara unknowingly clutched the comb she was holding against her chest and stared at her hair. "Liara?"

"What?" Liara stammered, and followed Jane's eyes to the comb. "Oh.. I. I don't mean to be presumptuous, or rude, but I was wondering if…if…" She held up the comb and eyed Jane's hair again.

"You want to comb my hair?" Jane tried to quell the disbelief in her voice, though as she studied Liara's crest it made perfect sense.

"Can I?"

She was so adorably irresistible Jane simply didn't have the heart to say no. "Sure."

Liara's answering smile was radiant, and made Jane feel like she had just jumped through a mass relay to an uncharted system. Liara stepped forward, comb in hand.

"Whoa." Jane threw up her hands to cover her head. "Not here. Besides, I have to buy this first." She snagged the comb from Liara's hand and paid for it, while Liara waited impatiently, eyes glowing with excitement.

As they exited the store, Jane turned to Liara. "Was that a difficult thing for you to ask? About my hair?"

"Goddess yes!" Liara pressed her hand to her forehead. "I cannot believe I did." She dropped her hand, her expression earnest. "Typically I would never be so forward, but you make it easy. You make me feel comfortable. I am…different here, with you."

Jane frowned. "Good different, right?"

"Yes, Jane." Liara's lips tugged up at the corners. "Good different."

"That's great, because now I have something I'd like to ask you, but…"

"You can ask me anything. I can't explain why, and I know I have only known you for less than a solar day, but I feel drawn to you." She paused before adding. "It is most unsettling."

Jane nodded, unable to speak from a mouth suddenly as dry as sand. To hear Liara describe the very things that she was feeling herself was indeed, most unsettling. She stood silently for several minutes, trying to dissect her feelings when Liara's prompting brought her out of her reverie. "What was it you wanted to ask?"

Despite her best efforts, Jane felt heat slowly spread across her cheeks. "You promise not to laugh?"

"Oh, Jane, of course I won't laugh! What is it?"

"CanIholdyourhand?" The words were out of her mouth before her brain recognized her blunder. She felt her eyes widen briefly before she screwed them tightly shut, too mortified to utter one more syllable for fear of immediate death by embarrassment. That was _not _what she had planned to ask. She was going to ask Liara about her crests, but inadvertently blurted what she had been thinking about instead. _Way to go, Captain Smooth. Could you possibly be any more path…_

Her self berating thoughts were cut off by the sensation of Liara's creamy smooth and dainty fingers lacing with hers. Her eyes popped open to find Liara standing very close. Close enough that she could smell the warm, sweet scent of her skin as she studied her face.

Jane could barely breathe. "It's just that, humans are very…um, tactile, and the longer I am near you, the more I want to, well, touch you in some way."

"I would like that very much, too."

Liara's eyes were as blue as the lake at midday, and Jane felt her heart slide sideways inside her chest. She had to know. "How long are you here?"

A shadow of sadness flickered across Liara's face. "Only for today."

"Then don't let go, okay?"

Hand in hand they strolled back to the park, arriving just as the evening lights popped on with a low hum. Jane quickly checked her chrono, realizing she had missed evening check in and that she didn't even care. She was exactly where she wanted to be, in the company of the most fascinating creature she had ever encountered, and she never wanted the day to end.

They returned to the bench where they first officially met, and Jane released Liara's hand to give her the comb.

Liara shivered in the cool air, immediately missing Jane's warmth as soon as she stepped away. Seeing the shiver, Jane slipped off her favorite N7 hoodie and held it open for Liara.

"Are you sure? Won't _you_ be cold?"

Jane though of Liara's fingers running through her hair and firmly shook her head. She was likely going to be the exact opposite of cold. "Nah, I'll be fine, I promise." She waited until Liara slipped her arms in the sleeves and turned back to face her, then grasped the zipper in her fingertips and pulled it upward slowly. She could feel the flat plane of Liara's stomach against the back of her fingers, and the soft swell of her chest as slid the zipper upward. She was most definitely _not_ feeling cold.

When Jane turned to take a seat on the bench directly in front of Liara, Liara pulled the jacket up to her nose and breathed in deeply. Not only was the hoodie still warm from Jane's body heat, it was saturated with her clean, earthy scent. Her fingers trembled as she lifted the comb. "Are you certain this is all right?"

"Your not planning on braids or pigtails are you?"

Liara could hear the smile in Jane's voice. "No, it would hardly be kind of me to traumatize you further."

"Then yes, this is perfectly all right. Just be gentle." She warned.

Holding her breath, Liara slipped her fingers into Jane's hair. "Goddess!"

Jane stiffened and tilted her head back to look up at Liara. "Is something wrong?"

"What? Oh no! It's just that I've never felt anything so…remarkably complex."

Jane tried to twist around, but Liara held her still. "Complex?"

"Yes. Your hair is so soft, and the weight of it is divine, and it smells like…fresh herbs…and mint?"

"Yeah. My favorite shampoo is rosemary mint."

"Goddess, it's lovely."

Jane was glad Liara couldn't see her face, which felt a hundred degrees warmer that the rest of her. "Thanks."

"Now please be still, and let me comb it."

Jane sat obediently while Liara half combed and half played with her hair. They talked of about everything that came to mind, perfectly at ease in each other's company. In the silence of the park they felt cut off from the rest of the world, as if they were all alone in the universe, just the two of them, sharing everything they could.

Liara didn't want to stop touching Jane's hair. There was something deliciously intimate about the act that made her stomach flutter, especially when Jane relaxed and let her head fall back against her. But it was getting late, and she didn't want to spend the rest of their time together staring at the back of Jane's head, either. She compromised by shoving the comb in her pocket and sitting ridiculously close to Jane on the bench. She didn't care if she seemed too eager, she only knew she wanted to keep touching her. To her surprise, Jane draped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close while Liara took Jane's free hand in hers once again. It felt so right to be cuddled up next to her. She laughed as she recalled Jane trapped in her stasis bubble. Had it only been that morning? It felt like years ago.

"What's so funny?"

"I was thinking about how we met here this morning. You never did explain why you were following me."

Jane sighed. "I didn't plan to follow you, I swear. I ditched school today and ended up at the viewing deck. When I saw your ship come in, I planned to sneak on board and check it out. But then the commandos kind of got in the way, and you came out…when it came down to the choice between sneaking onto a beautiful asari ship, or following a beautiful asari, well…the choice sort of made itself."

_Did she just say I am beautiful? _"You do realize the ships sensors would have detected you the moment you stepped into the airlock? Even with the cloak? My mother's ship is a specialized convoy for high ranking asari officials. The security on board is top of the line."

"See there? It was fate."

Liara nodded. "It certainly feels that way doesn't it?"

Jane swallowed the lump forming in her throat and gently squeezed Liara's hand. "Yes. Yes it does."

Not wanting to dwell on their rapidly dwindling time together, Liara changed the subject. "You are still in school? What are you studying?"

Jane bit back a laugh. "I'm still in high school, Liara. It's not like college; it's all general studies stuff, with an emphasis on Alliance training."

"Is that what you plan on doing? Enlisting with the Alliance?"

"It's a family tradition; both of my parents are in the navy and I grew up on Alliance carriers." She shrugged. "I can't imagine doing anything different."

"So I should avoid following in my mother's footsteps, but you are definitely following in yours?"

"It's completely different; unlike you, I've never wanted anything else." Jane absently traced the N7 logo on Liara's shoulder. "Besides, I'm not exactly following."

"You plan on joining the N7 program?"

"If I can, though it's not something you can enroll in; you have to be invited. They're the cream of the crop in the navy, the best of the best."

Liara tilted her head back to smile up at Jane. "Then you will definitely be invited."

Liara's omnitool flashed red in the dim light, startling them both. "Goddess, it's my mother." Liara forced back frustration, sat up straight, and answered the call, opting to keep the video muted.

"Hello, mother."

"Liara, where are you? You missed dinner; the Prime Minister joined me on the ship."

"I take it your meetings went well, then?" Liara rolled her eyes, and Jane bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing out loud, but a small snicker escaped.

"Why yes, they did. Liara why can't I see you? Is someone else there? Was that laughter?"

"I am at the park, mother. It was a bird singing, nothing more." Liara hadn't planned to lie, but today had been too special to permit her mother to dissect and inevitably scorn.

"You should come back to the ship now, Little Wing. It is late. Your equipment was delivered earlier and we will be departing within a few hours." Benezia paused. "Should I send Shiala to escort you?"

"No, that will not be necessary. I will see you shortly."

Liara ended the call before her mother changed her mind and sent Shiala anyway. She stood and turned to face Jane, her fingers seeking the zipper on the borrowed hoodie.

Jane rose and placed her hand over Liara's to stop her. "No, please. Keep it." She whispered. "I don't want you to get cold." She wrapped Liara's small hand inside hers. "Come on, I'll walk you back."

Reluctantly, Liara withdrew her hand and shook her head, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. "No, I should go back alone. Thank you, Jane, for a beautiful day."

Jane fought back her own tears as her quietly broke inside her chest. "Will I ever see you again?"

Liara thought of the upcoming dig, her career plans, and Jane's plans with the navy. Their worlds were just too different. She couldn't imagine any event so unusual as to cause their paths to accidentally cross, and Jane was still in high school, not even an adult by human standards. "Given our circumstances, it is highly unlikely." Why did she feel so suddenly empty? "I should go." Without another word, Liara turned and ran, ignoring the tears that streamed down her face.

Jane watched Liara's retreating form growing smaller in the distance until she drew out of sight, feeling more hollow than she could ever recall feeling in her young life. Even as Liara moved farther away, she felt the familiar tug, like a tidal pull with Liara at its center, urging her onward. Powerless to resist, she quickly activated her omni-tool, toggled her cloak, and set off at a sprint.

Lungs burning and legs heavy, she caught up to Liara and followed her silently toward the docking bay. The station was dark and eerily silent, and she tried to convince herself she just wanted to see that Liara reached her ship safely. The truth was, she simply wanted to see her. She hung back and kept to the shadows, not daring to get too close for fear of chasing the asari down and blubbering like an idiot.

As Liara reached the last corner before turning down the long corridor that led to the waiting ship, she slowed, then stopped. Lifting a sleeve, she swiped at her eyes and turned abruptly, facing the direction from which she had just come.

Jane could have withstood anything, but the sight of Liara crying was her undoing. Without warning, Jane materialized in front of her. Her slender arms were wrapped around Liara, pulling her close before she had even fully decloaked.

"Goddess, I could feel you behind me. I knew you were there even without the sensor on my omni-tool." Liara buried her face against Jane's neck."I don't understand. I've spent years alone digging at remote locations, but I've never felt lonely until I walked away from you."

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here. I'm right here." Jane didn't know what to could she even say? That today had been the most wonderful, perfect day of her life? That she felt drawn to, connected with, and entirely entranced by a person she had known less than a day? It occurred to her that she was being an idiot. Yes, she could say those things to Liara, and it wouldn't even sound crazy, because Liara would understand.

She loosened her grip and took a small step back. Her eyes locked with Liara's and she lifted her hand to gently touch the perfection of her face. "You are the most amazing, and beautiful person I have ever met, and today was…priceless. Finding you, here, was like finding a rare artifact; something to always treasure. So, even though your are leaving, and even though I will probably never see you again…" He voice dropped to a husky whisper. "Even though it is killing me inside, I wouldn't take back one second…one nanosecond…of the time I spent with you today."

"Nor would I." Liara sniffled. "Does it sound irrational that I do not want to leave?"

Jane's half smile was colored with sadness. "No more irrational than that I don't want you to go." She took Liara's hands in hers and held them tenderly before releasing them. " Look for me in the stars in a few years, eh?"

Liara nodded. "I will." Impulsively, Liara leaned in and brushed her lips across Jane's. They were even softer than she had imagined, and the look of wonder that flashed through Jane's green eyes as she drew away was well worth the risk she had taken in being so forward. Silently, she turned and walked away.

Jane waited on the viewing deck until the wee hours of the morning until the asari ship finally departed. She watched until it was a speck against the sky, and finally gone. She lifted her fingers and gently touched her lips, imagining she could still feel the soft imprint of Liara's mouth against hers. "I'll find you again one day, Liara T'Soni. I swear it."

**Therum 13 years later…**

From a crouched position behind a slab of stone, Jane found another geth trooper in her scope. She automatically exhaled, and squeezed the trigger, watching the synthetic fall before lining up the next shot. "Ha!That puts me two ahead of you now, Garrus. You're slacking!"

Before the self satisfied smile could leave her face, Garrus rose to his feet and fired one…two…three precision shots in a row, each racing up the canyon to take out the remaining geth surrounding the bunker. He shouldered his rifle with a smirk. "You were saying?"

Jane rolled her eyes, and pushed herself to her feet, glad to be away from the oven hot rock. "Nice shooting, Vakarian, but we're not done yet…come on!" She continued silently forward, signaling Garrus and Chief Williams to follow, forcing herself to focus on the next enemy, the next ten feet, the simple act of moving forward, feeling as if she is running on auto pilot. She couldn't stop thinking about the person they had come to find.

Liara T'Soni…the name flashed through her head carrying with it distant, sweet memories of Arcturus. She hadn't seen or talked to the asari in thirteen years. She had planned to find her long ago, but so much had happened in the passing years. Life had intervened, and continued to carry her forward and away from her plan. She had enlisted, fought in the Blitz, survived Akuze, tracked pirates during the Theshaca Raids; she had, as Liara had predicted, been invited to the N7 program. She had even been made a Spectre. Somewhere along the way, she had abandoned her plans to find the scientist, brushing the impulse off a nothing more than a teen fantasy. She belonged in the stars, while Liara was firmly rooted to the ground of her dig sites. Yet at the first mention of Benezia's name, and then Liara's, her heart had begun beating with a rapid, incessant thud, churning up all those long buried memories, and it hadn't let up since. The Council may have had their doubts, but Jane knew in her bones Liara wasn't helping the matriarch or Saren.

Her worry for Liara mounted as they entered the mine shaft and continued to be confronted by more geth.

"Commander, I'm not so certain this isn't a trap." Crouching low in the tunnel, Williams scooted over to kneel beside her. "For all we know, Benezia's daughter is working with Saren. I don't like the way this feels, ma'am."

"We're not going to know until we find her, Ash, but don't jump to conclusions." Jane hadn't told her crew that she knew the asari. She kept the information close, for no other reason than that it felt intensely private, and cherished. And on the slim off chance she was wrong, she didn't want to be in a position to provide explanations or excuses. No matter what happened, no matter who Liara was now, Jane would always keep that perfect, feverish day pristine in her memories.

They continued fighting their way through the tunnels. They methodically worked their way through the dig site, taking a rickety elevator down several stories past ancient hollow pits that looked like prison cells to Jane's eye. When the elevator shuddered to a stop just over the lowest level, Jane heard the sweetest sound she could ever recall hearing, the sound of Liara's voice. Her elation faded as she realized Liara was calling for help.

She held up an open palm to Ash and Garrus, signaling for them to pause before activating her tactical cloak. "Alright..let's go."

There she was, twenty feet away, hovering in a clear, green field. Jane approached silently, mindful to step softly so her boots didn't ring against the grated floor. Liara T'Soni was just as beautiful as Jane remembered; no, she was even more beautiful, if such a thing was possible. She looked slightly older; her body had matured over the years, rounding out her curves, but her freckles, her eyes, and the fresh color of her skin were exactly as Jane remembered. A sudden sense of dread and fear settled over her as it occurred to her Liara might not even remember her.

Liara stared out at the approaching forms of a Turian and a human in the opening of the chamber in which she was trapped. She could feel…something, something indefinable that caused her skin to tingle and stirred old memories she couldn't quite place. "Hello? Can you hear me? I need help!"

Jane's heart pounded in her ears. She was torn between fear and elation; she had to know for certain where Liara stood. Regardless of her personal feelings, her mission was too important. Still cloaked, Jane dropped her voice to a low rasp. "Your mother is working with Saren. Whose side are you on?"

"What? Who said that?" Liara looked around wildly. "I am not on anybody's side! I may be Benezia's daughter, but I am nothing like her. I have not spoken to her in years. Please, whoever you are, just get me out of here."

Liara's word was good enough for her. Jane released the breath she didn't know she had been holding and decloaked.

Liara's eyes widened. "Goddess…are you..are you real? Am I hallucinating?"

"You're not hallucinating. I am real." Jane searched Liara's face for any sign of recognition.

Liara stared in disbelief. The armor clad woman in front of her couldn't be, could it? Her hair was the same color, maybe a shade darker. Freckles still dotted her nose, though the scar slicing through her brow was new. The female before her looked the same, but different, more mature. Gangly arms had filled out with sleek muscle, and her shape was decidedly more womanly. Was it possible?… "Jane?" she whispered. "Goddess, Jane, is that you? Jane Shepard?"

Jane smiled crookedly and Liara's heart soared within her chest.

"Hang on Liara, we're going to get you out of there."

Following a few more dead geth, a well placed mining laser blast, and a very abbreviated version of how she had met Liara T'Soni, Jane nodded to Garrus to deactivate the prothean field. When the field faded, Jane stepped forward, catching Liara against her chest before she could fall.

Liara wrapped her arms tightly around Jane, and buried her face against her neck. "I never thought I would see you again; I can barely believe that you are here, that you are real!" She lifted her face to look in Jane's eyes. "I looked for you in the stars."

"You found me." Jane spared a moment to pull Liara snugly against her, before slowly placing her on her feet. To her surprise and delight, Liara grasped her hand, winding their fingers together. Jane's eyes locked onto Liara's. "Think you could stay with me for a while this time?"

Liara squeezed her hand tightly, her grip certain and strong. "Do not worry, this time, I'm not letting go."


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you all right?" Jane placed a steadying hand on Liara's arm as the asari swayed unsteadily. _Dammit_. She should have sent her to Dr. Chakwas the moment the ground team had returned to the Normandy.

"I…I am fine, if a bit overwhelmed." Liara swiped a trembling hand across her forehead as the wave of weakness passed.

Though it frustrated her, Jane knew the debrief with the crew had been necessary. She _knew_ Liara wasn't involved with Saren or Benezia, however given her past history with Liara, as brief as it was, she couldn't simply bring her onto the ship without asking the hard questions and getting more information. Their mission was too important and Jane needed the crew to trust her judgment, not assume she was literally holding hands with the enemy.

True to her word, as they'd entered the elevator at the dig site, Liara had kept a firm grip on her hand…until Ashley's venomous glare had caused her to pull away. Before Jane could repair the situation, they were under attack. Between battling the krogan and geth, narrowly escaping the dig site, and the post mission debrief there had been no time to make things right. Now she couldn't miss the measured distance Liara had kept between them since returning to the Normandy. Even standing right next to her Jane could sense it, and she had no idea how to cross it. She was better at burning bridges than building them.

Troubled, Jane reluctantly dropped her hand. "Before you get settled in, I want you checked out by Dr. Chakwas. I'll come find you in a bit; but you'll be in good hands I promise."

Liara nodded, her eyes heavy with fatigue and uncertainty. "I think that is a good idea…Commander."

Inwardly wincing at Liara's use of her rank, Jane turned to Wrex who stood silently nearby. "Will you show her to the med bay, Wrex?" She subtly jerked her head toward Lieutenant Alenko and Gunnery Chief Williams lingering at the back of the room. "I've got some things here I need to finish up."

Wrex's eyes flicked briefly to the humans and narrowed. "Hmmph." Wrex didn't miss much and the coarse grunt spoke volumes about his thoughts on what the 'things to finish up' likely were. "Sure thing, Shepard."

He stepped beside Liara and gently placed his beefy hand at her elbow. "Right this way, Doc."

She watched their retreating forms with a sad smile. Beside Wrex, the petite asari appeared even more small and fragile though he led her with great care, shortening his stride and slowing his pace to match hers. To Jane's surprise, Wrex had hovered protectively near Liara since she arrived on board. The behavior was out of character for the surly krogan, but she was pleased by it in light of Liara's most recent encounter with the krogan mercenary on Therum.

Wrex's deep voice rumbled from the doorway. "You don't know it yet asari, but you're about to make Dr. Chakwas's day. It's not often she gets other patients besides Shepard." He smirked over his shoulder. "Heh, _humans_ are too _soft_."

She shook her head, refusing to take Wrex's bait and waited for the door to fully close before wiping all traces of emotion from her face and turning to Kaidan and Ashley. "You two obviously have something on your mind; let's hear it."

Ashley nervously eyed Kaiden who gave a quick nod of his down turned head. Straightening, she cross her arms over her chest. "Permission to speak freely, ma'am?"

Shepard's eyes narrowed as she quietly regarded the pair, taking in Ashley's tense posture and Kaidan's refusal to make eye contact. Better to get whatever this was out in the open now. "Granted."

"We're not convinced it's a good idea for Dr. T'Soni to remain on board, ma'am."

Jane released a quiet sigh and straddled a nearby chair. Leaning forward, she rested her elbows against its back. "And why is that, Chief?"

"Don't you think there is a conflict of interest, Commander? We're searching for Saren and T'Soni's_ mother. _ How can we be certain she isn't helping them in some way or that she won't help them when we finally catch up to them?"

Jane wasn't accustomed to explaining herself. Explaining meant talking, a habit she avoided, but for the sake of maintaining peace she did it anyway. "You saw her down there, Ash, and you heard her in here. She had no idea what was going on. Saren's lackeys were going to take her or kill her. If she was helping them wouldn't it have made more sense for her to go with them willingly?"

Doubt flickered across Ashley's face. "Yeah. Even I have to admit she seemed really shocked by the news about her mother. She's either clueless or a _really _good liar."

"She has no reason to lie. Look, you don't have to be certain, you just have to trust that I am." She shrugged. "I trust her."

Kaidan's head popped up and he eyed her warily. "You make trust a little difficult, Commander. Why didn't you tell us you knew Dr. T'Soni before we arrived on Therum? I respect the fact that you're a private person, ma'am, but this is different. It involves the mission. Why keep us in the dark like that?"

Shepard grimaced at the accusation in Kaidan's voice. How could she explain it in a way he could possibly understand? The Alliance was all she had ever known or wanted. Her dream job. She had grown up on Alliance ships, surrounded by soldiers and immersed in military culture. In many ways, she was a soldier well before she enlisted; signing the forms on her eighteenth birthday merely formalized it. It made it real…too real. She had been so damn naive. Not anymore. In the past thirteen years her dream had turned into a nightmare, and her innocence had turned into a dream. Now she was the most highly decorated butcher in the galaxy. The only shred of the person she had been, the last lingering remnant of her innocence and youth, was bound to her memory of Liara and she hadn't been willing to see it tainted by idle speculation and scuttlebutt.

"It wasn't relevant to the mission, Kaidan. I didn't _know_ her before. I _met _her before I enlisted. That is all."

Ashley's brow shot up. "The way she latched onto you made it seem like a lot more than that, Commander." She cocked her her hip to the side. "And you sure didn't seem to mind."

Shepard shot to her feet. The undercurrent of xenophobia in Ashley's words was unmistakable and there was no place for it on her ship. Their mission provided a rare opportunity to show the Council and the Alliance the benefits of diversity by welcoming representatives of every race into her crew. Anything less was unacceptable.

"And now we get down to the real issue, Chief. Tell me, are you more angry about the public display of affection or that I didn't mind?" She closed the distance between them until the front of her boots bumped Ashley's. "Or maybe it's because she's not human?"

The fear in Ashley's eyes didn't mask the brief flash of anger that gave her away.

Clenching her hands together behind her back to keep from punching something, Shepard stepped away and paced the room. Her gut instinct was to lash out, but she knew it would accomplish nothing. "Do you feel the same way Kaidan?"

Alenko held up his hands, palms outward. "No ma'am. It's none of my business who you're interested in, human or alien. I mean, aliens are people just like us, right? Besides," he chuckled. " Dr. T'Soni is _definitely _easy on the…" His smile wilted under the heat of Shepard's glare. "I probably shouldn't finish that."

Her eyes were lethal. "No, Lieutenant you should not."

She faced them squarely. "My mission…_our _mission… is to stop Saren, but I can't do it alone." She turned to Ashley. "Yes, with our losses on Eden Prime humanity has paid the greatest price for Saren's actions and yes, it's important for humans to play a role in bringing him down, but this is not,nor should it be, an entirely human endeavor. Like it or not Chief, we _need_ the other races of the galaxy to support us. Everyone has a stake in this, not just humanity and dammit my crew_ will_ reflect the investments of the other races and respect them. Wrex's strength and battle experience, Garrus's weapon skills, Tali's tech savvy and insight into the geth and yes, Dr. T'Soni's prothean expertise…we _need_ them to succeed. You're a natural leader, Ash; you know how to assess the strength of a squad. You are selling every non-human crew member and yourself short if you can't see that we wouldn't be as far along in our search as we are without them."

Ashley's shoulders slumped and she stared at the floor. "You're absolutely right, Commander, we wouldn't." She lifted her eyes. "But I've gotta say, Shepard. I'm still worried about T'Soni. Her mother…"

"Damn it! Don't you think it's better to judge a person on their own merits rather than the successes or failures of their family, _Williams_?" It was a low blow given Ashley's history, but it was a punch she wasn't about to pull.

Ashley's eyes widened. "Yes ma'am. I..I see what you mean."

Shepard pivoted toward the lieutenant. "Alenko, have I previously given you any reason during the course of this mission not to trust my judgment?"

"No! No ma'am."

"Good." Jane nodded. "For the record, I don't plan on starting now. I withheld the fact that I knew Dr. T'Soni prior to the mission for my own personal reasons." She held up a hand to stall Kaidan as he tried to speak. "Reasons that do not involve he mission and are not up for discussion, LT.

In this case, it's a moot point. Everything turned out well. There was no threat to the mission and we successfully retrieved a valuable asset for our team while simultaneously denying that same asset to Saren." She took a deep breath. "Even so, you did the right thing voicing your concerns and I encourage you to continue doing so. We may not always agree, but I want to know if and when you disagree. Understood?"

The lieutenant snapped to attention."Yes ma'am."

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to contact the Council."

* * *

Kaidan and Ashley walked to the door in stunned silence, neither speaking until the door closed behind them.

"What the hell just happened, Ash? I can't decide if we just got dressed down or given a pat on the back?" Kaidan fell into step with Ashley as she headed for the nearby stairs.

"I think it was a little bit of both, LT. What I want to know is what the hell happened to our Commander? I was _freaked_ about confronting her but damn, she was actually nice about it!" Ashley stopped abruptly. "_Nice _Kaidan! The words 'nice' and 'Shepard' are mutually exclusive. I'm pretty sure they're so far removed from each other you can't even find them on the same extranet database anywhere." With a quick shake of her head, she resumed her quick pace.

"C'mon, Ash. She's not that bad. She just…" Kaidan rubbed his palms together, struggling to find the appropriate words. "Well, you know…she's…"

"Ruthless? Cold? Heartless?"

As they entered the relative privacy of the stairwell, Kaidan nearly pulled Ashley off her feet as he grabbed her shoulder and steered her around to face him. "That's not true, Ash. When we were on Eden Prime, she was hard, but only out of necessity. I saw the look on her face when she knocked me away from that beacon, Chief, and I'll never forget it. I think if an army of geth had been between us, she would have taken them all out with her bare hands to save me if she had to. And do you know the first thing she said when she woke up?"

Ashley shook her head.

"She asked Dr. Chakwas about _us b_efore her eyes were even fully open. She wanted to make sure we were okay. Does that sound like someone who is cold and heartless to you?"

"No. No it doesn't." Ashley sighed.

"Look Ash, we're a new team. None of us really know each other that well including Shepard. I mean, we all know her military record but none of us know _her_. Don't jump to conclusions."

"I know you're right, LT. I'm trying, but I just don't get her."

"I can't say that I do either, but I don't think 'getting her' is up to us. I'm just glad there's someone on board who finally might."

"You mean the asari?"

"Yeah, the Commander sort of…lit up every time she looked at her during the debrief. Didn't you notice? It was weird. Not bad weird or anything, just…different. Unexpected, I guess."

"Do I hear the hiss of a torch going out, LT?"

"What?" Kaidan flushed crimson. "No! She's my Commanding officer, Ashley!"

Ashley's melodic laughter danced down the corridor. "Gotcha, LT!" Without waiting for a reply, she aimed for the crew deck.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"I'm going to go chat up Garrus."

"Garrus?" It was no secret Ashley avoided Turians like the plague. "Why?"

"It's like the Commander said." Ashley looked up at him from the curve of the stairs. "It's about time I started giving credit where it's due, don't you think?"

* * *

Shepard sat at her private terminal idly drumming the surface of her desk with her thumbs as the day drew to a close. Her reports were completed and filed and a clean uniform prepped and ready for the following day. She scanned her spartan living quarters with a heavy sigh. Dammit. Everything was in its proper place and her in-box was empty for the first time since she'd taken command. There was absolutely nothing to stop her from going to the med-bay to see Liara. Her fear didn't count. Her fear shouldn't count. She held up her hands, frowning at the visible tremor in her fingers before burying her face against her palms. _Fuck. _It counted.

She was terrified. Hell, she could probably face down a battalion of charging krogan without batting a lash. How was it that one beautiful asari scientist twisted her gut in knots?

_She called me 'Commander'. _Recalling the formal address sent a hollow ache through her chest. Liara had said her title awkwardly, weighing every syllable in her mouth to see how they fit, and pushing her farther away with every meticulously enunciated consonant.

Jane closed her eyes and massaged her temples. Since encountering the beacon her head thrummed with a steady ache and her current stress level wasn't helping. Christ, Liara was here, on the Normandy, less than fifty paces away and she couldn't bring herself to go see her. The saddest thing about her predicament was that it wasn't even Liara she was afraid of. She was afraid of herself. She wanted to run to her, to fly. She needed to see her and the intensity of that need shook her to her core. She wasn't accustomed to feeling. After the Blitz she had systematically chipped away at her emotions allowing only the essentials for survival. Like anger, fear, and more fear. She needed to approach this tactically.

A slow smile spread across her face and she pushed herself up from the chair.

Crossing the room the to her door, she opened it and peered out across the mess. Satisfied the coast was clear, she activated her cloak. Hell yes, she could _do_ tactical.

Slipping out into the common area, she stepped softly across the floor until she stood outside the med-bay door. Once there, she activated her communicator. "Dr. Chakwas, can I see you in CIC, please?"

"_Of course, Commander. I'll be right there_."

Moments later the door hissed open. As Dr. Chakwas strode out, Shepard deftly slipped past the doctor into the dimly lit med-bay. Her eyes were fixed on Liara's sleeping form before the door closed behind her. Careful as a cat, she prowled closer.

Liara lay on a cot in the rearmost corner of the room curled on her side. Her fingers clutched a loosely draped blanket, holding it tucked snuggly under her chin. Jane immediately noticed her color was better, the freckles dotting her nose less pronounced. A soft sigh escaped Jane's lips as she knelt beside the bed and her eyes reaffirmed what her memory already knew to be true. Even after all these years, after all the people she had met and the places she had been, Liara was still the most beautiful creature she had ever seen.

Christ, what was she going to do? It was clear from her recent behavior that Liara was rethinking her initial reaction, and Jane could hardly blame her. Not only was Shepard hunting her mother, but by virtue of touching that damned beacon on Eden Prime she had casually dismantled Liara's theories on the prothean extinction. She winced as she recalled self doubt that had crossed Liara's face when she'd told her about the reapers. _So smooth, tossing that tidbit into the debrief, Shepard._

But Shepard's greatest fear was that even if Liara could see past those transgressions she would soon realize Shepard wasn't the same person she had been on Arcturus, and not in a 'wow, look what you've done with yourself; the years have been kind to you' sort of way. No, she would see how far she had fallen. She would see what a fraud she was. How would Liara react to the person she had become? What would she think of her? She shivered even thinking about it.

Jane's Alliance career was a long series of anti-achievements.

She had fought in the Blitz and "earned" the Star of Terra. What a joke. That shiny bit of metal was bought for her by her best friend Jakob, paid for with his life. After two years apart, she and Jakob had both grinned from ear to ear when they found out they were assigned to the same unit for training. They'd been kids together on the Ben Davis, but they had grown up together in boot, sharing everything, guns, girls…dreams. The pair had been on leave together, planning their glorious and inevitable rise to N7 when the batarians hit Elysium.

Christ, she used to give him so much shit about all the times she took the rap for him and his pranks when they'd been kids. He finally repaid her by taking a grenade for her. The fucking batarian who had thrown the grenade had cooked it before lobbing it into their entrenchment; the blast indicator was nearly a solid red blur when it hit the ground. They had both seen it, knew what it meant. But then Jakob…stupid, brave Jakob, had shoved her to safety and thrown his body over it to protect her. She'd been dubbed hero; it should have been him.

Thanks to her unearned hero status in the aftermath of the Blitz, she had received the long coveted invitation to Interplanetary Combatives Training. Accepting the slot felt like a betrayal to her friend, but she did it anyway, swearing to herself she would honor Jakob's memory by becoming the best. She would never again stand over the ruined body of a friend. She would protect her comrades. She had been such a fool.

She was deep into ICT when her squad was sent to Akuze to investigate a missing pioneer team. When they arrived, all the infrastructure had been intact, but there wasn't so much as a button or bone from the missing settlers. Christ, it had been eerie as hell, like walking through a ghost town, and they'd set up a hasty FOB half a click out from the settlement in the lea of a rocky outcropping.

During the night, a mild tremor underfoot was their only warning. Seconds later a giant worm erupted from the ground, rearing twenty meters in the air and spewing fountains of thick, deadly acid. Her squad was overwhelmed in minutes. Her memories of that night were a shadowy haze filled with pitiful screams and bloody devastation. There had been no time to retreat, little time to fight. A fellow marine had been fully ripped in half in front of her as she'd raced to the Grizzly. Just as she was climbing up to the turret, the beast lashed forward, bashing the vehicle hard enough to send her sailing onto the rocks. The fall had knocked her unconscious and she had awakened much later with a crushing headache, a shattered arm, and her squad…gone. She didn't learn until later the thing was as thresher maw; humans hadn't encountered them before.

The mission had been an utter failure. She had found no one she'd been sent to find and lost everyone with whom she'd arrived, yet before her wounds were fully healed, for surviving in an "admirable and effective fashion", she'd _still_ been made N7. It was almost laughable.

By the time her orders came down to report to Torfan, she had learned a very valuable lesson: people near her tended to die. If she had any doubts regarding the truth of that lesson, the bloody moon of Torfan quickly dispelled them. Her orders were clear: clear the batarian stronghold. God help her, she had done it, becoming walking death for ally and foe alike in the process.

Fueled by anger against the batarians over Jakob's death and desperate to prove to herself she wasn't a fraud, she had been determined to succeed. She had killed without mercy, ruthlessly throwing away her own unit in a frontal assault to ease pressure on the flank, because maintaining the flank increased the likelihood of success and had ultimately saved more lives. She literally carved her way through the enemy because every dead batarian on Torfan meant a live soldier right then or free child elsewhere. It wasn't until she reached the slave pens that she'd truly lost it. Ironically, the battle at Torfan brought her the only designation she had ever truly earned: butcher.

Jane pulled her legs up and pressed her pounding head against her knees. She harbored no illusions; she carried death like a pox with her wherever she went. She had grieved and hardened and somehow she had lived, her continued existence tolerable only because she knew Liara was somewhere out in the galaxy untouched by the ugliness and death she was steeped in. Now, in a twisted cosmic joke lacking all humor, her path had crossed Liara's once again, this time converging at a point that was neither safe or good. _She _was neither safe or good. Yet some deep, selfish part of her thrilled at having Liara near. How screwed up was that?

Shepard's head whipped up as light flooded the room. Inches away, blue eyes blinked open, shining like agates.

Only years of intense training kept Shepard from falling backward. As it was, she rocked back on her heels and barely managed to keep from bumping the bedside table. She froze, forcing her breathing to remain slow and shallow though her heart galloped inside her chest as Liara sat up on the edge of the bed with her bare legs dangling inches away. Jane swallowed hard. Long, beautiful bare legs.

"I'm sorry to wake you Liara, but I need to ensure your electrolytes have stabilized." Dr. Chakwas strolled into the room carrying a slim syringe.

Still clutching the blanket, Liara scanned the room, leaning sideways to investigate every corner before twisting to face the medical officer. "Of course, Dr. Chakwas."

"Unfortunately, until I calibrate our medical equipment to automatically compensate for asari physiology, I'm afraid we'll have to do this the old fashioned way." She smiled apologetically as she held up the needle and syringe. "If you'll just follow me back to the lab?"

With her heart beating so loudly she was certain Liara and Dr. Chakwas could hear it, Jane silently and slowly pushed herself to her feet and edged toward the foot of the bed as Liara stood.

Moving soundlessly she headed for the door, pausing when she heard her name.

"Did Jane…I mean, did Commander Shepard come by while I was sleeping?"

Dr. Chakwas paused before responding. "No dear. The Commander has been practically invisible all afternoon."

Biting back a hiss, Jane quickly looked down, ensuring she was still cloaked.

"But don't fret about it, I'm certain we'll see her soon. Following ground missions there is no end to the reports to be filed. That's the good old Alliance for you, still filing everything in triplicate."

"Oh…yes. I had not thought of that. I imagine she must be very busy."

Jane flinched at the obvious disappointment in Liara's voice, but continued on, exiting the medical bay as soon as Liara and Dr. Chakwas disappeared behind the lab door. The farther away she stayed from Liara, the better off the asari would be.


	3. Chapter 3

After assuring her she was completely recovered, Dr. Chakwas had ushered Liara out of the medical bay the day before and Liara had spent several hours quietly wandering the ship. She was slowly becoming acclimated to the recycled air, the constant steady hum of the engine, and the ubiquitous scent of coffee. She had looked for Jane, but hadn't been awarded with so much as a glimpse of her red hair. Disappointed, and unable to bear the suspicious and often malevolent stares she had received from most of the crew, she had retreated back to the safety of the lab. Unfortunately, Dr. Chakwas had forced her out again this morning.

Liara had traveled to the most remote and isolated locations in the galaxy. She had spent months on end alone, extracting, studying, and cataloguing artifacts, and formulating theories. She had stood in echoing lecture halls and presented her findings to renowned and respected archeologists from Serrice to Armali, ignoring their patronizing smirks and disparaging remarks. But nothing had ever made her feel so acutely anxious as standing in the mess hall of the Normandy, trying to locate the safest place to sit.

She gripped the metal tray so tightly the molded edges dug painfully into her palms as she scanned the crowded room. She felt herself shrinking under the weight of all the eyes that seemed to follow her every move. Like the day before, some were merely curious, others openly hostile. She jumped, nearly spilling her juice as gentle fingers closed around her elbow.

"Keelah! Come sit over here already."

Liara turned, surprised to see a young quarian standing beside her. Though her face was obscured, Liara could just make out the shape of her eyes smiling up through her mask. Other than Dr. Chakwas, it was the friendliest face she had seen since boarding and relief flooded her. "Thank you."

Liara followed her to a table nestled in the far corner of the room and forced her fingers to release their vice like grip on the tray. Placing it gingerly on the table, she took a seat.

"I'm Tali" The quarian said as she took the seat across from her. "We didn't get a chance to formally meet after the meeting."

"It is nice to meet you Tali, and please, call me Liara." Liara nervously unfolded her napkin and draped it across her lap.

"You don't get out much do you, Liara?" Tali rested her folded arms on the table, leaning slightly forward to study her new table mate.

"No." Liara couldn't tell if Tali was mocking her, but considering the manner in which she had come to her rescue it seemed unlikely and she offered a shy smile. "No, I do not. How could you tell?"

"Quarians are very adept at reading body language. It's necessary when you grow up in an environment where everyone around has their face covered. Sometimes, depending on race, it's difficult to tell what a person is thinking or feeling. With you though, it's like reading a thermal scan on an overloaded energy matrix. You, my friend, are terrified."

Liara cautioned a glance at the nearest table, quickly looking away from a young marine who sat there, openly staring at her. "I am… unaccustomed to crowds, Tali."

Tali followed the direction of Liara's gaze and catching sight of the marine, turned. "Stop staring Chase, you bosh'tet!"

The young female blushed several shades of crimson and mumbled a hasty apology before rapidly leaving.

"That will stop eventually." Tali offered. "I think everyone is simply curious about you."

"Why?" An edge of bitterness crept into Liara's voice. "Because I am Benezia's daughter?" She grabbed her fork and stabbed her food. The cook had assured her the substance was eggs, but she harbored serious doubts.

"No, because rumor has it you knew the Commander when she was a child."

Surprised by Tali's directness Liara coughed around the bite of food, trying not to choke. "She was not a child when we met; she was what is referred to in human terms as a teenager." She paused to sip her juice. "So was I, relatively speaking."

Tali leaned forward tapping her fingertips together, the crescents of her eyes shining through her mask. "Oooh. Do tell!"

Liara placed her fork back on the tray and gently wiped her mouth. "I am not certain that is a good idea."

"Oh come on, Liara! Everyone wants to know what the 'Great Commander Shepard" was like as a teenager!" She mimed quotes and leaned forward, voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. "Half the crew has a secret crush on her!"

Liara's eyes widened in alarm. "She is the first human Spectre and the Commander; why would the crew secretly want to crush her? Has she done something wrong?"

"No, no." Tali snickered. "They have a crush _on_ her."

To Liara, this sounded little better. "They want to crush _on _her with what?"

"Keelah! It means they are secretly _attracted_ to her!"

"Oh!" Liara paused, coloring. In the back of her mind she could hear her mother's voice reinforcing the rules of social interaction. Redirect and diffuse. "And to which half of the crew do you belong?"

Nonplussed, Tali replied. "I confess I am a bit of an admirer, but she's not really my type. I prefer someone more, um..approachable."

"And you do not find her so?" Liara was surprised. With the exception of Dr. Chakwas, Shepard was the friendliest and kindest human she had ever met, especially compared to the rest of the human crew she had encountered. Granted she had not come to visit her in the infirmary as she had promised. In fact, she had not spoken to her at all since she left the debriefing two days prior. Liara knew she was partially to blame.

Their situation was…complicated. Jane wasn't just an Alliance officer, she was the first human spectre and she was tasked with apprehending Saren Arterius as well as her own mother. Judging from the way the Gunnery Chief had scorned her, and the distrustful looks she had received from many others, Liara had felt it best to keep her distance and maintain a degree of professionalism while they were among the rest of the crew. Still, she had expected that Jane would be as happy to see her as she had been to see Jane and as eager to talk. As the days past, however, she was certain that Jane must think the worst of her, and it left her feeling bruised and sore. In the life of an asari, thirteen years was a blink, but they had been thirteen years spent harboring her own 'secret crush' on the young human. All Liara had to do was close her eyes and she could feel the soft strands of Jane's hair falling through her fingers or the gentle give of Jane's lips under hers…

A gloved hand waved in front of her face. "Normandy to Liara!"

A slow flush crept up Liara's neck. "I…I am sorry. You were saying?"

"What was the Commander like when you met her?"

Liara's memory of her time with Jane was like a special trinket, so often taken out and admired she knew every second of the time they had spent together as well as she knew her own skin, and it was not easily shared. "I do not recall exactly." She lied smoothly. "It was a long time ago. But please, tell me what you meant about the Commander being unapproachable? I…I have not spoken with her since I came aboard."

"I'm not surprised; she's not known for making casual conversation. Don't get me wrong, Shepard is a good leader and not unkind. She saved me on the Citadel, and invited me to complete my pilgrimage aboard the Normandy when most people in the galaxy wouldn't look twice at a 'suit rat'. But she is distant and…"

"Who's distant?"

Both quarian and asari froze as Ashley dropped her tray onto the table and sat down.

Liara watched Ashley from the corner of her eye and began kneading her napkin between her fingers. The Gunnery Chief had been very clear in her dislike of Liara from the moment Shepard had freed her from the prothean containment field. When neither she nor Tali responded to her question the silence stretched out uncomfortably.

Ashley held up her palm. "Okay, I get it, private conversation." She stared at Liara for a moment as if uncertain, before heaving a sigh and sinking back against the chair. "Dr. T'Soni, I owe you an apology." She cast a cautious glance at Tali. "Actually, I owe you both an apology."

Liara looked to Tali for assistance but the quarian merely shrugged. At a loss for the appropriate response, she turned back to Ashley. "I an sorry but I do not understand…"

Ashley's eyes crinkled in a genuine smile that transformed the typically hard lines of her face. It was the first real smile Liara had seen from the human.

"Jeez, T'Soni, that's what I came here to say to you, not the other way around." Her smile faded as she lifted her mug and blew the steam from her coffee. " I've been beyond rude to both of you and I want to apologize. I'm not used to a…mixed crew, too long in the Alliance I guess. " She smiled sheepishly. "But after talking with the Commander, I've had a chance to rethink my views. She made me realize how unfair I was being."

"Wait." Tali held up a gloved hand. "You talked to the Commander? When?"

"Right after the debrief." Ashley clutched her mug against her chest and leaned forward to whisper. "I was terrified!"

"I can only imagine!" Tali whispered back. "I have not been brave enough to attempt speaking with her about anything other than the ship, or engineering since we left the Citadel!"

Liara looked from Tali to Ashley, her expression confused. "Why would either of you be afraid to talk to Ja…Commander Shepard?"

They both looked at her as if her crests suddenly stood straight out. Ashley huffed and waved a dismissive hand in her direction. "Of course you're not intimidated by her; she thinks you're like, the bees knees or something."

When Liara's look of confusion remained, Tali explained. "It is a human term, one I am familiar with thanks to the engineering crew. It means she thinks you are of high quality." Tali cocked her head to one side. "Hmm. Interesting."

Liara looked down at the crumpled napkin in her hand. "I am certain you are mistaken. She has not even spoken to me since I arrived."

"Are you sure you're a hundred and six?" Ashley said. "Didn't you see the look on her face when she leaped to catch you from that prothean energy sphere thingy?"

"Well yes." Liara stammered, coloring from the memory of Jane's arms wrapping around her and pulling her close. "But I fear her reaction was simply the momentary result of seeing each other again after such a long time. Perhaps before she realized she had welcomed the daughter of a..a traitor aboard her vessel."

"No way, Doc. Shepard would never assume you were guilty of any wrongdoing simply because of your mom. My family history isn't so great either and it always held me back until Shepard came along and added me to the Normandy's roster. She took a chance on me when no one else would." Ashley lifted her shoulders. "Besides, she trusts you. She told me so herself. Even the LT said her eyes lit up when she looked at you."

"_Very _interesting." Tali added.

Liara's head spun with confusion. Did Jane have ocular implants? "But if that is the case then why has she avoided me?"

"That's what I've been saying, Liara. Shepard avoids everyone." Tali said.

Ashley nodded. "Yeah, she does. Come to think of it, the only time she seems to relax at all is on the ground or when bullets are flying. She actually laughed a time or two on Therum." Ashley gave her an appraising look. "Speaking of bullets, can you handle a gun?"

Liara nodded absently. "Yes, I trained with my mother's commandos for many years; I am proficient with many weapons but prefer to utilize my biotics."

"Good. The Commander will no doubt want you ground side at some point for your biotic skills, but I'll ready a pistol for you in the armory; it never hurts to have back up."

Liara rose abruptly and gathered her tray. "I..I should go. You've both given me a great deal to think about. And thank you for the apology, Chief Williams, though it was not necessary. I understand how daunting it can be to encounter new races and cultures. Jane…Shepard was the first human I ever actually had the opportunity to sit down and talk to for any length of time. She helped me to understand that not all humans are, well… bullies."

"Heeey." Tali looked up at her. "I thought you said you didn't 'really recall' meeting her?"

Liara blushed. "Yes, well..I may have not been entirely honest with you about that. Now if you will excuse me?"

As Liara hurried away to recycle her tray, she heard Tali's plaintive call behind her. "I expect details later, Doctor! Deeeetails!"

* * *

After describing her observations of the Normandy's crew to Dr. Chakwas, the doctor had kindly volunteered the small lab situated at the rear of the medical bay for Liara's personal use during her stay. It was to this room she quickly retreated following her unexpected and confusing conversation with Tali and Chief Williams.

Feeling as empty as the void, she went to her footlocker and pulled out Shepard's old hoodie. Clutching the shirt to her chest, she dropped onto the nearby cot, falling back against it's surface to stare up at the ceiling.

She missed Jane. It was the first time since her arrival she had allowed herself to admit it, to even think it. Yet the ache was there, undeniable for all it's impracticality.

She sighed heavily, sinking farther into the curve of the bed. Tears welled in her eyes but she blinked them back, determined to maintain the stranglehold she had kept on her emotions since she arrived. She was being absurd; she had spent thirteen years apart from Jane and had done well enough…if one did not take into account that not a single solar day had passed in which she had not thought of her.

Leaving Jane at Arcturus had been like severing a limb; whether she willed it or not she had left a part of herself behind. She had cauterized the wound with long hours of work. The hours had swiftly turned to days and months had merged into years. A few times over the years she had been sorely tempted to seek Jane out, but what would she have said? _I miss you?…Come to me? _Or her personal favorite, to be delivered while wearing an impish smile: _Mission achieved, soldier! Asari live for a thousand years and you managed to steal my heart in a matter of hours! _Warmth flooded her cheeks and she buried her face in the shirt. Goddess, she was hopeless. The situation had been hopeless. Liara had been landlocked and Jane star bound.

In the end, she had settled for random extranet searches during her rare trips to Thessia or Illium, but there was scant information to be found on an average human teen…_as if Jane was _ever _average!…_ and after she enlisted, all information concerning her was classified. Once, Liara had stumbled across a news feed from the Verge; batarian pirates and warlords had attacked the human colony of Elysium. Shamefully, she had thought little of it until much later, when she found out Alliance soldiers on holiday there had rallied together, forming ground teams to mount a defense. After hours of vicious combat, the defensive line was breached, but against overwhelming odds a single soldier had miraculously managed to hold off the enemy until reinforcements arrived saving hundreds of civilian colonists. The stark terror Liara had felt when she discovered that last soldier was Jane had made her violently physically ill. Afterward, she had laughed at herself through tears of relief, chuckling because the news feed was old and Jane was no longer in danger. Then she had been sick again as she realized the life of a soldier is fraught with danger and for the duration of her military career, Jane would routinely be thrust into harm's way.

Staring up at the halo of lights in the ceiling, Liara struggled to reconcile her past with the present, a frustrating endeavor. She had resigned herself to never seeing Jane again. She had accepted their separation, accepted the lingering phantom pain of her loss as inevitable, something to be dealt with because it would never fully abate. Nor had she wanted it to. The bittersweet ache served as a constant reminder that Jane was exactly where she was meant to be, following her dreams among the stars while she followed Shepard's advice and forged her own path, turning aside her mother's goals to study relics from the past. Yet defying all logic and odds, their paths had crossed again, and here she was…on Jane's ship no less.

And Jane…while the Jane of her memories was still a teen girl, roguishly cute and endearingly sweet, Jane now…_Goddess._ Liara's heart betrayed her as it began thudding painfully against her ribs. Jane now was magnificent. Remnants of the young woman she had been lingered, of course. Her hair was still unruly and mildly over long, her freckles were a bit faded. Her crooked smile was exactly the same, and her eyes the same lively green. And Goddess, those lips… Liara absently traced the outline of her own lips with the sleeve of Shepard's hoodie.

Yes, she missed her desperately and knowing she was nearby only made the longing to be close to her more intense, and the question she had been ignoring more painful.

Why was Jane avoiding her?

If, as Chief Williams insisted, Jane trusted her and was not concerned about her allegiance, then _why_ was she staying away? Was it her? She knew she had changed, but for a shining moment when Jane had rescued her, it was as if the years between them had fallen away and Liara had thought everything between them would be the same. The corner of her mouth tugged up at the recollection; Jane's hand still fit hers perfectly. But reality and uncertainty had swiftly set in. Overcome with fatigue, and more than a little intimidated by the situation, and the Gunnery Chief she admitted, she had let go of Jane's hand.

A sudden ominous and dreadful thought hit her and she jolted upright. Goddess, what if Jane was in a relationship with someone else? She fought back a spike of jealousy as she recalled Tali's admission that half the crew was attracted to her; Goddess, how could they not be? Liara's shoulders slumped as her mind began racing with thoughts of Jane holding the hand of another, while kissing them, or….

"No." She shook her head to clear it of lingering thoughts and doubt. She was falling victim to poor procedure, formulating a theory in the absence of a correlating data set. Ascertaining why Jane was avoiding her with any degree of certainty would require a more thoughtful and logical approach. She would need to identify and research all the variables, extrapolate data and… She smiled as her eyes fell on the amber glow of the lab terminal. Goddess Athame yes, she could _do _research.

Slipping her arms into the comforting warmth of the hoodie; she crossed the room, sat down at the terminal, and got to work.


	4. Chapter 4

"Commander, do you have a moment?"

Shepard stiffened momentarily until the feminine timbre of an English accent registered. She bit off the sharp reprimand burning the tip of her tongue as her eyes traveled up the ramp to light on Dr. Chakwas. _Damn. _For the past several days she had chosen to work from the deeply situated communication room because no one ever came here, yet Dr. Chakwas seemed able to find her no matter where she was. "How long have you been there, Doc?"

The doctor leaned casually against the walkway railing, arms crossed over her chest, wearing a bemused expression. "Long enough to know something is troubling you."

Frowning, Shepard said nothing, hoping her silence would dissuade the doctor from disturbing her further.

Dr. Chakwas simply stared back at her with smiling eyes, somehow managing to look maternal, condescending, and kind at the same time.

"Did you know you tug on your bottom lip when you're worried?"

Jane's hand froze inches away from her mouth. She looked at it briefly, as if surprised to find it there, before shoving it into her lap, earning her a soft chuckle from the other side of the room.

"Oh come now, Commander, it isn't everyday one can sneak up on you; it's obvious something is wrong." Pushing herself off the railing, Chakwas walked down the gradual decline to where Shepard sprawled in one of the comm room's plush chairs. A narrow furrow appeared between her brows as she drew closer. "You're still having headaches."

"No, I'm f…"

Chakwas cut her off with a wave of her hand. "Don't even bother, Shepard. You're a terrible liar."

Shepard gave a surly grunt. _So much for not being disturbed._ And she wasn't exactly lying. She wasn't having plural headaches, she was having _a_ headache. The same one she'd had since encountering the prothean beacon on Eden Prime. Though the intensity of the pain waxed and waned it was always present, right along with the macabre and confusing images the beacon had shown her. Currently, the ache was akin to having her brain flossed with razor wire and she was not in the mood to discuss it.

Ignoring all the nonverbal cues Jane was sending that made most people turn the other direction, Dr. Chakwas grasped Jane's face in her hands. "How bad is it?" Tilting her chin up, she pulled a micro-light from her pocket, first shining it one eye and then the other.

"It's…it's bad." Shepard winced and pulled back, squinting and blinking. "That doesn't help." She swiped a hand over her eyes. "Meds don't help either."

"No, but a good night of sleep likely would." Chakwas said, tucking the slim device back into her pocket.

Shepard placed her data pad on a nearby console and looked up at the doctor, her expression flat and her voice hard. She really wasn't in the mood for this. "What do you need, Doc?"

Chakwas's brows shot up. "Oh, we're going to play it that way, are we? You don't intimidate me, dear. Stop trying already."

Shepard slouched back into the chair in defeat, her lips twisting in a wry smile as she slid her fingers together and rested her palms against her midriff. "Yeah, I know; I've just never been able to figure out _why _I don't intimidate you. It's not for lack of trying."

"I'm well aware of that, thank you very much." Chakwas said, mirth softening her eyes. "When you've served under as many commanders as I have, Shepard, you learn to brush aside all the effrontery; it generally just gets in the way. It's too difficult for me to switch back and forth between being a subordinate and a physician so I don't. I simply prefer to be a very respectful doctor." She leaned forward as if to share a secret. "Besides, when you've seen everyone on board naked and consequently absent insignia, rank becomes a bit less important." She straightened, smiling briefly before adopting a more serious expression. "But as fascinating a topic as nudity is, that's not what I've come to discuss. I've come to make a request."

Shepard looked up at her from the chair. "Sure. What do you need?"

"I need you to please refrain from entering the medical bay while cloaked."

Shepard quickly masked her surprise with a scowl. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't be cheeky. It's been two nights in a row now; enough is enough. If you wish to visit Dr. T'Soni in a more visible state I am certain she would welcome your attention. She speaks of you fondly."

A wave of guilt washed over her. "Does she know?"

"No, of course not. I'm certainly not going to mention it, but thank the heavens she is a heavy sleeper! Were it not for your dreadful snoring I would have stepped on you last night which would have been embarrassing for all of us."

Shepard scowled. "I don't snore!"

"No, you likely do not, not when you are sleeping in your bed instead of on the floor, at any rate." Dr. Chakwas sighed and her voice softened. "I won't pretend to understand what is going on but several things are clear. As the Commanding officer, it is imperative for you to be clear headed and combat ready. If you continue like this, you will place yourself and your squad at unnecessarily increased risk…"

Jane's eyes whipped up, hard and angry. "You go too far."

"No Commander, I do not; I am simply doing what is required. You have been hiding in this room since we left Therum and you are not getting nearly enough sleep. Neither is acceptable." Dr. Chakwas's eyes met hers squarely. Her gaze was direct, but not unkind. "Go talk to her."

Frustrated and angry, Jane jumped to her feet. The sudden motion sent daggers of pain lancing through her skull. Grimacing, she clamped her thumb and index finger over the bridge of her nose and screwed her eyes shut, waiting for the pain to recede. "Do not fucking lecture me!"

"Then don't put me in a position that requires it!" Dr. Chakwas snapped.

As the maniacal stabbing in her head faded to a familiar diffuse pounding her eyes fluttered open.

"Are you all right?" Dr. Chakwas asked softly, her eyes dark with concern.

Too angry to speak, she nodded and forced herself to take a deep, calming breath in an effort to dampen the exhaustion fueled anger in her gut. She tried to recall the last time she'd slept for more than an hour or two and couldn't. The images from the beacon made sleep nearly impossible and Liara's presence only complicated matters.

"I respect your right to privacy, Commander, even if I don't understand your motivations but in this instance, you're mistaken."

Jane flinched but did not pull away as the doctor's hand gently settled on her shoulder.

"I've had to set up quarters for Liara in the med-bay lab."

Jane's head popped up. "The lab? Why the lab?"

"Some of the crew… I don't know who and she didn't specify, but some of the crew have been giving Liara quite a hard time, Commander. I didn't feel comfortable assigning her to the crew's sleeping quarters."

Eyes blazing, Jane tried to turn and leave but the doctor's hand clamped down to restrain her. Her grip was firm, though her eyes remained implacable and calm.

"Let me go." Shepard struggled to keep her voice level, shaking with the effort to restrain herself from shoving Dr. Chakwas aside. She knew all too well how asari were often treated by others, the types of assumptions that were made. A wave of red flooded her vision at the thought of anyone on her ship saying anything inappropriate to Liara. "If anyone has fucking hurt her, I'll…"

"No one has hurt her!" Chakwas's eyes searched her face and she scowled apparently unhappy with what she saw. "Stop this and calm down; you're only going to make your headache worse. "

Jane crossed her arms across her chest and stilled. "Tell me."

Satisfied Shepard wouldn't charge from the room, Dr. Chakwas removed her hand from her shoulder and took a small step back. "When the crew looks at Liara, Commander, they don't see a brilliant young prothean expert; what they see is the daughter of Saren's co-conspirator."

"She is _not _with Saren or Benezia!" Jane hissed through clenched teeth.

"Of course she isn't." Chakwas agreed. " But where you lead, Commander, your crew follows."

Shepard glowered. "Explain."

"Rumor all over the ship is that you and Liara have a past history, yet it is obvious to everyone that you have not visited or spoken with her since she's been on board. Quite frankly Commander, it raises suspicion."

"Christ, she's only been on the ship for three days! How could not talking to her make anyone suspicious of anything?"

"Because for three days you've been avoiding everyone more than usual, but most especially and obviously Dr. T'Soni! Commander, we all know you're not generally the small talk type, but you are always present, always available. Half the crew fears you and the other half practically worships you but _all_ respect you and take their cues from the examples you set. Why do you think no one gives Garrus a hard time? Or Tali? It's because you've demonstrated through your actions they are people worthy of respect. When you fail to extend the same treatment to Liara, whose mother is tied to a recent attack on a human colony no less, it gives the impression you do not trust her and if you don't trust her, the crew won't. What they _will_ do is fill in the blanks you are leaving empty with speculation. Liara can tell few trust or even like her; she barely leaves her room." She threw up her hands. "The crew hasn't accepted her yet Shepard because _you _haven't."

Cheeks burning with shame, Jane twisted away, clenching her fists until the bite of her nails stung her palms. How could she have been such a fool? Chakwas was right; she was handling everything wrong and Liara was suffering for it. The crew wasn't hurting Liara, _she was. _She'd find a way to fix it. Pivoting on her heel, she headed up the ramp for the exit.

"A simple public display of confidence will go a long way to smooth things over, Shepard." Chakwas sternly called after her "I don't want to see any injuries arriving in the med bay!"

Shepard paused at the door. _Public…public is good. _She could do this. "I'll be good." She called over her shoulder.

She almost made it around the corner before a sudden thought ground her to a halt. She turned back, reaching for the door panel just as for Dr. Chakwas was exiting. The medical officer looked surprised to see her again so soon.

"If you knew I was in the med-bay the second time because I was snoring, how did you know I was there the first time?"

A smile played across the doctor's lips. "A good physician never reveals her secrets, Commander."

"Aw, c'mon, doc! Besides, isn't it 'a good _magician _never reveals their secrets'?"

"Potato, potahto." Chakwas flicked her hand and shook her head. "No, not today, though if you are very good I may tell you over a glass of brandy sometime."

"It's a deal." Jane paused, lingering in the doorway as she struggled to find the words she wanted to say. She had spent a long time cultivating the ability to keep others at a distance. Few barreled their way into her personal head space with the alacrity her CMO had just displayed, and she appreciated it. "Thank you, Dr. Chakwas."

The doctor looked both pleased and surprised. "It was my pleasure. Not many go toe to toe with the great Commander Shepard and walk away unscathed. Now if you'll excuse me, I feel the sudden urge to carve a notch in my medical scanner to commemorate the experience."


	5. Chapter 5

Shepard paced the CIC, traveling in slow circles around the galaxy map. She could feel the eyes of the command deck crew on her periodically, though none interrupted her. The purpose of her repetitive circuits was twofold. If there was any anti-alien chitchat on board, or more specifically anti-Liara chatter, she would likely catch wind of it in the idle back and forth banter of the crew. So far she had heard nothing concerning, just casual conversations about family, shore leave, and loved ones. All the things she did not want to hear because knowing Grenado's wife was expecting their first child or that Lowe's nephew was enlisting in a few months made the crew more real and too easy to become emotionally invested in. She felt herself scowling and forced her facial muscles to relax.

The second reason she paced was that the constant motion provided a temporary distraction from the pain in her head and made it easier to think, and she desperately needed to think of an idea to engage Liara without having to meet her in the lab. She shuddered at the thought. The lab was too private, too…intimate. That was all well and good when she was cloaked, but not so great otherwise. The thought of being alone with Liara was both starkly terrifying and eminently tempting. She knew exactly how it would play out. She would be stare awkwardly and mumble something foolish; Liara would be poised and clever. She would forget to ask her about the past thirteen years, too distracted by imaging her hands and lips against Liara's naked skin. Liara would ask her questions about her military career, and under no circumstances was Jane going to drag her into _that_ spiraling abyss of shame and regret. Her heart squeezed painfully inside her chest as she imagined Liara's disappointment, her revulsion. Shepard shook her head to clear it. No, alone time was definitely off the table. Besides, the point of this endeavor was to get Liara _out _of the lab.

As she reached the CO's station, Ashley cautiously approached, moving into step beside her. "Hey Skipper. Since we're still several days out from Noveria, I was thinking I'd cordon off the rear section of the cargo hold for target practice. It never hurts to keep skills sharp between missions, ma'am. Garrus and Wrex both think it's a good idea."

Shepard stopped short. "That's perfect." _We'll be out in the open with others around…it's task oriented so no small talk…_

"Ma'am?"

Shepard turned to the Gunnery Chief and enthusiastically grasped her upper arms. "Hells yes, Chief! That's a great idea!" She released her grip on Ashley to check her chrono. "Go ahead and get it set up and I'll meet you there in…" Ashley's last words finally reached her and she looked up from her chrono. Ashley would have had to talk with her non-human crew mates to know of their interest in the project. It was a step in the right direction, and a good one."Well played, Ash."

Ashley colored as she massaged her arms. "That's a hell of a grip you've got there, Skipper."

Shepard laughed, the sound drawing raised brows from around the deck. "Come on, Chief. I'll help you set up."

* * *

With the help of Alenko's biotics and Wrex's brute strength, they managed to create a passable range in the rear section of the hold by creating a bulkhead and sidewalls with stacked rows of bulky metal crates. The practice rounds they would be using posed no threat to the integrity of the hull, but because of the limited space in which they were forced to work Shepard wanted to ensure no rounds escaped. Dr. Chakwas would give her no end of grief if anyone arrived at her doorstep injured by a stray round.

Tali contributed to the project with a clever omni-tool mod that created a target drone. Not only did the drone provide a mobile target with an adjustable size, but when fired upon, it fed information directly back to the shooter's omni regarding shot spacing and projected speed and depth of impact for various weapon and round types.

When the final crate was shifted into place, the group stood admiring their handiwork. The only thing missing was Liara.

"Go ahead and get everyone set up with rounds, Chief. I'll be right back."

Shepard took the elevator to the crew deck, making a quick stop by her locker before heading up the stairs to the CIC. She approached the intercom and leaned down, toggling the button with a trembling index finger.

"Dr. T'Soni?" Jane made certain to speak loudly enough that her voice carried across the room.

"_Yes Commander?_"

Sweet Christ, even through the comm, which Jane had always though made everyone sound a bit like a salarian, Liara's voice was mesmerizing. She could think of several scenarios in which she would like to hear those words from Liara. None of them involved guns. _Fuck Shepard, what are you? Twelve?_ _Pull it together. _"Will you meet me in the cargo hold in five minutes for weapons training?"

There was a slight hesitation. "_Certainly Commander. I'll be right there._"

As she straightened, she saw several sets of eyes leap back to their stations and forced back a smile. She could have contacted Liara from anywhere on the ship, but by coming here to do it she ensured that everyone on board would know about it within minutes. Gossip aboard military vessels traveled faster than scale-itch.

She spent the next several minutes repeatedly checking her chrono and pretending to randomly search through reports on her terminal, too worried if she left immediately for the elevator she and Liara might end up inadvertently sharing a ride down to the cargo deck. When she was satisfied enough time had passed, she pushed away from the terminal, the movement drawing the attention of the XO. She gave him a nod. "Pressly, I'll be in the cargo hold if you need me."

As the elevator sank slowly downward, Shepard attempted to alleviate the growing tightness in her shoulders by stretching her arms and neck. It was no use; she was wound as tight as a drum. She needed a sound tactical strategy to define the appropriate degree of contact with Liara that kept Liara content and convinced the rest of the crew she had Jane's complete trust while simultaneously not driving herself to the brink of insanity.

It wouldn't be enough to just be present. She was the butcher of goddamn Torfan, but even she wasn't cruel enough to blatantly ignore Liara after having just requested her presence. No, she would need to stay professional, but not aloof or unconcerned. She winced when she realized the balance between professionalism and distance was a pretty damn close approximation to 'friendly'. She had no idea how to navigate the strange constellations of friendliness. Her usual tactic was to not give a damn, clearly not an option this time because she did, in fact, give a damn. She scrubbed her hand across her face. What the hell was she going to do? Friendly was problematic. Friendly came with all sorts of complicating factors. Factors like conversation and being in the same room.

She began to panic when the elevator came to a stop and the door began to lift. She didn't have a plan. Her fingers twitched at her side but she stilled them. She would not cloak. She would not flee. She would do this…whatever 'this' turned out to be…for Liara. She was the reason Liara was here, and it was her fault suspicions regarding Liara's intent were allowed to fester. She had asked Liara to stay, dammit, and she had said yes without hesitation.

The ringing of her boots against the metal floor of the cargo bay was drowned out by the intermittent snap of gunfire, and she approached unnoticed. Wrex sat on a low crate cradling a vicious shotgun in his arm while Tali stood nearby working on his omni-tool. Garrus was positioned at the entrance to the firing alley, his technique flawless as he sent rounds down range to a stationary glowing orb. At the weapons bench Liara and Ashley stood angled away from her, engaged in an animated conversation over several pistols in varying stages of assembly.

Steeling herself, she slowly approached the bench. "Is everyone outfitted, Chief?"

Two pairs of eyes turned toward her, but she could only see Liara's. The cargo bay melted away and she was sixteen again, flustered, fascinated, and not fully understanding why once glance or light touch from the asari made her heart race. Her body's responses were still the same, though more informed, and her pulse hammered at the implications.

"Everyone except for the doc, here." Ashley replied. "I was just getting ready to fit her."

Shepard couldn't peel her eyes away from Liara, who stared guilelessly back at her. She was torn between rushing to the asari's side or running like hell, but her feet were stuck, firmly locked in place by an unwavering blue gaze that frightened and delighted her in equal measure.

Shepard jerked, startled as a light tap on her arm yanked her firmly back to reality. She tore her eyes away, but not before catching the hint of a smile that tugged at the corners of Liara's mouth. "Sorry. What were you saying, Ash?

"Are you okay, Commander?"

"Yeah, I'm good." The words rushed from her mouth. " Are we all set?"

Ashley gave a doubtful slight shake of her head and turned back to the weapons bench. "I was just saying I've got everyone geared up except for T'Soni. We're trying to find the right weapon for her."

Shepard stepped up to the bench and rifled through the selection of pistols on the table, taking a few seconds longer than necessary as she waited for the room to tilt back on its proper axis.

"I carry a Kessler V, but I was thinking something from Elkoss-Combine for Dr. T'Soni; the trigger weight is a bit more forgiving." Ashley said.

"A Kessler's okay for a back up, but a pistol will be Liara's primary weapon, Chief and the EC's grip is too wide. Liara's hands are slender..long fingers, narrow palms." At Ashley's knowing smirk, Shepard colored. "I've got just the thing, I think." She unclipped her own pistol and laid it on the bench.

"Shut. Up." Ashley blurted. Her eyes grew large and her hand flew to her mouth. "Shit. Sorry Commander! But that's a…"

"Yeah, it's a Spectre Master pistol." Shepard knew that Liara would be assigned to the ground team at some point and while she was certain her biotics were solid, there was no way she was sending her out into the field without the best protection possible.

"I'm not sure if I can fit that, Commander." Ashley said.

Shepard waved Liara over to her as she picked up the pistol. "That's okay, Chief. I've got it." _I hope. _Shepard had always had an affinity for weapons. She found them oddly calming which helped tremendously as Liara moved closer.

She turned to Liara. "This is a a prototype weapon from Spectre requisitions." She placed the pistol on the bench and began breaking it down. "It's a beautiful weapon. The rate of fire is slower than standard issue pistols, but it more than makes up for it in power." She lifted the barrel as she removed it. "The scram rail is a fantastic upgrade for _me_; it increases damage per round but the trade off is that it also increases the likelihood of the weapon overheating. Because this will be your primary weapon, we can't risk that. You'll get the standard barrel, but I'm going to add a recoil dampener…"

"You don't think she's be better with a heat sink?" Ashley said.

"If she wasn't a biotic sure, but it's more important in a biotic to eliminate physical stress. With the recoil dampener she'll get less kick and more accuracy. If her technique is good, she'll fire fewer shots with less fatigue. The heat sink would just add weight without really adding any benefit."

Deftly reassembling the newly configured weapon, she held it out to Liara. "Go ahead and grip it."

Liara took the weapon in her hand and aimed down the barrel at the rear wall. "It is much lighter than I expected."

"It'll get heavier during a firefight." Shepard studied Liara's grip. Reaching out, she slid her hand over Liara's hazarding a sideways glance at her when she felt the asari tense. "Okay?"

Liara gave a quick affirmative nod.

Shepard wrapped her hand around Liara's and pulled the pistol firmly back against the webbing between her thumb and index finger. "You want to make sure it stays nestled right here. Even with the recoil dampener, she'll kick more than you're used to. If you let her slide forward, the energy from the recoil is transferred into the base of your thumb instead of down your arm and you'll have a very sore hand." She took the pistol from Liara's hand and returned it to the table to adjust the grip.

"She?" Liara said. "Your pistol has a gender?"

Shepard smiled. "It's not my pistol, it's yours and yes..all my guns are girls."

Ashley laughed. "Mine are all male. Rodney's my favorite; he's my assault rifle."

Liara eyed them both. "You name your weapons? Is that a human custom?"

"I don't know if it's strictly a human custom, but a lot of soldiers do it. Your weapon can be your fiercest ally." Shepard finished adjusting the grip and handed the pistol back to Liara.

"Does this pistol have a name?"

Heat bloomed in Shepard's cheeks as she once again showed Liara the correct way to position the pistol. "Um, well…" She hedged.

Ashley frowned. "Come on, Commander. I told you mine!"

"Like I said, it's not mine anymore. She'll need a new name."

"No fair, ma'am!"

Shepard cocked one eyebrow at Ashley. "I'm not exactly known for being fair, now am I, Chief?" She stepped away from Liara, instantly noticing the absence of her warmth and then mentally kicked herself for noticing. "Shall we go try her out?"

At Liara's nod, the trio joined Wrex and Tali, who was just putting the finishing touches on Wrex's omni-tool upgrade.

"Hey Doc." Wrex looked at Liara, his current position putting them nearly at eye level. "It's about time you made it out of that damn lab. Spending too much time with sick people will make you weak."

Liara smiled. "It is good to see you too, Wrexm and I have not been tending sick people; I have been going through my old research for information on the conduit."

"Any luck?" Shepard asked.

Liara shook her head. "No. Unfortunately I haven't found anything, though I will keep searching. Commander, I.."

Her words were interrupted by Garrus's arrival as the tall turian sauntered over. He hitched his sniper rifle against his shoulder and eyed Shepard. "Shepard. I'm aware that as the first human Spectre you're kind of a big deal, but in my experience, people who are a big deal often lack one important trait… humility."

Shepard snorted. "Vakarian, you are the least humble person I've ever met."

He clicked his mandibles in a tsk. "I see your sudden rise to the upper echelons is already clouding your judgment. Fortunately, I'm here to help." He swept an arm toward the range. "For today only I'm offering free lessons in humility, though I'll understand if you're not up for it."

The sharp bark of Wrex's laughter echoed through the bay as Shepard looked the lanky C-Sec agent up and down. "Come on Vakarian, you know no one likes to see a turian cry."

Garrus's mandibles flared as he gave her a low mocking bow. "I'm _humbled _by your concern for my emotional well being Shepard, but you don't have to worry. No one has ever seen this turian cry; I don't lose."

"Oh snap! Let me get you a rifle, Commander." Ashley sprinted away in the direction of the lockers.

Looking more than a little confused, Liara tilted her head toward Tali. "Is it common for the Commander and Garrus to exchange insults like this? Do they not like each other?

"They like each other fine." Tali replied with a shrug. "They aren't insults..exactly. You have to ignore what they're saying to hear what is really being said."

"That makes no sense, Tali."

Tali laughed. "Sure it does. Garrus just challenged the commander to a shooting contest and the commander accepted." She gave Liara's arm a reassuring pat. "Don't worry, you'll get used to it."

Liara looked doubtful as Shepard stepped with Garrus to the front of the firing lane. "Conditions?"

"Best of ten with mobile drones." Garrus's omni-tool glowed to life as he tapped the haptic input. "This size should be easy enough. I don't want to embarrass you _too_ badly." A glowing orange ball the size of a large marble appeared at the far end of the lane and began a random pattern of zig-zag motions.

"No way!" Tali said. "How can you even see that?"

"That's what the scope is for, Tali." Ashley said as she jogged forward and pressed a rifle into Shepard's hands. Leaning in close she whispered. "His name is Rex…but don't let Wrex find out; he'll never let me live it down." Straightening, she gave Shepard a firm slap on the shoulder. "Don't let us down, ma'am."

She rejoined the the rest of the group, who now stood several paces behind Shepard and Garrus for a better view of the action.

"Can she do it, Ashley?" Tali asked. "The targets are so _tiny._"

"Watch and learn, Tali. Watch and learn." Ashley replied. "I've seen the Commander in action. Garrus is good, but Shepard is in a league of her own."

Jane adjusted the rifle's scope and sent her own blue drone to hover alongside Garrus's. "Ready Vakarian?"

"Whenever you are, Shepard."

"Oh just go already!" Tali whined. "The suspense is killing me!"

They began. The competition was fierce and involved a great deal of cheering and jeering from spectators and contestants alike. After tying the first round they agreed to go for best two out of three. When three rounds failed to produce a winner they completed a tie breaker round, reducing the targets to miniature orbs. When Garrus missed a shot, the crowd hissed, convinced Shepard had the contest clenched until she missed the final target.

"No more, please!" Tali said, her voice trilling through her hands. "I can't take it! You both win!"

Smiling, Shepard and Garrus shook hands. "I guess I'll have to settle for making you cry another day, Garrus."

Garrus's mandibles quivered, the turian equivalent of a chuckle. "That's not going to happen, though I admit, I may have been sweating there at the end. A very little bit."

Shepard turned to find Liara staring at her. Ignoring the sudden incessant pounding of her heart, Shepard walked toward her, handing the borrowed rifle back to Ashley with a mumbled thanks. "Um, are you ready to have a go, Liara?"

"Y..yes, Commander."

Tali hadn't had the opportunity to upgrade Liara's omni-tool so Shepard pulled up her own, creating a large, still target for the asari that floated in the depths of the firing lane. "Alright, T'Soni. Let's see what you can do."

Liara stepped forward and raised the pistol. Her first two shots sailed wide, hitting the rear crates with a sharp ting, but the drone flickered as her third hit its mark.

"Hold up." Stepping closer she slid her hands over Liara's and made a slight adjustment to her grip. Her breathing hitched when she felt a faint tremor run through Liara's hands. "Your, uh, grip looks great..just keep your hands a little higher and remember to squeeze the trigger… don't pull or the gun will jerk and throw off your aim."

"Okay Commander."

Jane blew out a deep sigh. "Liara, please…at least call me Shepard. I..I" When she felt the light fluttering of Liara's hands under hers she looked down and realized she still held them. She quickly let go and stepped back. "Try it again now. Remember, just squeeze, okay? "

Behind Shepard and Liara, well out of earshot, Tali nudged Ashley in the ribs with her elbow. "I thought Liara said she trained with commandos? Shouldn't she already know this stuff?"

Ashley had been watching Liara closely since the Commander arrived. The asari's eyes tended to follow Shepard wherever she went. When Liara had first arrived in the cargo hold she had looked over the group and wilted, but as soon as Shepard showed up, she had sprung to life. "I'm pretty sure she does, Tali."

"Oooh, that's pretty sneaky. And clever." Tali added.

"Yeah, and look at the Commander. Have you ever seen her smile this much…ever? It's like she's a totally different person, relaxed, joking." Ashley mused. "It looks good on her."

While they watched, Liara turned down range and took aim. As she fired, Shepard's omni-tool tracked her hits, which grew steadily more consistent.

"Excellent Liara! You're a natural." Shepard said. "Let's spice it up a bit and see how you do against a mobile target. You'll need to adjust your stance a bit."

"My stance?"

"Yeah. In the field, you'll primarily use your biotics, which requires a free hand. So when you engage a target, you'll need to position yourself so that you can throw a warp or a singularity and then quickly stabilize your weapon and fire. You stand a bit too sideways and it will slow you down in the field."

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

"Go ahead and aim, and I'll show you." Liara did as instructed, and it suddenly occurred to Shepard this was a very, very bad idea but seeing no alternative she muttered a swift prayer under her breath and forged ahead. _Shit. _Swallowing hard, she stepped in behind Liara and placed her right palm firmly against Liara's right hip. The pistol dipped precariously at the contact and she instinctively reached forward with her left hand to support Liara's elbow which brought them closer still. "Just uh… just look down the sights at the target, Li, and widen your stance a bit."

The gun tip rose and Shepard nodded.

"Okay, good, um.." _Damn it, Jane stop stammering and get this over with! _"Now, just uh, square your hips to the target."

With Jane guiding her hip, and studiously ignoring the way it perfectly nestled against her palm, Liara pivoted. Her other hand dropped from Liara's elbow and fell to her waist so that they stood together practically spooning. "Perfect." Jane whispered.

"Yes." Liara sighed and began to lean against her and Jane leapt away as if scorched. Her hands suddenly felt too empty, her arms too long for her body and she crossed them protectively over her chest. "So, that's pretty much it." She stared at her feet to avoid Liara's gaze.

"Thank you…Shepard." Liara replied softly.

A sudden, sharp pain fired through Shepard's head. She wrenched her eyes shut with a groan and pressed the heel of her palm firmly against her forehead.

"Shepard?" Liara's voice was thick with worry. "Are you all right? Should I call Dr. Chakwas?"

Shepard shook her head and waved off Liara's concern with her free hand. "No, I'm okay." Keeping her eyes closed, she leaned forward and braced her hands against her bent knees, breathing hard as sweat beaded on her skin.

"Jane you are not okay at all." Liara insisted. "We should…"

"I'm fine Liara." she snapped. _Fuck. _The words came out harsher than she had intended and she pushed herself upright forcing her eyes open to meet Liara's. The asari stood frozen, her knuckles white against the pistol. "Really, Liara. I'm fine." Shepard reassured softly. She nodded toward the weapon in Liara's hands. "The pistol…her name is Blue."

Liara had no time to respond as Shepard collapsed to the floor.


	6. Chapter 6

Liara shifted in the chair, trying and failing to find a comfortable position before finally giving up and and rising to her feet. She leaned over the nearby bed and gently tucked the blanket under Shepard's chin, letting her fingers continue upward to trace the smooth curve of her cheek and the soft line of her brow. Goddess, she couldn't stop touching her. She didn't dare to stop because she knew that when Shepard woke, she would push her away.

Nearly ten hours had passed since Shepard had collapsed at Liara's feet and she still hadn't awakened. Every test Dr. Chakwas had run had returned within normal limits with the exception of the brain scan which showed abnormal beta wave activity. According to the Doctor, the readings were unchanged since Jane had come into contact with the beacon on Eden Prime. Liara felt confident she could help Jane with the images that were plaguing her, if she could convince her to let her try.

Jane grimaced in her sleep and Liara ran a hand over her forehead, smoothing the furrowed lines of her brow. Dr. Chakwas had tried to get her to leave, but Liara had refused, eventually convincing the Doctor to go and get some rest herself while she kept vigil. Medically, Jane was simply in an altered state of sleep, but Liara did not want her to wake alone, possibly disoriented and still in pain. She watched as Jane's eyes fluttered rapidly under her lids and her features twisted in agitated response to whatever she was seeing in her dreams.

Liara pushed her fingers through the shaggy locks of red hair that fell across Jane's face, brushing them back, reveling in the silky texture. "What is going on in there, Jane? What do you see?"

She wished she knew, but Shepard was no more forthcoming in sleep than she was when awake. Liara found the situation frustrating, but she had established a reasonable theory to explain Jane's avoidance of her.

She had completed her search into Jane's background. While not as tech savvy as Tali, her hacking skills were still formidable and she had put them to good use accessing classified Alliance files, not too difficult on an Alliance ship. She felt guilty for the breach of privacy, but Jane had left her with no reasonable alternative. As new as she was to the ship, and with a black cloud of suspicion hanging over her head, questioning the crew was impossible.

She had begun her search worried there would be little information to be found. It turned out Jane's military career wasvery well documented. There was almost too much information, especially if one had enough insight into the subject to read between the lines. She had read the reports, scoured comm logs, and pieced together heavily redacted files and memorandums, and her heart had shattered into fragments with each document she viewed.

Jane's history for the past thirteen years was a story of pain. It was ugly, at times barbaric, and so full of loss and grief she had no idea how one person could bear it.

Liara studied Jane's face, lifting her finger to lightly trace the scar slicing through her brow, imagining the scars Jane carried inside her, and how deep and jagged they must be. Goddess, she had lost so many! Her dearest childhood friend, an entire squad on Akuze, and her whole unit of Torfan. Then, as if the losses alone weren't enough to deal with, there was the added pressure of public opinion. Liara understood well how damaging and overwhelming that alone could be; she was, after all, a traitorous matriarch's daughter.

Shepard was hailed as a hero by some, but as an infamous 'butcher' by many more, even within the Alliance itself.

Overcome with grief, she knelt beside the bed and placed her head on the pillow beside Jane's letting her tears fall. In her mind's eye she could see the wistful enthusiasm on Jane's face when she had told Liara of her plans to enlist. While Liara had questioned the divergent paths her own future might take, Shepard had never wanted _anything_ else. Now, to know her dreams had damaged her, fundamentally changing Jane from the fun filled, mischievous youth she had been to a hardened soldier who pushed everyone away, nearly broke her. Goddess, she almost wished Jane _had_ been avoiding her because she was involved with someone else. It would have hurt. Goddess, it would have brought her to her knees. But at least she would know Jane had experienced some form of happiness, that she had grieved for the fallen and the lost with the love and support of a partner. But she hadn't.

As near as Liara could tell, Jane had no one. She had checked Jane's personal message logs, aching for Jane at what they revealed. She had found no social contacts, no friends. There were no outgoing messages to her family, though Jane had received messages from her mother which she archived, unopened. The other personal messages she received were often filled with scathing slander and criticism. These Shepard saved in an often accessed personal file which Liara had been sorely tempted to purge from the system. After Torfan, Jane had written letters of condolence to the family members of every soldier in her unit, explaining the necessity of her actions and apologizing for them, but according to the logs she hadn't sent a single piece of personal correspondence since, limiting her outgoing messages to official business on primary channels. Goddess, in the five years since Torfan the woman had only taken personal leave one time, and then only because it had been mandated.

Liara could barely breathe around the knot of anger, grief, and guilt cinched tightly in her chest. She had spent the past thirteen years following her own path, all the while relying on the assumption that Jane was happy to give her comfort and keep her company during long months spent alone. For pursuing archeology, Liara could forgive herself. It had been her lifelong dream, just as the Alliance had been Jane's. But for her assumption of Jane's happiness...for her woeful, willfully blind ignorance…she could not. She should have been there. She should have known of Jane's heartache and the tragedies that had befallen her, but for her own sake, to better protect her own heart, she had avoided looking too closely and in doing so, had sacrificed Jane's. It was unforgivable.

Sniffling, she raised her head and brushed her lips against Jane's temple, letting them rest there while she softly breathed her in. One thing was certain, she was never leaving her again. Jane was different now, and Liara imagined she was somewhat different too, but one important thing remained the same. There was a connection between them. Even now, she could feel it's inexplicable pull. It was the same gentle tug that had let her know Jane had followed her on Arcturus. The same connection that had snapped together when Jane had rescued her on Therum, and that had allowed her a brief but beautiful window into the Jane she had known. It kept her willingly locked here at Jane's bedside now, waiting for her to wake. And for all the distance Jane could try to keep between them, Liara knew she felt it too.

It had been written all over her in the cargo bay. Liara didn't know what had changed that caused Jane to go from completely avoiding her to inviting her to weapons training. And while it wasn't the complete about face she longed for, it was a start. The soft light in Jane's eyes, the endearing way she tripped over her words, and the trembling touch of her hands, had told Liara everything she needed to know. Jane…her Jane, was still there, buried deep under the hard exterior of Commander Shepard. It hurt her when Jane came close only to pull away, but understanding the pain that drove her actions helped to soothe the ache. She would continue to fight, of that Liara had no doubt. Jane would continue to push her away. How could she not? She had lost more than friends and colleagues over the past thirteen years; somewhere along the way she had lost herself and Liara was determined to find her. It would take effort and time, but she was asari; she could be patient.

* * *

Karin sipped her morning tea as she headed for the medical bay, her thoughts lingering on the lone patient occupying the corner bed. In all her years she had never encountered a harder nut to crack than Commander Jane Shepard. The woman was as hard-headed as a krogan and twice as surly, with mercurial mood swings that would test the patience of a saint. She unapologetically pushed her crew's buttons, driving them hard to be better soldiers, earning both their fear and their grudging respect in the process. She was also kind when she thought no one was looking.

Shepard was born to command, of that she was certain. Karin could count on one hand the number of soldiers she could say that about and genuinely mean it, and she'd been in the Alliance for a very long time. Even among that esteemed few, Shepard was unique. There was something about her that set her apart, that made people want to follow her despite her moodiness, even despite her reputation. It wasn't simply that she was selfless when it came to the safety and well-being of her crew, though she was. If she was Karin's most frequent patient, it was because she threw herself in the line of fire to protect those around her without regard for her own personal safety. No, the crew doggedly followed her because she not only made them better soldiers, but because she made them better people. Yet Shepard was so disdainful of herself she wasn't even aware of it. It was eminently frustrating. Almost as frustrating as her own inability to develop a treatment protocol for Shepard's current ailment. Where Commander Shepard was concerned, failure was not an option.

Karin entered the medical bay so preoccupied she was fully half way in the room before she saw them. Quietly placing her tea on the desk, she crept closer, pausing for a moment to appreciate the sight that greeted her. Commander Shepard appeared to be actually sleeping rather than simply rendered unconscious by the lingering effects of the beacon. Her eyes were still, no longer wildly trapped in REM, her breathing was slow and unlabored, and she was…smiling. She looked utterly at peace. It was a beautiful thing to see after observing her struggle for so long.

She would like to have said it was her own care that caused it, but she felt certain the the restful sleep, and the smile, were due to the asari who lay asleep beside her, half on and half off the bed, and whose hand Shepard held tucked against her cheek. She was loathe to disturb them; Shepard truly needed the rest, but it wouldn't be long before other members of the crew began arriving to inquire about the Commander's status. She doubted either Shepard or Liara would react well if anyone else saw them.

With a regretful sigh, she placed a gentle hand on Liara's shoulder and gave her a light shake. "Dr. T'Soni?"

Liara's eyes blinked open. "Shepard?"

"No dear, she's not awake yet though I imagine she'll begin stirring any time."

Liara yanked her head up, her wide eyes jumping back and forth between Shepard and Dr. Chakwas as she realized the position in which she had been found. Karin bit back a smile as Liara gently and slowly extracted her hand from Shepard's grip.

Liara stood, rubbing her hands together. "I..I am..that is, Shepard…"

Karin allowed herself a soft chuckle. "It's quite all right, Liara. Perfect actually. You've given the Commander what I have been unable to provide since Eden Prime: sleep."

"Oh." Liara said. Then as if finally hearing her. "Oh. She hasn't been sleeping? At all?"

"Barely enough to sustain herself and even then, the quality of sleep she gets is…poor. It allows her body a brief respite, but doesn't permit her mind to rest."

On the bed, Shepard began to stir. Liara started to reach for her, but pulled back, uncertain.

"Liara, I don't want to appear insensitive, but I strongly suspect Shepard is about to wake. Historically, she has never done well waking here and I suspect, given her recent demeanor, today will be no exception. I do not know how she will react to…"

"You think she will be upset if she wakes and I am here; I understand." Liara paused, coloring slightly. "Doctor, she doesn't..the hand holding…she wasn't…"

"In sleep, Liara, we often reach for those things our waking mind might otherwise steer us away from. I will not mention it, but you are clearly good for her. Let's try this; why don't you go freshen up and bring the Commander a cup of coffee in, say, a quarter hour?"

Liara nodded. "Coffee it is."

After Liara left, Karin approached the Commander and watched her wake. She often scorned younger physicians who relied too heavily on scans and tests. They often treated patients they couldn't recognize minutes later, having never actually looked at their faces. No, she was old-school. Observation could often tell her more than a scan, hell in the Commander's case it told her more than Shepard did herself. The Commander was notoriously dishonest when it came to matters regarding her own health and care.

Shepard was still pale; her freckles stood out more than usual and a light sheen of sweat covered her forehead. Karin frowned as Shepard grimaced in pain as she woke. A few moment later her eyes finally fluttered open.

"Good morning, Commander. How are you feeling?"

"Chakwas?" Shepard looked left and right, trying to get her bearings before bolting upright with a scowl. "Chakwas. What the hell happened? Why am I here?"

"You collapsed in the cargo hold, Shepard."

Shepard looked straight ahead, eyes shifting left and right as she tried to recall where she had been and what she had been doing. "I was doing weapons training with…" She stopped. "Was Liara here? I thought I…never mind." She lifted a hand to massage her temple.

"You still haven't answered my question, Commander. How are you feeling? How is your head?"

"My head is fine."

"Then why are you rubbing it?"

"I'm not!" Wearing a look of disgust, she dropped her hand and began scooting toward the edge of the bed."I am fine. I do not have a headache and I'm leaving now." When she felt the cool air of the room hit the bare skin of her legs she stopped. "Where are my pants?!"

"I removed them when you arrived, Shepard, for this very reason."

"Give me my pants!"

"I will return them after checking your lab work and after we have a little chat. Not one second before." Karin said. "You were unconscious for almost fifteen hours, Commander."

"And now I'm not!" Shepard ran her hands through her hair, tugging it in frustration. "Give me my pants, _please._"

"Blood tests, chat, then pants. In that order." She really despised being so curt, but could see no way around it; Shepard was simply too obstinate for her own good.

"Fine!" Jane stood, yanking the blanket from the bed with a flourish and cinching it awkwardly around her waist. "I'll go get my own damn pants!"

"You _really _don't want to do that, Commander." Karin added, as Shepard began hobbling toward the door.

"And why the hell not! This is the goddamn military! It's not like…"

As if on cue, the door opened and Liara walked in carefully balancing a heavily laden breakfast tray in her arms.

Chakwas had heard stories of Shepard's near legendary speed, but had she not seen it with her own eyes, she would have never believed any bipedal animal could move so swiftly. One moment, the Commander was within inches of leaving, and the next she was back in bed, red faced and scowling daggers in her direction.

Liara stood rooted to the spot, her brow wrinkled in confusion as if she wasn't entirely sure what had just happened. Her eyes grew guarded when she saw Shepard's angry frown. "Good morning, Shepard. I am glad to see you are finally awake." She walked slowly toward Shepard's bed, carefully carrying the tray in front of her. "I, um, I brought you coffee…and breakfast."

"You did?" Shepard scowl fell. "Thanks."

Karin did a double take as the woman who had been ready to trounce through the mess at breakfast, inarguably the busiest time of the day, wearing nothing but a tee shirt and a blanket, and who had been fit to be tied moments before, sank calmly into the bed. She would bet a thousand credits _and_ a bottle of brandy that if anyone else had walked through the door, Shepard would have blacked their eye and gone on her merry way.

Liara placed the tray on a bedside table and positioned it over the bed while Shepard elevated the head. "How are you feeling?"

"We were just discussing that." Karin interjected. "The Commander was just agreeing to some additional lab work."

Shepard scowled at her behind Liara's back as the asari turned to sit in a nearby chair, but she picked up the coffee and sipped it with a grateful sigh.

"Shepard." Liara began. "I think I can help with your headaches."

Karin's brows lifted. "How do you mean, Liara?"

"Shepard's headaches began after she came into contact with the prothean beacon. The protheans used the beacons as vast repositories for information and knowledge. While there is no clear understanding of _how_ the protheans used them, my research suggests the beacons were specifically designed to work with prothean physiology."

"I got some of that from your research." Shepard said around a bite of toast. "But, I don't…

"You've read my research?" Liara blurted.

Shepard flushed, and nodded. Quickly shoveling a forkful of eggs into her mouth to keep from having to discuss it further.

"I have given this a great deal of thought." Liara continued. "Shepard, when I first came on board, you said the beacon burned a vision into your brain. After your report, I did some additional research. I could find no records of similar encounters with active beacons; the beacons are very rare, almost always dormant, or broken. Shepard, you are… remarkable. You touched working prothean technology, however because the images you received were designed to be processed by a physiology vastly different than your own, to you they are unclear and confusing. I believe the headaches you suffer are a side effect of your human brain attempting to contextualize the images, to process the information." Liara stood and approached the bed. "I have dedicated the past fifty years of my life to studying the protheans. I believe that if I were to join my consciousness with yours Shepard, I may be able to help. I think I can make your headaches either stop, or at least reduce their severity."

"Liara! That is brilliant!" Karin said, smiling widely. "I should have consulted you as soon as you came aboard."

"No." Shepard laid down her fork and looked up at them from the bed, her eyes hard and unyielding. Beside her, Liara paled, growing very quiet and still.

"But why, Commander?" Karin said. "It may not completely resolve the problem, but if it even helps…"

Shepard slammed her palm against the table, causing the tray to clatter loudly and Liara to jump. "Dammit, I said no!"

"Commander, I don't think you grasp the..

"What part of fucking no do you not fucking understand, Chakwas!" Shepard's face was crimson with rage as she shoved the table away, leaning as far forward as she could while remaining on the bed. "No! I will _not_ listen to this! I do not want to hear…"

Dr. Chakwas erupted. "You WILL listen, damn you! Let me put in terms you will understand, Commander. You are a tactician and a damn fine one. You understand the ebb and flow of battle, you can find the chinks in the armor of your foe, the weaknesses to exploit. It is what you do, it is who you are. I will _not_ have you enter _this_ battle unprepared. I will _not _permit you to forge blindly ahead without understanding the repercussions!" She paused, praying her words were somehow sinking in through Shepard's krogan thick skull.

When Shepard remained silent, she continued. "We both know traditional medicine has done nothing. I have given you every damn medication we have, nothing has helped. You are not sleeping, you barely eat…"

"I just fucking ate an entire breakfast!" Shepard growled.

"Because you finally got some sleep! Real, actual, sleep Shepard! But you had to _collapse _to get it!" Too angry and hurt to continue, she turned away. There were many things she loved about being a physician; this was not one of them. In the same way some physicians didn't actually 'see' patients assigned to their care, too often patients didn't 'see' doctors either. Shepard did not know the hours she spent worrying, or that seeing her injured or in pain was acutely painful for her as well.

Collecting herself, she turned back around and glanced toward Liara. The pale asari had retreated to the chair and sat with her arms wrapped protectively around herself, blinking back tears. On the bed, Shepard was rigid with anger, staring straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge either of them.

"Damn it, this won't do." She crossed the room to her desk, opened the lower drawer, and pulled out a bottle. She then proceeded to the stock shelf, procuring three disposable cups before returning to Shepard's side. She gave Shepard's bedside table a heave across the room, replacing it with the one from the neighboring bed. Shepard observed her silently until she sat on the edge of her bed and began lining up the cups on the table.

"What the hell are you doing, Doc?"

"We," she corrected, "are going to have a drink. You, too, Liara. Slide your chair over nice and cozy."

"I'm on duty. I can't." Shepard argued, glaring.

Karin cracked open the bottle and poured a generous measure of brandy in each cup. Reaching across Shepard, she handed one of the cups to Liara before holding the next out to Shepard. "On duty, Commander? You are in the medical bay wearing a blanket for a skirt." She waggled the cup at Shepard. "Doctor's orders."

Wearing a seemingly perpetual scowl, Shepard reluctantly accepted the drink.

"A toast." Karin picked up her own cup, holding it aloft. "To problems for which there are solutions… especially when the solution is brandy." She sipped, enjoying the sweet flavor as it burst on her tongue followed by a slow, sharp burn.

Liara drank hers in one swift gulp without flinching, while Shepard watched, stunned.

Ignoring Shepard's huff of protest, Liara wordlessly extended her cup for a refill, which Karin obligingly decanted before turning her eyes to Shepard.

"Commander, now that I am properly fortified I will apologize for my earlier outburst. It was not, I think, unwarranted, but it was unprofessional and for that I am truly sorry. You have a way of…yanking my chain, as it were." She stared into her drink, lightly swirling its contents before continuing softly. "And now another truth." Her eyes flicked to Shepard's. "You have a headache right now, though you would deny it if asked." She swiftly lifted her hand when Shepard tried to speak. "Do not lie to me, Commander, please. Not now, and especially not over Serrice Ice brandy. I am your doctor, your Chief Medical Officer, and it is my job to know you better than you know yourself." She sounded weary, even to her own ears. "Damn it, Shepard, it isn't an accusation, just a simple statement of fact. If my physician's intuition is correct, and it usually is, you have been in pain since you touched that damnable beacon, haven't you?"

Shepard averted her eyes, staring for a long moment at the cup cradled in her hands before finally lifting it and drinking.

"Is that true, Shepard?" Liara spoke softly, her eyes searching Shepard's face.

Shepard wilted under Liara's scrutiny, slumping against the bed. "What is this?" Some kind of damned intervention?"

"I suppose you could put it that way." Karin said. "So _please_ listen, Shepard. The reason your head aches constantly is because whatever happened to you when you touched that beacon keeps happening. I've done enough scans on you to know, but even if I hadn't…" She sighed, raking her fingers through her hair. "Even if I hadn't, I would know. Since Eden Prime, I have been forced to watch you slowly fall apart."_ And it's killing me._

Shepard lifted her eyes to study Karin's face, quickly averting them as if she didn't like the truth she read there.

"Don't worry, Commander, you hide it well enough from the rest of the crew, but I can see it."She sighed. "The thing you need to understand is that the pain you're living with won't go away on its own."

"I can _handle_ it, Doc."

"Of course you can…for a while. But it will get worse." She paused. "The human body, the human mind was not designed to withstand extended periods of intractable pain. Hell, Shepard, if it was only pain I wouldn't be as concerned. You could growl around the ship like a bear with a sore paw to your heart's content, but that is only the half of it. You're also seriously sleep deprived, which is infinitely more problematic. It affects your behavior now, but before long it will begin to affect your judgment, your decision making, your ability to command! Shepard, you are the most brilliant commander with whom I have ever had the privilege to serve. And the most stubborn." She added. But something has got to give, or you _will_ break."

"There has got to be something else!" Shepard insisted desperately.

Shepard's eyes begged her for an answer, and it broke her heart. She blinked rapidly. _Karin Chakwas you _will not_ cry in front of a patient. _ "Yes, of course there is."

Shepard's eyes jumped to hers, clinging desperately. "What is it? We could try that instead, and…"

"The only other viable solution is a medically induced coma, Shepard, and I'm not convinced even that would work. If it did, it would only be temporary. The activity patterns in your brain were changed… altered by the beacon. Imagine physically engaging in hand to hand combat without stopping to rest." Reaching up she lightly tapped Shepard's head. "That is what is happening in _there_ all the time."

"Fuck." Shepard threw back her cup and downed the brandy.

"Commander, please know I do not tell you any of this lightly. I have investigated every possible medical alternative, contacted every specialist and sub-specialist I know, but the simple truth remains: humans brains require proper sleep_ to live…_ and yours isn't getting it. It's a problem. Fortunately, in this case Liara may have found a solution. It's at least worth a try, Shepard."

"Heh." It was a harsh sound, lacking humor. "Just like the toast, right? To problems with solutions, especially brandy?" Shepard's eyes were agony as she held out her empty cup. "I'll stick to brandy."

Pale and visibly trembling, Liara rose and slipped wordlessly through the door and into the lab. As the door hissed closed, Shepard pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes and fell back against the pillows.

"I never thought I would say this Commander, but I am ashamed of you. I know you are stubborn and often insensitive, but I have never seen such cruel disregard. Not only for that poor girl but for everyone else on this ship, yourself most of all."

Shepard visibly winced. "I'll find another way! Saren activated the beacon; he must know how they work. When we find him…" Her words trailed off.

"When you find him, what? Listen to yourself, Commander! You're saying you would rather take a chance on a rogue Spectre helping you than accept the willing aid of someone who cares for you. Even if Saren knows how to reverse the effects of the beacon, what makes you think he would tell you? What if he knows nothing?" Karin shook her head. "You obviously won't listen to reason and I am through trying."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means I will permit you to return to duty _if_, and _only _if you agree to the conditions I set forth, Commander. Make no mistake, if you do not agree, I will declare you unfit for duty, confine you to your cabin, and arrange your transfer to the nearest Alliance medical facility. I am asking you, as your friend Shepard, _not_ to put me in that position. Accept the terms."

"I don't have much choice, do I?" She snapped. "Fuck it…what are the conditions?"

"You will eat three meals a day. I don't care if you're not hungry or if you don't feel like it; choke them down if you must. Your body is under an immense strain and you need the nourishment."

"Fine. What else?"

"Liara is to accompany you on all ground missions."

Shepard's fist slammed the table. "Chakwas, I know she's going to be on the ground at some point, but she's not a soldier; she's an archeologist. She's not trained for combat!" Shepard's face was a mask of pain, anger, and no small measure of fear. "Why? Why are you doing this? Why Liara?"

Chakwas plucked Shepards hand from the bed and cupped it between her own, holding on when she tried to pull away. To her, the soldiers entrusted to her care were like her children and like any good mother, she knew sometimes in order to help your children, you had to hurt them.

"Because you have left me no choice, Shepard. When an _average_ person suffers severe sleep deprivation the most notable change is loss of motor coordination." She patted Shepard's hand and smiled sadly. "Nothing about you is average, Shepard." Her smile faded as she continued. "In your case, behavioral changes will likely be the first indicator you are failing. You are compensating very well, but even you can't keep it up forever.

I want Liara to accompany you for two reasons. First, she is the only person on the ship other than me who is aware of the extent and severity of your condition. As I said, you hide it very well. So well the rest of the crew views your churlishness as a personality quirk. I know better and so does Liara."

"So, she's supposed to what? Monitor my behavior and then report it to you or I'm grounded mom?" Shepard cheeked.

Karin's laughter was warm and rich. "I see you're finally getting it. Yes, I will ask her to monitor your behavior and mood, but she need not come to me unless anything changes."

"What else? What's the second reason?"

"That is simple enough; for you to protect her, of course."

"That makes absolutely no sense. You want me to deliberately place her in danger just to protect her?"

"It makes perfect sense. You are the only person who truly knows your limits, and you are also your own worst enemy. It's a recipe for disaster. In defiance of all common sense you push yourself beyond your limits, all the while proclaiming how 'fine' you are. You care nothing for yourself, Shepard! I can't even begin to understand why and it honestly breaks my heart! You value yourself so little you forge ahead even when your body and brain are screaming they've had enough. You have already proven you will stubbornly keep going until you collapse."

"What does any of that have to do with Liara?"

"It's a matter of priorities. You willingly risk yourself, but I do not think you will so readily risk her. Think what could happen to her if you overextend yourself to the point of collapse in the field? She will go with you on every ground mission, and you will protect her. Not only from Saren and the geth. You're going to protect her from you, and your own tendency to self destruct."

Shepard yanked her hand free, palmed her forehead, and sank back against the pillows, utterly defeated. "Now who's being cruel?"


	7. Chapter 7

Shepard watched the surface of her coffee vibrate as she clenched the mug tightly between her palms in an attempt to warm her hands. She wasn't sure if the repeating pattern of concentric rings was due to the vibration of the ship, or the chills she tried to suppress by folding her body into a tight ball. Nothing helped. No amount of coffee, hot showers, or extra layers penetrated the chill that had settled into her bones since they'd left Noveria. She almost welcomed the hot pain knifing her skull; every part of her was cold, every part of her ached. She felt stretched out and thin, and stressed. She felt…fucking miserable.

Benezia. Just thinking the name made Shepard want to scream in rage, to throw things, to break and destroy. If she had known Benezia was on Noveria she would have told Dr. Chakwas to piss off and Liara would have remained on the Normandy none the wiser until the mission was complete. As soon as she'd been alerted to Benezia's presence, she had tried to send Liara back to the ship, but the asari had flatly refused.

Shepard had never seen Liara defiant. She had crossed her arms over her chest, cocked her hip to one side and said 'No Shepard, I'm not leaving you' in her dulcet voice. It had been like shooting smooth whiskey and Shepard had let her stay. Not because of her traitorous libido, but because she could see the thin sliver of hope Liara's defiance masked. Hope that she could convince Benezia to turn away from Saren and redeem herself. Like a fool, like a fucking idiot, she had given in and Liara had remained with the squad.

She should have known better.

The sound of approaching footsteps against the crew deck drew her attention and she looked up from her mug just a Lieutenant Alenko entered the mess. With no graceful way to retreat, she remained still hoping he wouldn't see her in the dim light of the corner.

"Commander? I'm surprised to see you up at this hour ma'am."

_Damn_. "I could say the same for you, Alenko." She unfurled her legs and sat up. "What has you roaming the deck in the middle of the night?"

"Oh, uh..headache, ma'am" He pointed to his head. "It's the L2. I've learned to live with them, but I hate when they interfere with my rack time."

She gave him a wry smile. "I can relate, believe me."

Taking the smile as an invitation, he pulled out the chair across from her and sat, resting his elbows on the table. The silence between them stretched out and though she had returned to studying the contents of her mug, she could feel his eyes on her.

"Commander, can I ask you something?"

She tensed. She had spoken with Kaidan a few times. He'd told her about 'brain camp' and the details surrounding the death of his instructor, Vyrnnus. He'd given her the story almost like a confession, then had seemed surprised when she'd brushed it off. Nothing about death, killing, or the ease with which people killed one another surprised her. She hadn't volunteered any information about her own Alliance history and he hadn't asked at the time, but she could feel the inevitable questions coming and dreaded them.

"What is it, Alenko?" The question came out harsher than she intended and his expression fell. Christ, could she never just…stop hurting people? She softened her voice."What's your question, LT?"

"How are you holding up, Commander?"

Shit. Was she getting more transparent? Could he see how drained she was? "Excuse me?"

"You know…how are you doing with everything? I mean, damn Commander, you're under a lot of pressure here. You got the information about the Mu relay, but we have no idea where Saren is going or what his next move will be and the Council isn't supporting you like they should. It's not right."

She sighed in relief. "Don't worry, Alenko. We'll get Saren."

"With you in the lead, I don't doubt that for a minute, ma'am. I just want you to know, I've got your back. We all do."

Her first instinct was to snap, to tell Kaidan he was a fucking idiot, but she held her tongue.

It had been the romanticized notions of loyalty and honor inherent in military service that had compelled her to enlist. She liked guns and fighting as much as the next girl, but there was something special in the bond between soldiers. Then her career had opened her eyes and shown her the truth. Honor was the the sugar coating on the bitter pill of war. Loyalty was a weapon. When she had betrayed her unit on Torfan, their undying loyalty had been the knife with which she had forced them to slit their own throats. Where the fuck was the honor in that?

If Kaidan knew about Torfan, and she was sure he did, he had no point of reference for it. He was young, and naive and still believed in honor, and loyalty. And so she held her tongue, because he had come to her and asked how she was doing for fuck's sake, and sat across from her wearing an expression of such open earnestness it was almost…endearing.

She sighed and placed her coffee on the table. "Thanks, LT."

Kaidan smiled briefly, but his expression quickly grew more serious. "Uh, Commander. There's something I'd like to talk to you about." He leaned back, nervously rubbing the palms of his hands against his trousers. "Ma'am, you told me I should come to you if I ever, uh, disagreed with your choices."

_Not one of my brighter moments. _"Yes?"

He leaned forward, bracing his palms against the flat surface of the table and his eyes held hers. "Commander, you need to go talk to Dr. T'Soni."

Shepard allowed her eyes to drift closed, and she slowly counted to ten. Her knuckles whitened around her mug and she nearly hissed when the knife in her skull twisted, burrowed deeper. When she opened her eyes, Alenko hadn't budged and his earnest eyes studied her face. "Commander, she's hurting. She hasn't been out of the lab in days and she's barely eating. We're all worried about her, and frankly I…I thought you cared about her, Commander."

Shepard lifted her mug and slammed it against the table, sloshing its contents over her hand. "I killed her mother!" The words ripped from her chest in a spray of agony. "I am the _last_ person she needs to see."

Kaidan stood and leaned over the table. "You did what you had to do, Commander, nothing more, and nothing less. Everyone on this ship knows it. You can't carry the weight of that around as if you had a choice; the outcome was decided before you even confronted Matriarch Benezia. Dr. T'Soni knows that as well as I do. But even though it was unavoidable, it was her mom…her _mom_, Shepard…and she's grieving. As her commanding officer, you should have been the first to visit her."

Looking away, she absently wiped the coffee from her hand across the front of her shirt. He was right, and she knew it. It burned like acid in her stomach, but she knew it.

The medical bay door hissed open and Liara glided into the room like a ghost. "Lieutenant Alenko? Is everything all right? I heard noises and…" Her words trailed off as she saw Shepard seated in the shadows. "Oh, Commander…Shepard..I am sorry. I did not realize.." She began to turn.

"Liara, wait." Shepard said, rising to her feet.

Liara turned but remained rooted to the spot, as if unsure if she should come closer.

"I was just heading off to bed, Dr. T'Soni. I'll see you in the morning." Kaidan said. "Goodnight." He turned his back to Liara and leaned close to Shepard. "_Tea,_" he whispered.

Shepard pulled her eyes away from Liara, turning her head sideways to see him. "_What_?"

He leaned in slightly, whispering. "_Make her a cup of tea; she likes it._" He straightened and gave her shoulder a friendly pat. "Goodnight Commander."

As Kaidan walked away, Shepard's heart began thumping inside her chest. She gestured awkwardly at a nearby chair. "Liara, please. Come sit."

Liara's bare feet carried her closer. Apparently, in her rush to investigate the noises she had heard, she had hastily dressed and opted to forgo shoes. The sight made Shepard unbelievably sad though she had no idea why.

"Your feet are going to get cold." She resisted the urge to smack her palm against her forehead. _Well played, Commander Obvious. _

They both looked down at Liara's toes peeking up from the deck and Liara shrugged. "It is fine, really." She took a seat in the chair Shepard had indicated, perching stiffly on the edge of the seat bottom as her fingers nervously worked at the material of her pants, repeatedly pulling up small tents in the fabric and smoothing them again.

"Just, uh..just relax. I'll get you a cup of tea." Shepard quickly retreated to the kitchen, grateful for the brief reprieve. She didn't know whether to kill Kaidan for abandoning her, or promote him for suggesting the tea. The clinking of cups chipped at the silence while she wracked her brain for what to say to Liara. How do you apologize for killing someone's mother? Jane knew she was awkward at the best of times, and a complete ass at her worst. She'd spent so much time pushing people away that connecting was difficult now. But this was Liara, and she was hurting.

She poured herself another cup of coffee, gathered Liara's tea and a towel, and returned to the table.

"Here you go."

Liara looked up as she placed their mugs on the table. "Thank you, Shepard. You are very kind."

The words, though well meant, shamed her. Liara deserved so much better than…tea and kindness. "There's sugar…or milk, if you'd like." _Really Shep?_

"No thank you." She continued to stare up at her for a moment. "Shepard, are you not going to sit?"

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry." Shepard sat across from Liara and proceeded to wipe up the coffee she had spilled earlier. Unable to think of anything else to delay the inevitable, she allowed her eyes to drift upward. The room seemed to shrink as Liara's eyes floated before her, red rimmed from recent tears. "Liara, I am…I am so very sorry about Benezia."

Liara wrapped her hands around her mug. "Shepard, my mother brought her death upon herself; you must know I do not blame you."

Jane despised herself for it, but couldn't fight the tide of relief that washed over her at Liara's words, though the the calm acceptance of her tone chimed warning bells.

"Liara, I know your mother wasn't supportive of your choices, but she was still your mother…"

"Was she? Maybe for a moment there at the end." The corner of Liara's lips tugged upward in a small, sad smile. "I was…proud of her, Shepard..of who she was, or…used to be. My mother and I did not see eye to eye on many things, and you are correct. She did not support my decision to pursue prothean studies. But she was a great and respected leader among my people. I do not know if I will ever understand why she joined Saren, but her intentions were honorable, and she fought his influence at the last. That is who I choose to remember as my mother, that is who I mourn, not the…indoctrinated slave that died on Noveria."

Jane nodded silently. She had not spoken with her own mother in years, not since Torfan.

"I appreciate your concern, Shepard, but I confess; I have been worried about you. How has your headache been?"

Shepard tensed then forced herself to relax. Liara's eyes held hers without a hint of prejudice or assumption. Dr. Chakwas often asked her the same question, but always anticipated a lie. Her fault, of course, but she couldn't stomach the thought of Liara looking at her in the same way. "It's feels like there's a rabid varren trapped inside my skull."

Liara's eyes softened. "Shepard…"

"How are your feet?" She didn't want to talk about her headache.

"What?" Liara said, perplexed.

"Those things at the end of your legs with no socks or shoes?" Shepard held up her hand, and walked her fingers across her palm. "Your feet."

Liara glanced down at her feet and smiled. "You were correct; they are now cold."

"Give them to me." Shepard slid her chair sideways past the edge of the table and patted her lap. "Your feet. Give 'em here."

Liara looked uncertain as she leaned back in her chair and lifted her feet one at a time onto Jane's lap. She flinched as Shepard's hands closed around her toes eliciting a quick smile from Jane. "Don't tell me you're ticklish, T'Soni."

"I..I do not know, but your hands are…they are very warm."

Jane wondered if Liara was aware her voice had thickened like honey, or of the effect it had on her. They sat silently, each studying the other and trying to adjust to the shifting awareness between them. It charged the air, making it hard for her to breathe and afraid to move. The sensation of Liara's skin warming under her hands was rapidly becoming much more about her hands on Liara's skin than warming her feet.

"Talk to me, T'Soni." Her voice was a soft rasp. Unable to remain still, she moved her thumbs in slow circles along the curve of Liara's arches.

Liara's eyes drifted shut and she melted into the chair at the change in contact. "Shepard, I.. I do not think I can talk while you..do that."

Jane's mouth had gone very dry, and she licked her lips. "Then just, uh.. sit back and relax."

A small warning voice in the back of Jane's mind screamed at her to stop. For the first time in a very long while, she ignored it. Damn it, was adept at hurting Liara and Liara had earned a greater act of kindness from her than _tea _with milk and fucking sugar. If only for a little while, she wanted to comfort rather than injure.

It was torture. As Jane continued the motion of her hands, sounds of pleasure emanated from the asari and every soft sigh and whimper set fires under her skin.

In an attempt to distract herself she studied Liara's feet. While very similar to her own, there were slight differences. Liara's feet were long and slender, with narrow slightly tapered toes and higher arches than a human foot. The skin of her soles was not a pattern of whorled lines and rings like that of a human, but rather a uniform, scalloped pattern closely resembling scales, but perfectly flat. Her skin was remarkably soft and smooth. It made her unreasonably happy to discover Liara's feet were like everything else about her, elegant...exquisite. She shook her head. _Exquisite feet? Yep, you're hopeless, Jane. _

She continued massaging, gently kneading Liara's skin. After a long silence, Jane cautioned a glance upward.

Her gut reaction was to close her eyes, to turn away. She fought it. She'd had too few perfect moments in her life and if she lived to be two hundred and fifty, she wanted this moment tattooed into her memory.

Liara sat leaned back against the chair with her hands gripping the sides of the seat. Her head was tilted back and to the side, her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted. Shepard could see the staccato beat of her pulse hammering against the skin of her neck, and the rapid, shallow motion of her chest as she breathed. She was…sweet damn, she was magnificent, timelessly beautiful and dead sexy. Jane wanted nothing more than to remain there, enjoying the feeling of Liara's skin under her hands, and watching her, but morning was rapidly approaching and her control was slipping.

"I think they're warm now." Jane said softly, as her hands stilled.

Liara's eyes fluttered open and locked onto hers, riveting her to the chair. Liara's expression was a delicious tangle of heat, need, and sleepy confusion and Jane barely breathed for fear of snapping the thin cord of control tethering her emotions.

As if sensing Jane's mounting tension, Liara looked away. She slowly brought her feet to the floor and pushed herself up from the chair. With a jagged breath, Jane rose stiffly beside her.

"Thank you, Shepard. For everything."

"Goodnight Liara." She said, her voice uncharacteristically tight. "Get some rest, okay?"

Liara nodded and reluctantly retreated into the shadows.

Alone in the dark, Jane sat on the edge of the table and closed her eyes. For the thousandth time, she found herself wondering how things might have been different had she found Liara sooner, before the Alliance, before the loss, and the grief. She wanted to rush after her and beg her to understand, to apologize for her failures and beg for absolution for the horrible things she had done but she couldn't. Liara deserved a better person than she had become.

Jane's eyes flew open as a warm hand settled against her cheek. Before she could protest, Liara's other hand tangled in her hair and pulled their lips together. Liara's lips were soft and urgent. Jane could feel the heat radiating from her as Liara trembled against her like a flame, painting Jane's lips with maddeningly light kisses that sent jolts of pleasure arcing through her. A low moan ripped from her throat as Liara's tongue darted forward to lick the curve of her bottom lip. Just as she began to lift her arms, Liara pulled away and placed her fingertips over Jane's mouth, holding them there to prevent her from speaking. Liara stood silently for a moment, shoulders rapidly rising and falling, as her breath quivered in and out.

Speechless, and with her own breath shuddering, Jane didn't move, too terrified Liara would leave…too terrified she would stay.

Liara leaned forward and rested her forehead against Jane's though she didn't move the hand covering her mouth. The fingers of her other hand continued to gently tug at her hair. "Goddess…your lips…" Her voice trembled and she paused, still breathing rapidly. "I failed to say goodnight earlier." She dropped her hand, quickly replacing her fingers with a soft kiss. "Goodnight, Jane."

Before Jane could gather her muddled thoughts to reply, Liara pivoted on her heels and was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

It was lunchtime, and Liara sat in the mess with Ashley and Garrus feigning interest in their conversation. The unlikely pair was discussing, in a surprisingly civil manner for a human and a turian, the First Contact War. Liara's contributions to the conversation thus far had been minimal at best; her mind kept drifting back to the early morning hours and Shepard.

Heat suffused her cheeks as she thought of Jane's strong and certain hands on her feet. Her _feet_! Goddess! She had not known feet could be so…sensitive! Unfortunately, the impromptu massage had ended too soon and Jane had bid her goodnight. Conflicted by the mixed signals Jane was sending and a bit unsteady from the lingering effects of her touch, she had turned and walked away, but a quick glance over her shoulder had found Jane standing where she had left her. She had looked so alone standing there that her feet had turned almost of their own accord and propelled her back to Jane's side. As she quietly closed the distance between them she had been unsure of what she was going to say, but in the near dark, wrapped in the silence of the night cycle, it had seemed as natural as breathing to twine her fingers in Jane's hair and kiss her. She colored deeper still recalling her fingers against Jane's lips. She had been terrified to let her speak, fearful Jane would react badly and she had ended the kiss as soon as she'd felt Jane begin to respond, unsure if she would pull her closer or push her away.

A noticeable lull in background noise drew her attention and she looked up just as Jane dropped her tray on the table and sat down across from her. Liara's heart flew forward, pounding incessantly at her chest, but Shepard did not look her way. Her eyes were on Ashley and Garrus who had stopped talking and stared at her as if seeing an apparition. In truth, Liara had never known Shepard to take her meals in the common area nor had anyone else judging by the many surprised stares in their direction.

"What?" Shepard shrugged. "I'm hungry and this seat was empty."

"If you say so ma'am." Ashley looked doubtful as her eyes bounced back and forth between Liara and Shepard.

Shepard lifted a cup of coffee with an appreciative sigh. "So, um, is everybody doing okay?"

Liara was too flustered to speak, and Garrus seemed frankly confused. Not only did Shepard never eat in the mess hall, she almost never engaged in idle conversations with the crew.

Ashley looked at her with an expression that said 'okay I'll play along' before responding. "Uh, I'm great, Skipper, but I think T'Soni's still off her game." Ashley paused, her face stricken. "Not that that's altogether surprising given the, uh, recent circumstances." She offered Liara a look of apology.

"I am fine, Ashley, though I appreciate your concern."

"It's just that you've been quiet, Doc, even for you." Garrus said.

Shepard gave her an appraising look. "Did you rest well, T'Soni?"

Liara's fingers plucked at her napkin. _Do not look at her mouth, do not look at her lips, do not imagine her hands on your feet…or anywhere else. She probably thought nothing of the kiss. _"I imagine I slept about as well as you did, Commander."

Caught mid-sip, Jane sputtered over the rim of her mug. For a moment, Liara thought she detected the hint of a smile, quickly hidden behind a strong hand as Jane swiped at her mouth. "Then I'd suggest some extra rack time. I don't generally sleep much."

Shepard turned her attention to Garrus and cracked a smile at Ashley. "The Gunnery Chief isn't giving you a hard time is she?"

"No, as a matter of fact, she was just telling me about her grandfather's role in the First Contact War."

"Unfortunately there isn't much to tell, Garrus." Ashley frowned. "He was the first and only human to surrender to an alien force. The Williams name wasn't worth much after that."

Garrus leaned back in his chair. "I've never understood that, Chief. I've studied that conflict in great detail, I just never put two and two together to know your grandfather was General Williams. My opinion? Given the circumstances, he made the right call. Turians tend to be very thorough in their pursuit of victory and Shanxi was cut off and under heavy orbital bombardment. General Williams' decision saved countless lives. Sure it was a hard choice, but it was a commendable one."

Ashley snorted. "He never got any commendations for it, that's for sure. I thought I'd never escape his shadow."

"Well you have." Garrus assured her. "Just think, we'll stop Saren, you'll reclaim your family's honor, and then you can make a lot of little Williams who will grow up with another hero to look up to. Besides me, of course."

Ashley laughed and stuck out her tongue. "You wish Vakarian. And I love my family, but adding to it isn't even on the radar at this point."

"What? You mean there's no forlorn, lovestruck colonial waiting for you back on, where was it again? Sirona?"

"Yes, it's Sirona, but no, I don't have a boyfriend." Ashley tilted her head toward Liara. "What about you, Liara? You must have love interests lined up across the galaxy! You're asari."

Across from her Jane stiffened and Liara could see the muscle in her jaw clench.

"One step forward and two steps back, Chief." Shepard said. "Don't make assumptions."

Liara leaned forward. "No, it is all right. I am familiar with the widely held beliefs about asari." She inclined her head toward Ashley. "Not all asari are as promiscuous as you seem to believe, Ashley."

"Sorry Liara! I didn't mean…"

Liara smiled. "I have learned not to take offense, Ashley. Your misconception is understandable given the large number of maidens who work in the, um, hospitality industry. Unfortunately, they seem to leave a much more lasting impression than those of us who choose academics and science over loud music and, well…a pole."

Ashley's laughter rang out. "Okay, okay. But c'mon. I mean, you're young and beautiful. You mean to tell me you don't have a man tucked away at a dig site somewhere?"

Flustered, Liara blushed. "No, I have dedicated my time and energy to the discovery and study of ancient artifacts. I have never…I mean, there has never…I do not have, as you say, a man." _By the Goddess, Liara! _She pressed her fingers against her feverishly warm forehead. "My work leaves little time for the pursuit of relationships, romantic or otherwise."

"Speaking of work, Shepard." Garrus said, drawing a relived sigh from Liara as she peeked at Shepard from behind her fingers. "Remember the doctor I was telling you about? Dr. Saleon?"

Shepard, who had been studying Liara with a pained expression, looked at Garrus. "Yeah. What about him?"

"I've got a buddy in C-Sec who has a similar interest in locating him. He forwarded the transponder codes for Saleon's ship to me. I was thinking…"

"You want to go after him." Jane said.

"The guy is a psychopath, Shepard. He preys on the poor and weak, and he needs to go down. I know our mission is priority, but the longer he's out there the more victims he's going to cut open and use for…test tubes."

Shepard nodded and turned to Liara. "So, T'Soni, you up for a detour?"

* * *

Liara stood with Jane and Garrus in the CIC overlooking the system schematics for Saleon's ship. The transponder codes led them to the Herschel system where they found the MSV Fedele hanging limply above the green planet Clugon. Scans of the vessel indicated the engines were offline, though life support and gravity appeared functional. Shepard had tried hailing the vessel but neither Dr. Saleon or his crew responded. Unfortunately, the salarian had engaged the ship's security protocols, effectively locking it down. Now they were trying to find a way to board her.

Shepard spoke into the comm. "Joker, can we override the ships security?"

"_Negative Commander_." Joker replied. "_I don't know what Dr. Saleon is doing over there, but_ _he's got more passkeys and encryptions than my porn…_"

"Joker!"

"_Sorry Commander_."

Liara placed a tentative hand on Shepard's arm. "A full system override is inadvisable, Shepard. We do not know the nature of the experiments Dr. Saleon was conducting within the laboratory modules he has added to the ship. Assuming he has locked the labs as well, it may be preferable to disengage the lab security protocols once we are on board and have conducted a more thorough scan of the environment."

Shepard nodded. "Good thinking, T'Soni."

"Damn it Shepard, all I need is to get into the door." Garrus said. The turian prowled the rear of the CIC restlessly, anxious to finally apprehend the elusive doctor.

"Relax Vakarian." Shepard said. "We'll get in, but once we do if you fall out of line I won't hesitate to put a round in your skinny turian ass. You can't just charge ahead."

Garrus stopped pacing to look at her. "I'm not _skinny_, Shepard. I'm streamlined."

Liara smothered her laughter with her hand as Shepard gave him a baleful look. "Streamlined?"

"Yes. Streamlined." He paused. "You know, Shepard." His voice drawled as his gloved hands patted his narrow midsection. "Some women prefer men who stay in shape."

A hot tingling sensation crept up the back of Liara's neck at Garrus's flirtatious tone. The feeling was so novel it took her a moment to identify. Goddess…she was jealous!

The feeling intensified as Shepard turned from the comm and deliberately approached the turian who stood several paces away. Walking a slow circle around him, she let her eyes trail slowly up and down the length of his armored body. "You know, Garrus, you're right." Her voice had dropped to a husky drawl. "Some women do prefer…_streamlined_ men." She came to a stop and peered up into his face.

The eyes of the command deck crew were on them now, all watching with mixed degrees of anticipation, horror, and blatant disbelief. Liara clutched at every word she said.

"Do you know why, Garrus?" Shepard purred. The sound made Liara's heart beat stutter even as she imagined blasting Garrus with a singularity.

Garrus's crest seemed to droop nervously as he looked down at her. "Er…no. Why?"

Shepard's smile was delicious as she placed her index finger in the center of Garrus's chest. "Because they fit through even the_ narrowest_ airlocks." Her smile fell, her face losing all pretense of warmth. " _When. You. Space. Them._" She enunciated each word with sharp jabs of her finger to his armored chest.

Behind them, Pressly burst out laughing, followed swiftly by the rest of the crew. Garrus was rendered so speechless even Shepard began to laugh. Eventually Garrus's mandibles quivered as he chuckled along. Liara wasn't convinced of the humor in the situation, though the idea of spacing Garrus held a certain appeal.

As Shepard returned her attention to the schematics, Garrus ambled over to where Liara stood and leaned casually against a nearby console. "So I guess she's trying to say she isn't into those of us who are more fit than average."

Liara was still watching Shepard as Garrus spoke, and at that exact moment Shepard turned and their eyes met, a lightning strike of heat, then Shepard was turning back to the monitor. "No, Garrus, I think she was trying to say she's not into _you_."

Garrus followed the direction of Liara's gaze, and nodded. "I see."

"Tali?" Shepard said into the comm. "I'm sending you some specs. Can you whip up a decryption protocol? I need to get through that door."

"_I've got them, Shepard_." There was a short pause. "_Yes, I could write this in my sleep. Give me two minutes, and you'll have it_."

"Fantastic, Tali. Send it to my omni as soon as it's done…. Joker, clamp us to that damn ship. We're going in."

"_Aye, aye, Commander_."

They waited inside the airlock as Joker deftly maneuvered the Normandy into position. The dull thud of the clamps engaging vibrated through Liara's feet just as Shepard's omni-tool flashed, indicating Tali had sent the decryption key.

Shepard looked at them. "Alright, let's go."

They proceeded through the docking tube to the door where Shepard palmed the door lock and engaged the decryption program. Through the narrow ovals of the docking tube windows, Liara could see Clugon, bright and green against the black vastness of space, and it reminded her of Jane's eyes.

Those eyes were on her as she turned. "Alright, we're in. Let's go."

The door opened into a cargo bay, empty and featureless save for the glowing green light of the door control directly ahead.

"At least we won't have to fight to get through this one." Shepard said. She cast a sideways glance at Garrus. He was tense, alert, his hands repeatedly squeezing and relaxing against his rifle. "Remember what I said, Vakarian. My bullet in your tough turian ass."

"I believe the word you used was skinny, Shepard."

Shepard smiled and took point. "Come on."

The next door opened and Shepard rocked back on her heels, covering her nose with a forearm. "What the hell is that _smell_?" A putrid stench permeated the air, the smell was sweet and cloying, like overripe fruit and an infected wound.

Liara's omni was already up and running environmental checks. "There are no airborne biological contaminants, thank the Goddess."

The smell grew as they neared the next door. With her rifle at the ready, Shepard hit the control panel. The door slid open to reveal a cavernous central cargo hold. Hundreds of crates were stacked throughout the room creating a labyrinth of narrow paths.

"I don't have a good feeling about this, Shepard." Garrus said.

Shepard smirked. "Ah, hell Garrus. Look on the bright side. You're so streamlined you'll fit right through those narrow little rows."

Garrus's look was deadpan. "So _now _I'm streamlined…thanks."

Shepard looked over her shoulder at Liara. "Stay close to me."

"And now my feelings are hurt." Garrus drawled.

Shepard snorted as she entered the room and veered left with Liara close on her heels. Garrus broke right and approached the edge of the first row of crates. Seeing nothing, Shepard signaled to Garrus to proceed on the right while she and Liara continued to the left. They had gone no more that half a dozen paces when a figure shuffled from between the crates ahead of them, still several yards away. Liara thought for a moment it was one of the crew, until it stepped forward and into a narrow beam of light from overhead.

"I think we just found the source of the smell." Shepard said softly.

It had been human once. A man, judging by his clothing. He looked at them, tilting his head unnaturally far to the right. His tortured face was fixed in the permanent rictus of a smile and his skin was too large for his emaciated frame. His arms hung stiffly at his sides, elbows locked straight, and a pale green liquid oozed from wounds that crisscrossed his skeletal chest. He righted his head and groaned, a deep, eerie, wet sound.

"Now that's just gross." Shepard said.

The creeper leaned back and spewed a gelatinous stream of slime from his mouth that hit the deck with a thwack where it sizzled and steamed. The fumes rising from the sludge made Liara's eyes water.

Her biotics flared, wreathing her in a nimbus of blue as she lifted the creeper from the deck and Shepard opened fire. The creature exploded with a wet splash and fell to the floor.

"I think they are toxic, Shepard." Liara said.

"Smells that way to me. Keep your eyes open; there are likely more." Shepard tapped her comm. "Garrus, keep a look out for…"

"_Really skinny things that vomit acid_?" There was a loud report of gunfire from the far side of the room. "_Yeah, I just saw one. It's now a lumpy puddle. You okay over there_?"

"We're good. Meet me at the far corner, your side. We're working our way there through this crate maze."

They continued to their left, encountering four more of the creatures before reaching the back wall. Though they had been in the room for less than five minutes, to Liara it felt like five hours. They began working their way across the room, finally reaching a point between the towering crates that permitted them to walk side by side, when another creeper appeared directly in front of them. The creature shuffled sideways out of an impossibly narrow gap, already leaning back to spit its vile acid. Shepard's hand clamped around Liara's arm pulling her back even as she fired at a containment canister by the creature's feet. The canister exploded with a blinding flash and an enormous roar.

"Oh hell." Shepard said, as the nearby crates began to topple. She wrapped her arms around Liara's waist and yanked them sideways into a channel so thin they almost didn't fit.

Breathing heavily, Shepard grinned crookedly. "That didn't work out exactly as planned."

"_Commander, are you okay? That was one hell of a blast followed by one hell of a crash_." Garrus's voice sounded over the open channel.

"Yeah, I wouldn't advise shooting the containment canisters. We're going to have to back track a bit, but we should be there soon."

Liara wasn't listening. She was too distracted by the sound of her heart pounding in her ears, and the rapid and steady thump of Jane's heartbeat vibrating against her hands. Jane had inadvertently wedged them in so that they were pressed together, with Jane's arms still wrapped around her and Liara's arms trapped against her chest. She could feel every glorious inch of Jane pressed against her through her light armor. Liara suddenly found herself wondering if there was something wrong with her that her attraction to Jane overrode the fact that they were in a cargo bay that smelled like a malfunctioning recycling unit and was crawling with half dead laboratory experiments.

"I think the coast is clear." Jane's breath fanned against her cheek in unsteady bursts.

Too afraid to speak, or turn her head forward, Liara nodded.

Jane shifted slightly, then paused, releasing her one handed grip on Liara's waist. "I, uh, I think you're going to have to move your arms for us to get out of here." With so little room in which to maneuver, Jane was forced to lift her arms, holding her assault rifle overhead while Liara slid her hands free.

"Li, are you okay?" Shepard asked, her voice colored with concern. "You're shaking; are you hurt? Did I hurt you?"

"No." She managed to squeak. She could feel the rapid rise and fall of Jane's chest against hers, every motion sending shocks through her system.

"Okay…uh, good…fuck." Shepard leaned forward and rested her lips against her cheek. _Goddess!_ She instinctively pressed forward and Jane swiftly brought her free hand down, recapturing her waist.

Jane's voice was a low rasp against her cheek. "We need to go…. damn." Jane's lips grazed the corner of her mouth and she whimpered as Jane trembled against her. "Not here…like this. Let's go."

Liara forced her feet to move and they sidled out together. Once free, she pitched forward, gulping in foul air. Beside her Jane reached out and grasped her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. She nodded to their right, all business. "It's this way."

Garrus was waiting for them when they reached the rear door of the cargo hold moments later

"For the record, Commander, I just want to say that those creepers are skinny…unlike me."

Shepard smirked. "Yeah, yeah. Keep trying, Vakarian."

With Shepard at the lead they continued forward until they reached the nose of the ship. Garrus investigated the bridge, but there was no sign of a pilot or personnel.

"That's probably what those things we killed out there used to be." Jane said, her voice harsh.

"I told you this guy was a psychopath." Garrus said.

"There is only one lab remaining." Liara tilted her head toward the door at her side.

Shepard approached the door, and slapped her palm against the control panel. The door slid open and a dark salarian wearing a stained lab coat rushed forward.

"Thank you! Thank you for saving me from those…things." His high pitched voice warbled.

"That's him alright, Commander. That's Dr. Saleon. I'd know this wretch anywhere." Garrus growled.

"What?" The salarian said. "My name is Heart. Dr. Heart. Please, get me out of here!"

Shepard looked to Garrus for confirmation. "You're certain it's him?"

Garrus's eyes remained riveted to Dr. Saleon as he nodded curtly. "I should harvest your organs myself, Saleon, but that would require a great deal of effort and be much less satisfactory than simply putting a bullet in your head."

Liara started. The doctor had done horrible things, yes, but what Garrus described wasn't justice, it was an execution.

"What?" The doctor said, his large eyes shining. "He's crazy! Don't let him do this to me!"

Shepard looked to Garrus and then to Liara; her eyes were hard and her expression unreadable. She seemed conflicted for a moment, before setting her jaw and turning back to the scientist.

"We'll take him in, turn him over to the military or C-Sec." Shepard said.

"What?" Garrus said, stunned. "But we _have _him. We can't let him get away, Shepard, not again!

Shepard rounded on Garrus. "If he dies we'll never know what he's done, or to whom. Think, Garrus! Who knows how many people he's infected with whatever the hell he did to the crew, or how many bodies are walking around with extra organs he's just waiting to harvest. If he isn't questioned we'll never know. Don't worry; he'll do his time."

"I thought you, of all people, would understand, Shepard!" Garrus spat. "You're a spectre, the damn butcher…"

Shepard lunged forward, sliding her hands into the collar of Garrus's armor as she drove him backward and slammed him against the wall so hard his head jerked back, snapping one of the metallic horns of his crest. Liara had seen anger before, but never like this. It heated the room, practically oozing from Shepard's skin. Liara could see the outline of the muscles in her forearms as they bunched and trembled under her armor.

"Yes, goddammit, I am." Shepard hissed. It was a raw sound, bleeding like a wound torn open. "But just because I _can_ act above the law, doesn't mean I should! I will _not_ sacrifice innocents and I will _not_ allow you to make the same fucking mistakes I made! There is a _price _Garrus, and it's too…"

The cold muzzle of a pistol carved a crescent into Liara's temple as the slim salarian's arm snaked around her chest and pulled her sharply back against him. She had been so wrapped up in Shepard's volcanic response she hadn't seen Saleon move. He smelled like formaldehyde and death.

"One wisp of blue and you die asari." Dr. Saleon's breath was hot and foul against her skin as he pulled her farther back into the room.

"Shepard!" Liara screamed.

At the sound of her voice Shepard turned, her face a mask of fury as she took in the sight of Liara held at gunpoint.

Take me in?" Saleon laughed harshly. "I know you. You're the butcher of Torfan. You don't believe in innocence, or mercy. Your going to kill me…."

Liara had no time to react. There was a single, sharp pop and a bright red muzzle flash as Shepard fired. She had drawn her pistol so quickly the motion was a blur and she had pulled the trigger without hesitation.

Something wet splattered against the side of Liara's neck and ran down under her collar. The gouging pistol at her head and the vice-like grip across her chest fell away as Dr. Saleon slumped to the floor behind her. Her eyes never left the tortured mask of Shepard's face.

Liara slumped, gasping, before rushing to Jane. "Shepard?" She wanted to reach out and touch her, but Jane stood like a statue, every muscle tight. Her pulse beat rapidly at the base of her neck as if trying to escape the confines of her skin. She looked brittle, and Liara feared she would shatter at the contact.

Shepard's eyes flicked up, green orbs of suffering. "Are you injured?" She was so tense her jaw barely moved as she spoke.

Liara shook her head. "N..no. I am unharmed, Shepard."

A shudder passed through her and she nodded, a slight move, short and sharp.

"Commander, I…" Garrus spoke from behind them.

Jane exploded, rounding on Garrus. There was a sharp snap as her fist connected with his jaw, knocking him to the floor. Shepard stood over his sprawled form, loosely shaking her hand. "Don't ever fucking question me again."

Fighting the urge to go after her immediately, Liara helped Garrus to his feet as Shepard stalked through the lab door. He rubbed at his mandible with a gloved talon, his eyes downcast. "Damn." His gaze flitted to Saleon's still form on the floor of the lab. "I wanted him to go down, Liara, but not like that."

Liara brushed his hand away from his face to examine his jaw. "Are you injured, Garrus?"

His large hand dwarfed hers as he reached up and removed it from his cheek. "No…I'm fine. Are you okay?"

Liara nodded. "I am more worried about the Commander."

"I screwed up Liara; I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"

Liara stopped him with a squeeze of her hand. "You do not need to apologize to _me_, Garrus."

He nodded. "You're right." He looked around the lab. "Let's get out of here. This place stinks."

When they returned to the Normandy, Liara went in search of Jane. She desperately needed a shower. She smelled horrible and her neck was sticky with what she hoped was only Dr. Soleon's blood. But the shower took second place to locating Shepard. Jane was hurt and hurting. The anguish and self-loathing on her face still burned fresh in Liara's mind and it broke her heart.

She darted through the CIC, the crew parting before her as she passed, whether from the stench surrounding her or the gore on her armor Liara couldn't tell. Taking the stairs two at a time she angled for the med bay as soon as her feet hit the crew deck and charged through the door.

"Where is Shepard?" The med bay was empty save for Dr. Chakwas whose look of surprise quickly morphed to one of concern as she looked up at Liara from her desk.

"Liara? Goodness child, what happened to you?"

Liara waved her away with a quick motion of her hand. "I am well. There was an…incident aboard the Fedele. The Commander is very upset, and I strongly suspect she fractured her hand."

Liara had heard the bone snap when Shepard punched Garrus. Initially she thought it was Garrus's mandible, but aside from being streamlined, turians apparently had very tough and durable plating.

"Tell me." Dr. Chakwas said.

Liara quickly filled her in on the events that had transpired aboard the Fedele.

"That poor dear." Chakwas shook her head sadly. "For every success, a failure."

"Dr. Chawas, why does Jane…why does Shepard hate herself so much?" Liara asked quietly.

"I am not entirely certain I understand myself, Liara." Dr. Chakwas sighed. "I have never seen a more dedicated soldier than Shepard, but she's almost…too dedicated. She holds herself to impossibly high standards, and holds herself personally accountable for…well, for pretty much everything."

"I…I have read her files, Karin." Liara confessed. "All of them."

Chakwas's brows lifted for a moment. "I see. I can't say I'm surprised."

"I needed to know what had happened to her, what had changed her so much from the girl I met." Liara swiped a hand across her brow. "She is very different, Karin, then sometimes…she is not, and.."

"That is because _you_ are here, Liara." Dr. Chakwas smiled softly. "Since we rescued you from Therum, the Commander has been like an icicle slowly melting, drip by drip."

Liara flushed. "I would like to think that is true, Doctor, but I am not sure. Her history…"

Dr. Chakwas waved her hand dismissively. "You won't find the answers you seek there, I am afraid."

Liara was surprised. "The files were very comprehensive."

"Yes, yes…all the personnel and medical files are there…the psychological evaluations and return to duty releases. I have seen them. The Alliance psychiatrists did not serve her well, I am afraid. The entirety of her PTSD screenings could fit into a thimble."

In her memory she could see Jane's young hand demonstrating the size of a thimble and a wave of sadness washed over her.

"What do you suggest Dr. Chakwas?" Liara asked softly.

The doctor looked thoughtful for a moment. "Two things, the first of which is time."

"Time?"

"Yes, approaching the Commander when she is in a foul mood is not always wise, or safe. Give her some time to calm down before you speak with her, but do talk to her. Heaven knows when she ruminates on things too long she invariably comes to the wrong conclusion."

"But her hand…"

"I will tend to her hand; I promise.

"What was the second thing?"

Chakwas put her hand over her nose. "Please go shower and change out of that armor! You stink to high heaven and I can't tell for sure, but I think there is gray matter drying on your collar."


	9. Chapter 9

Garrus stood outside Shepard's door trying to work up the nerve to knock.

It wasn't fear that stayed his hand. He wasn't afraid of the Commander, though she did pack quite a punch for a relatively small and female human. It was guilt that made him hesitate. Sure, it had hurt when Shepard hit him, but the ache in his jaw was nothing compared to the hot slug of shame that had ripped into his gut when he'd seen Liara held at gunpoint by Saleon and known it was his fault, when he had seen the look on Shepard's face after he called her a butcher. Guilt was new, and he didn't like it. As a rule, turians didn't feel…guilty. But he wasn't a model turian.

While Garrus appreciated his racial heritage, he had never entirely bought into it. Turians weren't born so much as they were made, forcefully injected into a die of discipline, kept under intense pressure with strong expectations of filial and societal duty, and once fully formed and properly shaped, ejected from the mold to a life of service where responsibility and accountability were absolutes. Like most turians, Garrus believed in these things down to his spurs, but his approach to them was…atypical, at best. As a result, his personnel file had more flags than the combined galactic embassies.

Because he wasn't a model turian, he had never lost sleep over failing to live up to the expectations of his father, his supervisor, or his peers. However, he was truly ashamed for failing Commander Shepard. She knew his history and his shortcomings, yet she had invited him join the Normandy's crew anyway. She had given him a rare opportunity to escape the procedural red tape of C-Sec and see first hand how a Spectre worked, and she had made her expectations clear from the beginning. He had failed to uphold his end of the bargain. She had rightfully expected more of him, and he had let her down.

Lifting a gloved talon, he knocked on Shepard's door.

"Enter."

Shepard sat on the foot of her bed cradling her hand. Like him, she was still in her armor, and the room smelled vaguely of the Fedele's cargo hold. Her eyes narrowed to slits as he walked in.

"What do you want Vakarian?"

He paused several feet away feeling it didn't hurt to be careful. She didn't want him here and she still had one good hand. "As a rule, Shepard, turians aren't big on apologies. Most turians set such stock in always doing the right thing, well…apologies aren't generally necessary." He shuffled his feet as her eyes drilled into him. "I'm sure you've realized by now, I'm not like most turians. I'm more handsome than most for one thing, but unfortunately I also tend to screw up more often. Now, I can't do anything about being better looking, but I can do something about screwing up." He blew out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry, Shepard. I should never have…"

"I don't want your goddamn apology, Garrus." Her voice was flat and hard, like hammered metal.

"I see…"

"No, you don't see! That's the problem!" She said, craning her head back to look into his eyes. He didn't know what she saw there, but her shoulders rounded in response. She sighed. "Sit down, damn it, looking up at you is giving me a neck condition."

Garrus hooked the desk chair and pulled it over so he could sit facing her. He eyed her hand as he lowered himself into the chair. Her knuckles were scraped and bloody, and the back of her hand was grossly swollen and red.

"How's your face?" Shepard said, studying the line of his jaw.

"Better than your hand." Garrus leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "I think you should take me back to the Citadel, Shepard."

"What?" She said, stunned. "Why?"

The strength of her response surprised him; he was certain she would not only agree, but that she would be happy to see him gone.

"I made the wrong call. I challenged your decision when I shouldn't have, in a way that was…unacceptable." He shrugged. "You made your position clear when you invited me on board. Get the job done right, not fast, and I…well I blew it, today. I didn't stop to think about Saleon's victims, or even justice; I wanted revenge. I got angry, and I said some things…"

"So you screwed up and now you want to, what? Quit?" Shepard said. "Christ, Garrus, I never figured you for a runner."

Garrus sat up. "I'm not running, I'm…"

"The hell you're not!" Shepard said. "You didn't like C-Sec's rules, so you ran! You don't like the way _I _do things, so you want to run! Where are you going to go, Garrus? What are you going to do? Are you going to merc yourself out? No fucking rules that way, right? No goddamn regulations! No consequences?"

"Commander, I…"

"Shut the hell up!" Shepard snapped. "Do you want to help me stop Saren?"

"Of course I do!"

Her good hand whipped out and grabbed his collar, pulling him forward until their foreheads touched. Her eyes, alive with anger, cut through him like lasers. "You will never, _ever_ question my orders again. You not only compromised the mission today, Garrus, you endangered a member of your squad!"

Garrus grimaced and nodded. "It won't happen again." He meant it. Shepard could be as tough as talons, but she got the job done, and she was fair. And he liked her, damn it.

"If you ever do, if you even think about it, then spirits help you, Garrus Vakarian." She shoved him back, wincing as the motion jostled her injured hand.

He sat quietly as she studied him for a long moment before speaking. "You're right, you're not like most turians. You listen, and watch, and somewhere inside that hard head of yours you…you believe in a greater good. That's what I need. I don't need you to be like most turians; I need you to think before you act, and I need you to trust me."

His mandibles quivered. "I'm not certain if that was a compliment, or an insult, Commander."

He paused for a moment, weighing the decision to say nothing or ask gently. He wasn't the best at judging human moods, but even he could tell Shepard's earlier punch had carried extra weight behind it motivated by more than his insubordination.

"So, T'Soni?" He kept his voice casual and light.

"What about her?"

"It seemed like there was something between you two on Therum, and then…"

"Jealous Vakarian?"

"Crushed." He recognized the evasive maneuver for what it was; if she didn't want to talk about it, he wasn't going to push. "I may never recover."

Shepard smiled, a fleeting smile, gone too quickly and replaced by an expression he couldn't quite read. "I could have killed her today, Garrus. What if I'd missed? What if Saleon had flinched, or moved?"

The expression was fear, he realized. It appeared the great Commander Shepard was human after all. "I've seen you shoot, Shepard. At that range, shooting a head that size? Never."

"But what if I had? Liara would…she could…"

"No Shepard." He eyed her. "Did I ever tell you about the time I almost shot a kid?"

Shepard shook her head.

"My ID unit had been following leads on a drug dealer for nearly two months. Not some dirty-kneed, small time vent rat, a major player pushing red sand cut with creeper. It was a mess; we had crazy biotics shredding the wards trying to lift and throw things that weren't even there.

Anyway, after months of tracking the guy, we finally had him staked out. The take should have gone off clean. We had a mole, a scheduled time for the drop, the dealer." Garrus threw up his hands. "It fell apart."

"What happened?"

"He was at the shuttle, ready to make the deal and I had him in my cross-hairs as insurance. The only thing missing was the unit that was supposed to arrest him; they were late. Late!" He shook his head. "My partners were watching their chronos and I was watching through my scope. The unit was on their way but we all knew they'd never make it in time."

"So you took the shot."

Garrus nodded. "Yes, I did. I was lined up and ready to go. It was late, so there was no pedestrian traffic or so I thought. I pull the trigger, but just as I did…I mean the instant I pulled the trigger, this mom appeared out of nowhere carrying her kid on her shoulders. Right in my line of fire. I was so focused on taking out the dealer I never saw her."

"Damn.. what happened?"

"I got the dealer, but I swear I saw that kid's hair ruffle through the scope as the round went by. He even reached up and touched his head." Garrus mimed the action and shrugged. "I was a mess after that. I kept having nightmares about what I had almost done and I was second guessing every shot I made. I was so torn up I eventually tracked the kid and his mother down and went to talk to her just to convince myself he was okay."

"What did she say?"

"I didn't tell her." Garrus laughed. "She had no idea who I was. Hell, she didn't even recall the night it happened. So, I didn't tell her I almost killed her kid. What was the point? It could have happened, but it didn't." He leaned forward. "My point is, Shepard, you can't do this to yourself, not now, not ever. You can't carry guilt for something that might have happened. A person can't move under that kind of pressure. I know." He sat up. "You didn't miss. Saleon is dead, Liara is safe. That's it; nothing else exists."

Shepard nodded. "Thanks Garrus." She canted her head sideways and looked at him. "You know, you're not so bad when you're not being an insubordinate ass."

"That's _streamlined_, insubordinate ass, Commander."

"Shut up, Garrus."


	10. Chapter 10

Liara crouched behind a storage crate alongside Lizbeth Baynham and peered into the recesses of the skyway weigh station in which the remaining ExoGeni staff had taken refuge when the geth attacked Feros.

"What the hell is going on?" Shepard whispered.

Liara glanced cautiously at Shepard from the corner of her eye. Jane had been increasingly irritable as the day progressed and Liara, mindful of Chakwas's warnings, was growing concerned, but as the young woman beside her tensed, she shifted her attention back to the scene in front of her.

At the bottom of the ramp leading into the bunker, Ethan Jeong, the anxious corporate representative they had met earlier, and Lizbeth's mother, Juliana were engaged in a heated argument. From their current position it was difficult to hear exactly what was being said, but Jeong, who Liara had thought was unstable before, was clearly agitated: red faced and gesticulating wildly with a pistol held loosely in one hand. He finally motioned for a security officer to restrain Juliana.

When the officer began to drag her mother away, Lizbeth bolted down the ramp. "Get away from her you son of a bitch!"

At the ringing sound of Lizbeth's voice, Jeong whirled to face her. "You!" His eyes searched farther up the ramp. "All of you! Come out where I can see you!"

Rising to her feet, Shepard slid brazenly across the crate and into the open leaving Liara and Garrus little choice but to follow.

As the trio proceeded into the weigh station, Juliana broke free from the security officer and ran forward to embrace her daughter. Liara allowed herself a small smile, ignoring the tug of grief from her own recent loss. It was good to see a small moment of happiness here amid the devastation that had been wrought by the geth.

The smile fell as they neared Jeong.

"Shepard." His upper lip curled in a sneer. "I knew it was too much to hope the geth would kill you. I found some interesting information about you in the ExoGeni database. I know what you did on Torfan."

Liara paled and her eyes sought out Jane. _Goddess, would it never stop. _

They hadn't really spoken since the Fedele. Whenever Liara had tried to seek Jane out, she was always conveniently unavailable. Though Shepard and Garrus had repaired the damage between them, and Jane had continued to join the crew during meals, Liara's arrival invariably heralded an an unexpected task requiring Jane's immediate attention elsewhere. Liara fumbled with English idioms, but she understood the language of Jane's evasion all too well. Her headaches were worsening.

Now, deeply etched lines of pain furrowed her brow, and her narrowed gaze was menacing, dark and shadowed with fatigue as she faced Jeong. Her freckles stood out in stark contrast to the paleness of her skin, and her mouth was twisted into a cruel parody of a smile.

Something was wrong; this wasn't Jane…her Jane.

"Good, then you know what I'm capable of." Jane's voice was a bullet hitting its mark.

Jeong's sneer fell and he clutched awkwardly at the pistol. "It doesn't have to get bloody."

Shepard's hand lashed forward, striking Jeong's wrist. Liara heard a snap and the gun fell with a rattling clatter.

Jeong pulled back his arm with a shriek and crumpled to his knees."You Alliance bitch! You broke my arm!"

Liara watched with mounting tension as Shepard stepped beside him. Her malevolent smile widened as she slowly reached forward and ran her fingers through his short, cropped hair. The gesture was almost loving until she clenched her fingers and yanked his head sharply back. Jeong sputtered and tried to pull away but Shepard held him fast. All around them, ExoGeni security officers nervously shifted and shuffled.

"First you say you want the geth to kill me, then you call me a bitch." Shepard's voice was ice. "Tell me why I shouldn't just kill you now you fucking bean counter?"

She would do it, Liara realized with a start. She could read Jane's intent in the tense set of her shoulders and the feral gleam in her eyes. She would do it, and it would be one more grievous act added to the burden of grief and guilt Jane already bore. No. This wasn't Jane; Liara wouldn't let this happen.

She calmly walked to Jane's side. "Shepard." Inside, she was shaking, terrified by the stranger who stood before her wearing Jane's skin, but she kept her voice firm and low. "Don't."

Shepard pulled her eyes away from Jeong and looked up at Liara. For a heartbeat, Liara wasn't sure if Jane even recognized her, but the sinister light in her eyes slowly faded and she nodded stiffly. "You're right; we may need him." Jane released her grip and Jeong fell to the ground. She gave Liara a measured look before pivoting on her heel and walking away.

Liara turned her back and covered her mouth with her hand, blinking back tears. So far, Feros had been a nightmare of geth, secrets, and lies and Jane had been pushing herself hard…too hard. Goddess! How much longer until she collapsed again? How much more could she take?

As Liara spun back around, Garrus caught her eye, his expression a querying combination of worry and confusion as he jerked his head sideways toward Shepard who now stood conversing with the Baynhams. Liara lifted her shoulders in silent response, unsure of what to say. Wiping her eyes with her hands, she slowly pushed her way through the staff surrounding Jeong and moved to Shepard's side. It took all of her strength not to reach for Shepard's hand.

"Yes, mother." Lizbeth was saying. "That's why Jeong lied to you about the colonists being dead; ExoGeni was studying the telepathic powers of the Thorian. They knew it was infecting the colonists, controlling them."

Juliana looked at Shepard. "What do we do now, Commander? We can't stay_ here_, or allow ExoGeni to…purge the colony."

"What?" Liara said. "What do you mean, purge?"

"After you destroyed the geth ship, communications came back online. ExoGeni wants to eliminate all the colonists. That's what Jeong and I were arguing about when you arrived. He said there was something at Zhu's Hope more valuable than the colonists, I just didn't know what he meant."

Beside her, Jane stiffened. Liara stepped as close to her as she dared, and gently placed the tips of her fingers against Jane's elbow. It was the the lightest of contacts, but Jane seemed calmed by it.

"Is there any way to help the colonists?" Jane said. "What if we kill the Thorian?"

"Killing it might eliminate the infection…maybe." Lizbeth said. "But there's a problem. I looked through all the research ExoGeni's been doing on this thing. The colonists are very protective of the Thorian. They won't let just anyone go near it."

"And they're already mentally unstable." Shepard tugged at her bottom lip. "Damn it, I don't want to hurt them. It's not their fault."

"Actually, Commander, there may be a way."

* * *

Liara skidded to a halt against a low concrete barrier and knelt in cover, chest heaving and lungs burning as the liquefied remains of a thorian creeper ran in slimy rivulets down her armor and pooled on the ground at her feet. A moment later, Shepard dove in beside her followed shortly by Garrus, who slammed his back against a nearby corner and drooped, awaiting orders. He caught Liara's eye and his mouth stretched slightly, a small turian smile of reassurance.

"All clear, Shepard" Liara panted.

Shepard nodded grimly. She seemed to have aged years since arriving on Feros. Drying chunks of green splatter stood out against her sallow skin and she moved stiffly, as if every motion was a painful chore. Breathing heavily, she rolled onto her back and squinted up at the sky.

"Shepard…we should rest."

Armed with modified gas grenades designed to incapacitate the hostile colonists, they had left the weigh station hours ago. Since then, they had fought through dozens of the skeletal yet surprisingly tough minions of the thorian, slowly gaining ground as they worked their way to the freighter at the center of the colony. Thanks to Shepard's determination and total disregard for her own personal safety they had managed to keep from injuring the colonists, but they were all exhausted. Shepard had transcended mere exhaustion long ago; Liara could only guess what fueled her now.

"We're almost there, Liara." Shepard rolled over and forced herself into a crouched position. "Let's just find the damn Thorian. Maybe we'll find out exactly what Saren was after and I can…" She winced and pressed her head against her arm.

"Shepard?"

"It's…it's nothing, Li. I'm…" She paused and her voice dropped to a husky whisper. "I don't want to lie to you, so just…don't ask."

She reached into her kit and pulled out another grenade, holding it loosely within the cage of her fingers. "Let's go."

They continued forward from their current position, moving silently until they reached a crate nestled alongside the capped end of the re-purposed freighter. Shepard slid sideways and peered around the edge before pulling her head back.

"Fuck." She screwed her eyes closed and her knuckles whitened against the metal casing of the grenade.

Kneeling, Liara peered around the corner, and her heart dropped. In the distance she could see their goal, the crane controls to lift the section of the Borealis covering the entrance to the Thorian. Dormant creepers littered the open expanse between their current position and the controls, but they were not the cause of Jane's sharp reaction. There were two colonists remaining, one at the controls on the far end of the open area and another less than ten yards away in a defensive position behind a crate. Shepard had only one grenade left.

She slid back behind the corner and knelt before Jane, speaking softly. "There has got to be a way…I could lure them closer together…"

"The creepers will wake up as soon as anything moves out there. No. Absolutely not, it's too dangerous."

From his nearby position, Garrus had seen the predicament as well. He ducked, crept over. "Commander, I can…"

"No." Shepard said, her voice thick with misery. "I'll do it. Neither of you are to fire at the colonists, do I make myself clear?"

Garrus reluctantly nodded.

"Shepard!" Liara clutched at Jane's arm as her heart pounded painfully against her ribs. Jane abhorred the loss of innocent life and despite the fact the colonists would kill them in an instant if they could, they were innocent.

Shepard turned to her, her voice a bare, strained whisper. "Please, Li…just do as I say. You've never.." She hesitated and her eyes hardened. "This is what I do. It's who I am." Without another word, Shepard gripped the grenade, cloaked, and slid from behind the crate.

Liara wanted to beg her not to go. To beg her, just this once, to let someone else shoulder the burden for her.

Garrus put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. "She's a good person Liara, she just doesn't know it."

Liara reached up and covered Garrus's hand with her own, squeezing her eyes closed until she heard the distinctive pop of the grenade. Gripping her pistol, she dashed out into the open.

The creepers woke, unfolding and jerking upright like grim puppets. Glowing blue, she lifted the first two leaving Garrus to shoot them while she ran on to throw another against the freighter. It hit with a dull, wet thud and burst. Skidding to a stop behind a crate, she scanned the area, looking for Jane. Her shields flared as a creeper she hadn't seen lurched behind her, spraying venom with a gurgling hiss. As she turned to fire, it's head exploded with a wet splash and Shepard appeared directly behind it, pistol in hand and eyes flashing with fear.

"Are you okay?"

Liara only had time to nod before she was gone as quickly as she had appeared.

Across the port she could see the last colonist staring grimly over the field. She stood in the open in front of the crane controls making no pretense at finding cover. Liara found herself wondering what sort of work she had done here, and if she was someone's partner, or someone's mother. She blanched when she realized Jane must have similar thoughts. Her thoughts were cut off as more creepers began to wake.

She and Garrus finished off the last of them together, but as intent as they were on the gruesome task, neither missed the single, sharp report of Shepard's pistol echoing off the freighter or the weight of the silence that settled over the area like a blanket when the rapid chatter of the colonists assault rifle abruptly stopped.

Liara ran. She found Shepard leaning over the crane controls. Her knuckles were white against the frame of the console, shoulders bowed. Just as Liara lifted her hand to place it on Shepard's arm, Shepard cocked her head to one side and spun, pistol raised and eyes alert.

Fai Dan, the colony leader, staggered out of the Borealis. His clothing was stained and torn, his forehead wrinkled with concentration as he focused on the simple act of putting one foot in front of the other.

Liara stumbled as Shepard pushed her aside and kept her weapon aimed at Fai Dan. Garrus started to raise his rifle, but a wave of Shepard's hand checked him.

Fai Dan shuffled closer. "I…I tried to fight it, but it gets in your _head_. You can't imagine the_ pain_."

Shepard's aim faltered. "What…what did you say?" Her voice was tight and desperate.

At the strained sound of Shepard's voice Liara turned. Shepard's eyes were looking at Fai Dan, but her gaze was far away…looking inward, Liara realized with a start.

"I was supposed to be their leader..these people…they _trusted _me." Fai Dan reached for his hip and drew his pistol with a shaking hand.

"I was their leader and they trusted me." Shepard whispered.

"Shepard?" Liara said softly.

"It wants me to stop you…but I won't." Struggling against the Thorian's influence, Fai Dan raised the pistol to his temple.

Shepard's eyes snapped into focus. Her gun whipped up and she pulled the trigger. A fountain of red erupted from the back of Fai Dan's skull and he crumpled to the ground. Shepard's expression was grim as she calmly shipped her pistol and turned back to the crane controls.

"What the hell just happened?" Garrus's eyes drifted from the cold gun in the dirt at Fai Dan's side to the pistol at Shepard's back.

"A mercy killing, Vakarian." Shepard tapped the control pad and the center section of the Borealis lifted, revealing hidden stairs. "Let's go." Shepard turned and walked away.

Shivering at her words, Liara followed.

* * *

The floor trembled violently as the last neural node separated from the girder and the weight of the Thorian shifted downward. Liara pitched forward to her knees and stared down at the vile creature. It groaned, whether from pain, frustration, or fear she could not tell, and she half expected to see vine-like tentacles erupt from its body and latch on to the lip of the pit over which it hovered. She was not entirely able to reconcile that the bulbous monstrosity was not an animal capable of independent movement. Finally, gravity completed the task they had started. The creature screamed, an ancient and hollow cry of desperation and plummeted to its death.

"Are you okay, Liara?" Garrus hobbled to her side and held out a gloved talon which she accepted gratefully as she struggled to her feet.

"Yes, I…where is Shepard?" She had lost sight of Jane in the last rush of creepers and asari thralls. "Shepard!"

A low moan sounded from the doorway to the nearby stairs and Liara rushed to Jane's side. Jane sat with her back propped against the dusty wall, and her head in her hands.

Liara tumbled to her knees. "Shepard, are you hurt?" Ignoring Jane's moan of protest, Liara brushed her hands aside and cupped her chin, tilting her face toward the light. Her chin was abraded, and her brow lacerated, but Liara could detect no other obvious injuries and she breathed a small sigh of relief, unable to help noticing that even here amid the dirt, dust, and slime Jane was beautiful. Liara trailed her thumb lightly across Jane's cheek and her eyes fluttered open.

"It is done Jane. We can go back…to the Normandy, and you can rest." She had started to say home. Anywhere Jane was, was home for her, even if Jane did habitually avoid her.

Jane's eyes hardened. "We're not done. We still don't have any idea what 'knowledge' the Thorian gave Saren."

Releasing Jane's chin, Liara sat back on her heels. "Shepard, what more can we do?"

Shepard growled as her hands returned to her head. "I thought…I thought I would find something that would help." She wrapped on her forehead with her knuckles.

"Something to help your headaches?" Liara said. "But why….

"I don't know!" Shepard snapped. "Saren is looking for ties to the protheans. I thought that if I could find more specific information about them that maybe it could help me sort out whatever the hell the beacon put in here!" Shepard knocked her head again. She sighed and squinted up at Liara. "Damn it, I'm sorry, Li. I'm just so damn t_ired_, and it hurts..and.."

"I know." Liara said softly as she swiped at her eyes. "You are right Shepard, as with Fai Dan, I cannot imagine it; but your situation is not the same. _I_ could help…"

"No." The simple word was ripe with anguish. Shepard leaned forward and pushed off the wall to stand. "Let's head back to the Normandy. Where's Garrus?"

Liara stood, quickly turning her head to hide her tears. "He is just around the corner."

"_Liara_." Shepard put her hand on Liara's arm, and Liara pulled away.

"Goddess…do not." She raised her head. "I have tried to understand, but I do not. You have ignored me, you have…turned me away, you have refused every offer of assistance." She wiped at her eyes, nearly laughing at absurdity of her tears. "It is killing me to watch you suffer and to know that I could help! But that you will not _let_ me hurts most of all." She looked away. "I..I am tired. We should go."

Jane nodded, but said nothing as she followed Liara back to where Garrus waited.

They found him standing near a small fire burning in the corner, no doubt sparked from their recent battle. He was stooped and prodding gingerly at a large pendulous sac rooted to the wall by woody vines.

"What do you think that thing is?" Jane said.

Garrus pulled his hand back as if he'd been caught doing something inappropriate. "Shepard." His mandibles drooped as his eyes roved over her and he cast a worried glance in Liara's direction. His expression grew more concerned when he looked at Liara. At a loss, he turned back to the sac.

"Maybe some sort of…food pod? I'm not sure, but I could have, um, sworn it moved" He rubbed at his neck.

"Seeing things now, Vakarian?" Shepard laughed weakly. Her half smile quickly fell as she started forward. "C'mon..let's.."

Shepard jumped back as the contents of the sac shifted.

Garrus nudged her arm. "Uh huh, who's seeing things now?" He queried dryly.

As they watched, something within the sac contorted. Seconds later, the sacs pearlescent membrane ruptured and an asari dripped from the opening, falling to a crouch before rising unsteadily to her feet. She held up her hands and looked at them in disbelief. "I am free!"

She was a mirror image of the asari that greeted them when they had arrived, and the many asari who attacked them. Shepard swiftly drew her rifle and Liara found herself amazed the woman could move so quickly as drained as she was.

The asari's light eyes roamed over them. "Thank you for releasing me."

Liara watched her warily but the asari was unarmed and did not make any attempt to attack. She slowly relaxed. Beside her she felt Shepard do the same as she lowered her weapon.

"Are you okay?" Shepard said. "Are you hurt?"

"Yes…or I will be, in time. My name is Shiala. I served Matriarch Benezia when she allied herself with Saren."

"Shiala." Liara tilted her head. "Yes, I remember my mother speaking of you. I am her daughter, Liara T'Soni." She clarified.

"Liara?" Shiala said. "Your mother spoke of you often and fondly; it is a shame we never met. I followed and studied under your mother for nearly two hundred years."

At Shepard's querying look Liara explained. "A matriarch's acolytes are like her second family, but because of the spiritual nature of their studies they lived elsewhere in Armali, within a compound near the temple."

"Liara, the matriarch Benezia followed Saren because she thought she could lead him in a gentler direction, but Saren is…compelling, and Benezia lost her way."

"Yes, we..we spoke with Benezia on Noveria. She was able to free herself from Saren's influence long enough to provide us with information, but…not for very long I am afraid. She died shortly after."

Shiala's eyes dimmed. "That she was able to free herself at all is astounding. I am very sorry to hear of her passing but I am…thankful she is free."

"Is that what Saren needed from the Thorian?" Shepard said. "Information regarding mind control?"

Shiala shook her head. "No. Saren has no need of the Thorian's assistance in controlling his followers." She went on to explain the nature of Saren's ship, Sovereign, and the insidious manner in which it indoctrinated all within or near it. "I was a willing slave when Saren offered me in trade to the Thorian."

"In trade for what? What did Saren need from the Thorian?"

"The cipher. The beacon on Eden Prime gave you visions, as it did Saren. He hoped to use these visions to find the conduit but they were meant for a prothean mind, beyond his understanding. Saren had…complications after he saw the visions. He became…"

"Did he have headaches? Fatigue?" Shepard leaned forward anxiously.

"Stubbornness." Liara muttered under her breath. She colored as Shepard looked at her with a raised brow. She had not intended for her to hear.

"Yes." Shiala continued. "His behavior became unstable. He was often angry and he slept little."

Garrus stood up straighter as Shiala spoke and studied Shepard from the corner of his eye. Liara could see in his expression the pieces of the puzzle that had become Shepard slowly clicking into place.

"Saren sought a way to make sense of what the beacon had shown him. That is the cipher. The cipher is the very essence of what it means to be prothean. It is endemic ancestral memory, language, history, the combined experiences of thousands of generations. The Thorian absorbed these things from the protheans it studied and later consumed. They became a part of it. I sensed the cipher when I joined my mind to the Thorian's. This is what the Thorian gave Saren."

Shepard looked up at the ceiling and placed her hands over her eyes. "It's gone. The Thorian is gone." Her voice was thick with despair. "I needed that information. I needed it to stop Saren and to stop…"

"There is a way." Shiala said.

Shepard's head snapped forward. "How?"

"I can transfer the knowledge from my mind to yours as I did with Saren."

Liara gasped, but if Shepard heard she gave no indication.

Shepard stepped forward. "Do it."

_Goddess! _"Shepard! Wait!"

Shepard turned to her abruptly, scowling. "What?"

"Shepard, are you sure?" Liara said softly. "Melding should not…it should not be taken lightly." Liara let her overflowing emotions pour into the words, hoping Shepard would understand the deep sincerity of her own offer, and how vulnerable she had felt making it.

"I'm sure." Shepard replied curtly before turning back to Shiala.

Liara stood frozen, powerless to do anything but watch as Shiala took Jane's hands in hers and began the formal speech commonly used when melding with non-asari. She was torn, split fully in half by her desire to see Jane's pain eased, and her desire to have been the one to ease her pain. A part of her knew she was being selfish; she should be thankful for any chance to not only help Jane capture Saren but to also reduce her torment. That part of her was but a drop in a raging sea of hurt.

She felt like a fool. She had foolishly thought Jane was afraid of the meld. Fear was not an uncommon reaction among non-asari. Melding was intensely intimate. It stripped away all physical barriers, all facades, and left both parties uniquely vulnerable to each other. But Shepard was not afraid; there had been no fear in her eyes, no hesitation to initiate a meld with Shiala. Shepard simply did not want to meld with _her_. The simple truth scoured her, leaving her raw and sore, but she forced herself to watch. To see the truth for what it really was.

"Embrace eternity." Shiala's eyes went black, and Liara's heart fractured.

Several excruciating minutes later, Shepard's eyes drifted open and Shiala stumbled back and slumped against the wall.

"Shepard! Are you all right?" Shepard's eyes slowly began to regain their focus and she listed slightly, stumbling. Liara reached out to steady her, but Shepard pushed her away.

"I have given you the cipher, just as it was given to Saren." Shiala leaned heavily against the wall. Like Shepard, she wobbled precariously. "The ancestral memories of the protheans are a part of you now."

Shepard groaned and blinked as her hand went to her head. "I saw…something. It still didn't make any sense."

"We should get you back to the ship, Commander." Garrus said as Jane continued struggling to stay upright.

"You have been given the experience of an entire people; it will take time for your mind to process the information." Her eyes sought Jane's. "I am sorry if you have suffered, but there was no other way. In time the Cipher will help you understand."

Liara's eyes widened and she rounded on Shiala. "You _hurt_ her?"

"I..I do not know." Shiala admitted. "It was difficult and there was pain."

Liara's biotics flared and she lifted Shiala and slammed her hard against the rear wall. As she strode toward her, she could hear Jane behind her, weakly calling her name. Liara ignored her, focusing all her attention on the asari dangling helplessly before her. Placing her hand under Shiala's chin, she forced her eyes up, devouring them with her own. "If you damaged her, I swear by the Goddess you will regret it."

Liara pivoted on her heel, slinging her hand downward as she turned and Shiala crumpled to the floor. In front of her, Jane knelt on the ground clutching her head.

Returning to Jane's side, Liara calmly slid an arm around Shepard's shoulders and looked up at Garrus. "Let's get her back to the ship."

Garrus nodded and together they lifted Shepard to her feet. They had gone less than three steps when he cast a wary sideways glance at her.

"Liara, remind me never to piss you off."


	11. Chapter 11

Unable to bear the stench any longer, Liara peeled off her chest plate and dropped it to the floor of the med bay as Garrus placed Shepard's twitching and unconscious body on the exam table. As he moved to rise, Shepard's flailing fist connected solidly with his mandible with an audible crack. He raised his head miserably rubbing his jaw. "Damn. I think that snap was her hand again."

"Goddess."

They each grabbed an arm, forcing them down while Dr. Chakwas paused her scan long enough to engage the beds automatic restraints and stick an adhesive vital sign sensor to Shepard's neck. A steady, rapid beeping chimed from the holographic display over the bed.

"Garrus, thank you. You may leave." Dr. Chakwas yanked open a nearby drawer and palmed a small vial which she slid into the chamber of an injector before turning to her. "Liara, what happened?"

As Jane's arms and legs continued jerking against the restraints, Liara reached for Shepard's own armored breast plate, shaking fingers fumbling for the hooks that fastened it. "There was another asari." Her fingers found the catches and she began tugging them free. "She was…given to the Thorian by Saren in exchange for information about the protheans, something called the cipher." She yanked the chest plate free, bringing the shoulder guards with it, and slung them aside. "Jane melded with her to acquire the information herself. At first she seemed weaker though she was still alert, but she collapsed before we reached the ship."

As soon as the armor was clear Chakwas stabbed the sedative filled syringe into Shepard's arm. She glanced up at Liara, nodding at her eye. "And what happened to you?"

When Jane had suddenly gone limp between them, the sudden shift of her dead weight slumping downward had yanked Garrus and Liara's bent heads together. Garrus's plating had weathered the encounter well. Liara's tender skin had not and she now had purple blood dripping into her eye from a laceration over her brow. She swiped at it with one hand, ignoring the sting. "It is nothing."

When she placed her hands on Shepard's arm, she could feel the corded muscle draw tight against her palms. Shepard's face was a taut with pain, lips drawn back to reveal clenched white teeth. Despite the sedative, her motions became more frantic, her head thrashing from side to side and her back arching like a bow until her midsection lifted off the table.

"Goddess…why is it not working?" She fought back panic as the beeping of the monitor spiked, becoming a rapid trill as Jane's heart rate increased. "Karin?"

"Was she exposed to anything else? Anything at all?"

"No…nothing to which Garrus and I were not also exposed…the Thorian spores, caustic emesis from creepers, and varren. Nothing except Shiala." Liara paused. "Shiala did say the meld had been painful, and it should not have been Doctor."

"Her neural activity is…I've never seen anything like it. Every section of her brain is cascading activity. Is there a possibility the meld could have injured her in some way?"

"I…I have heard of such a thing, but I do not know…it is possible she is struggling to assimilate the cipher."

"Is there anything you can do? Can you help stabilize her?"

Liara pulled her eyes away from the monitor to stare at Dr. Chakwas. "You do no know what you are asking. Shepard…she did not want to meld with me and entering her mind without her consent is…it is like rape…no, it is worse than rape."

Karin's eyes were grave and urgent. "Liara, look at the monitor."

Liara's eyes floated up to the holographic display and the floating neural map. She was not a medical doctor but even she could see how wrong the image was as bright flashes of light indicating neural activity pulsated across the display.

"She is in danger." Dr. Chakwas continued. "All her major systems are literally overloading. She's metabolizing the sedative too rapidly for it to take effect. I do not know how much longer she can withstand it. If there is any chance at all, you must do it or she may die."

A quiet sob tore from Liara's throat as she reached forward and placed her palms against either side of Jane's head. She had not wanted it to be this way, but Jane's breathing was harsh and erratic and her skin was burning up. "Goddess Athame guide me and Jane…please forgive me. Embrace eternity."

Liara fell headlong into madness.

She is running, thin legs pumping so hard she nearly trips over the reed thin boy she is following. The light glints from his black hair as they twist sideways and slip into the elevator just as the doors slide shut. Her side burns and laughter spills from her lips as a warm hand claps her on the shoulder. She looks up into smiling, bright blue eyes framed by curling black lashes. The eyes are alight with mischief and the boy's ready smile is confident and victorious.

_Goddess, it is Jakob…he is beautiful. _

The elevator door opens. The smile falls and her own laughter ceases as a stern adult wearing a dripping uniform reaches into the elevator and grasps them both by their sleeves and pulls them out into the hallway and under the spray of the fire containment jets. On the ceiling, a red emergency light spins, spilling swathes of red light over the metal floor. Dread fills her, choking her until she is coughing…

She coughs as smoke billows around her, filling her nose with the scent of charred flesh. Her eyes burn and sting, and she swipes at them, anger and fear making the motions feel disjointed. She kneels in crimson mud, her tears falling like raindrops to pelt the charred body on the ground at her knees. She grasps the heavily muscled shoulder of the fallen soldier and rolls him toward her. His face is a ruin of bone and blood, a hollowed mask of destruction topped with closely cropped jet black hair. Grief swamps her, thicker than the smoke, more foul and bitter.

_Goddess…no…_

A hollow blast trumpets through the air, demanding death. Fear floods her as the memories of a thousand protheans respond to the sound and she turns her eyes to the sky. A malevolent synthetic eye looms overhead as a massive molten red beam lances into the ground, rending deep furrows in the earth as it moves toward her.

_I am here; you are safe. _

She falls. The ground shifts and sways as she scrambles madly to her feet and continues running. The night sky looms overhead and screams split the air, some human and near, others alien, and worlds and eons away. Woven throughout both is the constant discordant keening of saws and drills tearing metal. The earth erupts in a spray of rocks that blast outward and bite her skin. A massive thresher maw rises out of the ground and jets acid over a cluster of nearby marines. Their mouths stretch wide to scream, flesh melts to liquid and drips away revealing wiring and implanted circuits. She reaches the Grizzly and vaults up the ladder. She is almost at the turret when the Grizzly lurches sideways. For a second, she is weightless, flying. Then the rock rushes up to greet her, pain lances through her arm and there is only darkness.

Jane's voice screams in her mind, wretched and desperate.

_Jane? I am here, love…_

A haze of orange surrounds her followed by a blast of heat. Fire. It is burning all around her, ravenously gnawing the oxygen from the air so that it is becoming more and more difficult to breath. The resinous scent of accelerant clings to the overwhelming stench of excrement and filth and she gags. Rows of empty cages stretch out before her. Where are the slaves? In the distance, weak mewling cries become screams that echo throughout the lower reaches of the batarian stronghold as the fire spreads.

_Goddess…they are burning them._

Ignoring the heat and smoke, she runs toward the source of the sound, a large pen. Slaves..hundreds… burning, melting, dying. Filthy, stick thin arms, little more than bones claw at the air through the bars. They beg for death, for life, as rounds from her pistol ricochet off the shielded lock. She is too late. She begins shooting every slave she can before the fire consumes them. Her eyes are watering, but she can't tell if it's from the smoke or her tears. The slaves claw their way over the bodies of the dead and dying to press their faces against the rusty cage so she can reach them easier.

Behind her, a pathetic cry draws her attention. The sound is so soft it stands out among screams of the dying. In a nearby corner, laying in her own filth, a skeletal asari's breath rasps in and out of her emaciated chest. She is little more than a child, her frail life trapped within the prominent cage of her ribs. Sores cover her crests, her arms and legs. Dried purple blood stains the inside of her thighs. Choking on smoke and grief, she approaches the girl who smiles when the pistol presses lightly against her forehead. The little asari looks up at her through eyes as large as moons as she pulls the trigger. In the firelight, her dead eyes burn brightly, twin suns in an unknown system, one planet, another…

The fire does not buy the remaining batarians enough time to flee. They are rounded up and led before her, cuffed hands clasped before them as if in prayer. She does not want them to pray. Like her, they are beyond redemption, beyond salvation. A raspy voice, her own she realizes, made rough by the smoke, commands them to kneel. The tallest batarian smirks showing the sharp points of his teeth. Her knife is already in her hand when she reaches him. He screams as she gouges out his eyes before putting a bullet in his head. When she looks up, the rest are kneeling. She walks down the line, systematically gouging and shooting. She cannot see their faces, only the face of the broken asari and she ignores their screams, their pleas for mercy. She has no mercy left to give.

A young sergeant steps up to stop her and she shoves him away, leaving a sticky, bloody hand print in the center of his chest. Butcher. The word falls from his lips and she dons it like a cloak; anything else she had been burned to ash with the slaves. She reaches the last batarian. The sharp scent of urine fills her nose as she forces his head back. Her knife is fast and certain. The bloody pits of his eyes are black and dark …a vast ship, ominous and malevolent hovers before her, an inky shadow against the as the void of space that stretches around her, all encompassing and absolute.

* * *

Shepard blinked slowly, letting her eyes adjust to the halo of soft light encircling the head of the bed. She was in the medical bay, though she had no recollection of how she got there. She breathed deeply, filling her lungs while absently wiggling her toes and fingers. When she was satisfied all digits were present and accounted for she released the breath in a slow sigh of relief. She had a deep soldier fear of waking one day to a missing limb.

A soft whimper beside her drew her attention and she turned her head gingerly. Relief flooded her when the movement didn't send pain ratcheting through her head but it was short lived when she saw Liara on the bed next to hers.

"Liara?" She croaked, then licked her lips and tried again. "Liara?"

_What the fuck happened? _

She lifted her arm and growled. Her omni was gone; she had no idea what time it was. The corners of the room were dark, indicating it must night. When Liara whimpered again, Shepard slowly pushed herself upright and dropped her feet over the edge of the bed, gripping the thin mattress tightly when a wave of dizziness crashed into her. Gritting her teeth, she fought through it, forcing her shaking legs to support her. Dr. Chakwas had drugged her and taken her omni, but at least this time she'd given her shorts to wear.

Stumbling forward, she caught herself against the edge of Liara's bed and promptly sat to keep from dropping to the floor, weak as water.

Liara lay curled on her side, facing her. The typically smooth lines of her face were twisted into a tight expression of fear and Jane gently reached out and placed her hand on the asari's cheek. "Liara? Hey…it's okay. I'm supposed to be the one with bad dreams, not you."

She flicked the pad of her thumb across a slim bandage that bisected Liara's brow and frowned. The wound was new, and worrisome.

Liara's short lashes batted against her hand as the asari drifted awake. Her chin jerked up as she lifted her head and fixed her wide blue gaze on Shepard.

"Goddess! Jane!"

At the sound of her voice, it all came rushing back. The Thorian, Shiala, the cipher…Garrus and Liara half carrying her to the ship. Liara…memories…Liara _in _her memories.

Shepard yanked her hand away from Liara's cheek and lurched to her feet. "How could you?"

"Jane…I…" Liara blinked and reached for her arm, but Shepard yanked it away.

"Goddammit Liara, I said no!" Anger and shame vied for dominance within her. "But you…you fucking…I _trusted_ you! Were you so damn eager to get your hands on more information about the protheans you had to _take_ it? You had _no right_!"

Liara stiffened for a moment then pushed herself to a sit. "No! Shepard, I am sorry…please…"

The tears welling in Liara's eyes spurred her anger almost as much as those streaming down her own cheeks. "Please? You're joking. There isn't a single thing you could have done that would…hurt me more." She backed away, every muscle trembling with rage. "Just stay the fuck away from me!" Pivoting on her heel, she staggered from the room.


	12. Chapter 12

Shepard braced her back against the inside of the door frame and peered over her shoulder into the brightly lit interior of the base. The complex was identical to many prefabricated colonial units, consisting of a two level structure with an open bay for storage and an upper level with sleeping quarters and offices.

She frowned at the layout of heavy equipment and metal shelving in the bay. Whoever coordinated the setup had cleverly spaced the contents of the room with an eye for defense.

She cast a sideways glance at Wrex. "What's this guy's name again?"

"Tonn Actus." Wrex replied. "He's turian…low level pirating scum, but he's made millions of credits selling krogan relics stolen by the turian military during the rebellion." Wrex rolled his shoulders. "He's an ass, and he's got my family's armor. I want it back."

"Armor?" Wrex had been hounding her about coming to Tuntau since leaving Feros, but he had never clarified why it was so important and she hadn't pushed for a reason. She didn't really care, she just wanted to shoot something. "Well, he's not a stupid as most pirates I've dealt with." She nodded toward the bay. "After the clean up outside he knows we're here, but he hasn't rushed us. He's waiting for us to make our move and as soon as we do, all the warm bodies I'm picking up on thermal will try to flank us."

"Good." Wrex grunted. "Battle's no fun when it's easy." He hefted his shotgun. "I promise to save some for you, Shepard, but Actus is mine."

Shepard grinned. "You can't save 'em for me if I get there first, Wrex."

Shepard had foregone her usual three man squad for this mission, opting to bring only Wrex. She needed a good fight with no distractions or complications and Wrex was as uncomplicated and straight to the point as his name. Dr. Chakwas had argued of course, but Shiala's cipher had apparently done the trick. Though her brain still continued to show the aberrant beta waves, they weren't constant. Her headache was back to a manageable dull throb and she'd logged solid rack time. Not that she'd felt much like sleeping, but her body insisted on making up for lost time even when her heart wasn't in it. She was still too angry and hurt by what Liara had done to rest properly.

No. She shook her head to clear it. She was not going to think about the asari and she was most definitely not going to think about how much she missed her. Missing her made Liara's actions that much more painful. After a week of daily testing, Chakwas had finally cleared her to return to duty and as soon as she had, Shepard had put her foot down about the doctor's rule that Liara accompany her for all ground missions. She had improved dramatically, and with no reason to enforce the rule, Chakwas had reluctantly acquiesced.

She looked over her shoulder once more before giving Wrex a curt nod. "Let's move."

"I'm right behind you."

Shepard snorted. "Good. Your large krogan ass isn't exactly easy to shoot around."

"I have no problem following you into battle, Shepard." Wrex grinned. "I kind of like having a human meat shield."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Just try and keep up, eh?" Pivoting on her heel, she swept into the room and knelt alongside a tall bank of empty shelves. From the far corner, a proximity alert began to wail.

"Here they come." Wrex growled.

The pirates were well trained; she'd give them that. The first two were on her within seconds of the alarm. The first fell with a sharp kick to the knee that sent him sprawling with his leg bent at an unnatural angle, while she took the second out with a quick, close range shot to the head. The round ripped through her attackers shields and shattered the face mask of his helmet. As he sank to the floor, his body jerked violently, inadvertently hit with a shotgun blast by the first pirate who had raised his weapon to fire at her. The torn body landed on his snapped knee and he screamed. Shepard laughed as she cleanly killed him.

"You know, Wrex. You're right…meat shields are pretty damn handy."

Wrex's beefy mitt landed hard on her shoulder and yanked her backwards just as a laser guided round snapped against the wall behind where she'd been standing.

"Careful Shepard." His voice rumbled over her shoulder. "Snipers."

"Thanks Wrex. I didn't know you cared." She snarked.

"Don't flatter yourself. If I don't save your puny ass I'm stuck here. There's no way my 'large krogan ass' will fit behind the controls in the Mako."

"Admit it. You just love the way I drive." Turning to face him she looked at the fallen pirate behind him and unshipped her shotgun with a feral smile. "You're one down, Wrex. Better get a move on."

"Hah!" The heavy shotgun looked like a toy as he shook it in one hand to cock it. "Get out of my way, human. I'm through playing nice."

Wrex rolled around the far side of the shelf and charged forward while Shepard slid to the left, keeping under the cover of the overhanging second story walkway. They moved slowly up the opposite sides of the room, mowing down the pirates as they appeared to keep from being flanked. By the time they made it to the bunk lined sleeping quarters in the back, dead pirates littered the floor from one end of the bay to the next.

Breathing hard, Shepard quirked an eyebrow at the scarred krogan. "Nine more brings me to eleven. You?"

Wrex's red eyes burned with blood rage as he showed his teeth. "I lost count at fourteen."

"Damn." Shaking her head, Shepard strode through open door. "Save some juice for Actus."

She quickly capped off her medi-gel supply and rifled through the contents of a broken locker. "It's not here."

Wrex pointed at the ceiling. "Our turian friend is probably trying it on upstairs in the hopes that it will save him."

"Let's go interrupt him, shall we?"

They stuck to the right side wall of the bay as they made their way to the stairs. At the top, Shepard checked her scanner. Smiling, she tapped Wrex's arm and held up one finger before placing her index finger over her lips, urging silence. Dropping down, she crawled behind a crate just on the opposite side of the door before taking out her pistol and motioning Wrex through. Wrex walked boldly through the door as if impervious to danger. When the targeting laser bloomed on his chest, Shepard surged to her feet, grabbed the stunned sniper by his shoulders, and yanked him across the crate, slamming him hard to the floor. She wedged her pistol under the chin of his helmet and fired. Blood splashed against the inside of his mask with a wet squelch, smearing it red.

She stood and pointed at the rear office door. "Scanner shows one left. It's got to be your guy. Think you can handle it?"

"With pleasure." His voice was a low, menacing purr.

Wearing a grim smile, Shepard followed Wrex into the small office.

Tonn Actus put up a good fight, but less than two minutes later Wrex howled in victory over the broken body of his enemy.

"Maybe he really should have worn the armor." She said. As Wrex turned to hack the nearby wall safe, she tried to imagine countless millions of battle hardened krogan fighting together during the rebellions and how fierce and unstoppable they must have been. The genophage really was a tragedy.

"Even if it fit him, it wouldn't have done him any good." Wrex reached into the safe and pulled out an ancient set of armor before turning to her. "I can't believe my ancestors ever wore this crap, but I'm glad to have it back."

"I'm glad I could help, Wrex." She said. "So, what's the story behind this armor anyway?"

He looked thoughtful for a moment as studied the armor. Stooping, her grabbed a storage crate from a low shelf and yanked it out. "Here. Sit."

Shepard eyed him warily and sat as he pulled out another crate for himself and took a seat across from her, carefully draping his grandfather's armor across his lap. "I'll tell you about the armor, but I've got a question for you first. What do you fight for, Shepard?"

The question caught her off guard and she paused, considering her answer. "I fight for the mission, Wrex. Because I have a job to do, and I'm the kind of person who can do it."

The sharp bark of his laughter rang out. "What a load of varren crap."

Shepard scowled. "What the hell has gotten into you, Wrex?"

"I could ask you the same thing about Liara."

She stiffened. "That's none of your goddamn business."

"Maybe not." His red eyes snapped up, fixing her. "But maybe it should be."

Shepard shot to her feet. "Piss off, Wrex. If you had any idea what she did…"

"I know exactly what she did Shepard. The very same thing you and I have been forced to do over and over again. She did what needed to be done."

"How can you say that?" Shepard spat. "She…she…" Shame flooded her, cutting off her words. "She wanted the damn cipher, Wrex. Shiala…the asari on Feros, received knowledge of the protheans from the Thorian. She gave it to Saren to help him find the damn conduit and cure his fucking headaches and mood swings, and she shared it with me for the same reasons. When I was incapacitated, Liara…she…fuck. I don't have to explain myself to you."

Wrex tilted back his head and laughed. "You still don't know, do you?"

"Know what?"

"If you listened to a damn word anyone told you, you'd know Liara helped you. You would have died if she hadn't."

Shepard felt the blood drain from her face. "What are you talking about?"

"Sit down and listen, pyjack. You might learn something."

Wrex waited while she sat. "Do you know what I fight for, Shepard?"

"You're a mercenary, Wrex." She said dryly. "I assume it's money."

He nodded sadly. "Yeah, most of the time it is. The rest of the time it's for this." He wrapped his fists in his family's armor and shook it. "Crap, stolen armor. Do you know why I wanted this back? Look at it! It's worthless!" His eyes caught hers and held her in place. "I wanted it because five generations of my family wore this and I made a promise to my father's father to get it back. It's the only thing I've got. The last scrap of true krogan honor left to my name. Since the genophage, that's all the krogan have had to fight for, the honor we _used_ to have and money. But you…human, female, small…weak. I knew what you fought for the minute she boarded the Normandy. I knew because you had the same look in your eyes my grandfather had in his when he asked me to recover this damn relic. Hope."

"Hope?" Shepard sneered. "I don't believe in hope." Her fists clenched until her nails bit into her palms. "I used to…fuck, I want to…"

"I know humans have small brains, but you really are an idiot, aren't you?" Wrex said. "Shiala damn near killed you. Liara wasn't after the cipher, she didn't even want to do her asari mind junk on you but Dr. Chakwas convinced her you'd die if she didn't, and you probably would have. You humans die too easily."

"How do you even know that?"

"Because unlike you, I talked to her. Krogan and asari live a long time; we have more in common than you might think." For a minute he looked like he would say more but he stood abruptly, and stabbed at the air with a gloved claw. "Retrieving my family's armor…._my_ armor… reminds me of what the krogan have lost, how far we've fallen. But it also reminds me what it's like to _be_ krogan, to fight for blood as well as clan and kin. It reminds me of who I am, Shepard."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I might just be beginning to like you." Clutching the armor against his chest, her strode for the door. "Now let's get the hell out of here. I'm hungry."

* * *

The silence of the return trip was broken only by the his of the thrusters and Wrex's harsh grunts of disapproval at Shepard's horrible driving. Shepard ignored them, her mind a thousand miles away and struggling to process what Wrex had said. When they were safely aboard the Normandy, she retreated wordlessly to her cabin, stripping out of her armor and hurling each piece against the wall in sharp bursts of anger.

Could she have been so wrong? So stupidly blind? It was true, she hadn't spoken with Liara since Feros and with the exception of insisting to Dr. Chakwas the asari not come along for land-side missions she had adamantly refused to discuss her or even hear her name.

Fuck. She toed open her footlocker and pulled out an unopened bottle of whiskey. Wrenching the cap off she slumped into the sofa, tilted her head back, and took a long pull straight from the bottle. The drink blazed a trail down her throat and set fire to her stomach. The feeling suited her mood, and she drank again.

What was she fighting for? The question was deceptively simple, but the answer was a tangled mass of fuck-all feelings and memories that made no sense to her anymore.

When she was sixteen, she had known who she was. She had purpose and hope. She believed in honor and justice. That was the Jane Shepard Liara met on Arcturus. Now she was… fucked up, broken…a failure. Christ, Liara has seen…she had _seen _the things she had done. Shame, hotter than the whiskey, burned her gut and she pressed the heels of her palms against her burning eyes.

She didn't even know who she was anymore. It was easier to wrap herself in a hard protective shell of hate and anger than it was to look in the mirror every damn day and face who she'd become. She'd done it for so long, it was second nature. _Be hard, stay ruthless, don't flinch, and above all…don't fucking care about anyone or anything because when you do, they die._ Then, Councilor Udina had told her about a prothean scientist on Therum. All it had taken was the mere mention of Liara's name and her well constructed facade had begun to crumble. Feelings long buried had cracked her shell and pulled her like a compass needle to true north. She had followed her heart to Therum and the moment she had seen Liara…it had been like coming home. Like being sixteen again, full of hope and purpose.

Liara…did something to her. Since she'd been on board, Shepard had found herself opening up, talking to the crew, getting to know them. She _liked _them, dammit. All of them. Even Pressly, with the xenophobic stick up his ass. Cold sweat beaded on her skin, and she lifted the bottle to her lips. They were her family…every one of them, and caring for them scared her to death.

But Liara…She took a long drink, the liquor no longer burning her numbed tongue. Wrex had said Liara was what she fought for because she gave her hope. Numbed with whiskey, she could finally admit it was true. Terrifying, but true. The truth was, she loved her. She had loved her since she was sixteen, practically from the first moment she had seen her. But Liara filled her with so much hope sometimes simply looking at her was painful.

A bitter laugh escaped her lips. Wrex was right. Liara was just like his family armor. She reminded Jane of who she had been, but she was also a caustic reminder of what she had become. _Damn you straight to hell, Wrex. I liked you better when you weren't so damned clever. _

A simple question remained. What was she going to do about it?

She had been…a complete and utter ass. If what Wrex said was true, and she had no reason to doubt him, Liara had saved her. Despite the fact that she had rejected the asari at every opportunity. Despite the way she had brought her aboard and abandoned her, the manner in which she had wrenched her theory about the protheans, and the way she had…fuck, she had willingly, no…eagerly.. melded with Shiala while Liara stood by crying for fuck's sake. And afterward, she had accused Liara of…betrayal. Of melding with her for the sake of personal gain.

Even recalling all the horrible things Liara had seen in her memories didn't make her feel as ashamed and tainted with guilt as that one, heartless act.

Slouching forward, she cradled the half empty bottle in her palms, unsure if the writing on the label was blurry from the alcohol she had consumed, or the tears streaming down her face. She was damn near paralyzed with fear, but she had to make this right. Not only for Liara, and for her crew, for herself. She was broken. The person she had been was shattered into a thousand pieces. But if she didn't at least try, even those pieces would be ground to dust and she would truly, truly be lost.

* * *

The following morning, Shepard held her pounding head between her palms as her crew, with the exception of Liara, filed into her cabin.

"Wow Skipper." Ashley fanned the air in front of her nose. "It smells like a bar in here. Ma'am."

Tali nodded in agreement. "I'm going to have to change my suit filters after this."

Kaidan stepped through the door, blinked slowly, and backed away. "Hang on, ma'am. I'll be right back."

A few minutes later, once everyone else had arrived, he returned and pressed a steaming mug of coffee into her hand.

She breathed the scent in with an appreciative sigh. "Thank you, LT."

"Well Shepard. We're all here…in this very tiny space. What do you want?" Wrex demanded.

As she scanned the faces of her crew, a tired smile split her face. They looked ridiculous crammed into her cabin. Wrex alone took up most of the limited space.

"That's it." Garrus drawled. "She's drunk."

"No…no, I'm not." She assured them. She took a sip of the coffee and placed the mug on her desk. "I _was_ drunk, and I am definitely hung over, but I'm seeing more clearly now than I have in a long time."

Dr. Chakwas wore a concerned expression as she elbowed her way to Shepard's side and her omni-tool flared to life. "Are you certain you're okay?" She asked, waving the tool in front of Shepard's face.

She winced and drew back from the bright light, placing a calming hand on the doctor's arm. "Really, Doc…I'm fine."

"Well goodness, Commander Shepard, why have you called us all here?"

She cleared her throat and pushed herself to her feet, ignoring the niggling voices of fear and doubt that warned her to flee. "I need to say something." Her heart pounded inside her chest and sweat beaded on her forehead.

"Shepard, maybe you should sit down." Garrus warned. " You don't look so good."

"Or smell so good." Tali added.

"No, I need to say this…sorry Tali…" She tilted her head toward her terminal. "Joker, are you on the comm?"

"_Yes, ma'am_."

She breathed a deep sigh and looked over the faces of her crew while smoothing the front of her uniform. "Look, you all know I'm not big on speeches…"

"Or talking…" Tali added.

She smiled. "Yes, or talking, Tali." Her smile faltered. "So I'll keep this brief. First, I want to apologize. I've been…well, I've been a woefully sub par commander for most of this mission so far. Until recently, I was more ill than I was willing to admit and I spent a great deal of energy not only denying it to myself, but also hiding it from you all."

Ashley rolled her eyes. "We're not blind, ma'am. Anyone could see that beacon pulled a number on you." Beside her Kaidan nodded in agreement.

Her brows rose. "Really? Well, if nothing else, my inability to recognize your awareness only highlights my deficiencies further." She clasped her hands behind her back. "At any rate, I'm sorry." She cleared her throat. "I've received a lot of titles in my day, some of them good…others not so much. But none have made me as proud to serve as simply being the Commander of the Normandy. She's the best ship in the galaxy, piloted by the best helmsman…

"_Hoorah_." Joker chimed over the comm.

"…and she's got the best damn crew any commanding officer could ever hope to have. You have all taught me many things I would never have learned without you. You've taught me about overcoming adversity, moving forward in the face of uncertainty, how, under our different exteriors we're all far more alike than we are different. You've taught me that people can change, to let go of guilt, and that armor," she eyed Wrex. "Even ass ugly, outdated armor…is important."

"Are you trying to make me cry, Shepard?" Wrex said, eliciting laughter from the group.

"No, Wrex…I just wanted to say thank you." She let her eyes move over them. "To all of you. I couldn't ask for a better team. We're on the most important, most dangerous mission any of us have ever faced and I promise you, we'll get it done and I…I _will_ be the commander you deserve."

Kaidan scowled. "No offense, ma'am, but why isn't Dr. T'Soni hearing this? Don't get me wrong; I appreciate what you're saying and I know it's not easy, but she's one of us. Honestly, she probably needs to hear this more than any of the rest of us."

Kaidan's comment garnered an assenting murmur from the group and Shepard held up her hands.

She looked at Kaidan. "I couldn't agree more, Jiminy Cricket." She smiled when he blushed. " Which, aside from saying I'm sorry and thank-you to you guys, brings me to the final reason I've asked you all to come here."

She dropped her hands and clasped them behind her back. "We are one week away from Virmire. During that time, I have a…secondary, secret mission. Participation is strictly voluntary, though secrecy is not. Did you catch that Joker?"

"_Yes ma'am_." Joker grumbled.

"Keelah Shepard! Don't keep us in suspense! What is it!"

Shepard swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. "I wouldn't be standing here at all if it wasn't for Liara. I know the Alliance has rules..." She threw up her hands. "Oh fuck it. I need your help convincing her to forgive me and hopefully, to give me another chance."

"Yes!" Ashley and Tali chimed in unison, slapping their palms together in a high five.

Garrus eyed Wrex. They shared a nod of mutual manly understanding as they backed toward the door. "No offense, Shepard, but I think this mission is better left to the female and or human contingent of the crew." Garrus said. "Besides, it's going to take a lot more than an apology and sweet praise to get me to spill _my_ lady snaring secrets." He paused. "Though I must admit, I do like your sweet praise."

"I can promise my silence, and you can borrow my armor." Wrex snarked. "Other than that, I'm out. You humans are too damned emotional."

Kaidan hitched his thumb over his shoulder toward the door with an apologetic smile. "Yeah…unless your conscience starts slacking I'm with them. This is definitely female territory."

Shepard smiled at the trio and made a shooing gesture to dismiss them. "Thank you gentlemen."

As soon as the door closed behind them, Ashley and Tali sprang to her side while Dr. Chakwas gave her a soft, affectionate smile.

Tali latched onto her arm, her shining eyes smiling through her mask. "Start at the beginning and tell us eeeeverything, Shepard!"


	13. Chapter 13

It took two days. Two days during which she studiously avoided any and all common spaces for fear of accidentally bumping into Liara, and two days during which she nearly called the entire thing off at least a hundred times. Fortunately, her crew wouldn't let her. When she stumbled, they lifted her up and moved her forward, past her panic and fear. She owed them…everything.

Thanks to Ashley and Tali's combined ingenuity, her cabin now resembled the cozy corner of the park on Arcturus where she and Liara had spent most of their time. Ashley has painstakingly stripped the lights from every set of armor in a large crate of cast offs and wired them together. With Kaidan's assistance, she had then carried them into Shepard's room in the middle of the night, and affixed them to the ceiling. White lights now twinkled from the ceiling of her room like stars.

After scouring the extranet for reference images, Tali had created a holographic forest with the same types of trees that had been on the station. Thanks to several cleverly placed projectors, the walls of her cabin were now murals of trees. She had even managed to reprogram a VI projector so that a fully three dimensional tree sat in the corner of her room, it's long limbs stretched out to provide a canopy of leaves against the backdrop of sparkling white lights. She had embedded a recording of birdsong to play quietly in the background.

For her part, Dr. Chakwas had outdone herself. Not only had she managed to keep Liara distracted, she had pulled out the stops and called in several favors from friends. She had managed to acquire hotdogs…not the soy based meat paste the Alliance tried to pass off as hotdogs…real, actual meat hotdogs on real actual bread buns. She had also managed to get her hands on fresh strawberries and champagne.

For her own contribution, Shepard had repositioned everything in her room, aligning the low sofa under the 'tree' like a park bench. On the seat of the sofa sat the comb with which Liara had brushed her hair.

Shepard ran her hands over the back of the sofa and surveyed the room. It was perfect…no, it was almost perfect. The only thing missing was Liara.

She checked her chrono nervously. All the preparations had been made. The evening watch had been rotated to ensure crew deck traffic was limited to the hall and the stairs. The champagne had been on ice for the past several hours. Five minutes ago the cook had delivered a warming tray laden with steaming hotdogs to her room and a bowl of trimmed strawberries. As soon as he arrived, she sent a silent alert to Dr. Chakwas. Moments later she received confirmation from the Doctor that she had hand delivered a data pad with an invitation to Liara, requesting she report to Shepard's cabin as soon as possible.

She ran an agitated hand through her hair. What if Liara refused? She had been very careful to write the invitation in the form of a request; she wasn't going to order Liara to come to her, though she readily admitted, the idea had merit. Strong merit. Christ, she hadn't been this nervous since…ever. She paced the room, flexing her fingers, suddenly wishing desperately for a pistol to grip. Her laughter bordered on hysterical at what Liara would think if she welcomed her into her cabin armed. As she paced, loops of carefully scripted dialog played through her head, what to say, and when and how to say it. How to break down any and all possible arguments. _Be kind, courteous…and cautious. Don't dwell on any one point too much…unless she thinks it's important. Please don't make a fool out of yourself! Don't get angry or frustrated_…She paused her pacing long enough to check her chrono again. _Shouldn't she be here by now?_

At the light knock against the door, her head whipped up. "Okay. I can do this."

Killing the lights behind her until the room was pitched into darkness, she opened the door.

Liara stood in the open doorway. Her eyes were enormous, startlingly bright and blue in the dim light. Shepard felt her mouth move but she couldn't force any sound to come out of her throat. All her carefully planned words evaporated.

For a fraction of a second, Liara appeared uncertain, as if torn between saying one thing or another. In a blink the moment was gone, and her expression flattened. "Hello Commander. You asked to see me." Her voice was distant.

Shepard's jaw worked up and down for a long and awkward moment. "Yes" she squeaked. _Fuck. _She closed her eyes, not even caring that she must look like a complete idiot. _Jane Shepard, pull yourself together! This is it. You will _not_ mess this up. _She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before opening her eyes. "Yes, yes I did. I…I've got something for you, if you are willing to accept it."

Liara's carefully schooled expression shifted to one of confusion. "I…am…" She blinked slowly and the mask returned. "Very well. If you feel it is important." She held out her arms. "I have something for you as well."

Jane had been so busy focusing on the simple act of forming a coherent sentence she had failed to notice the folded bundle Liara held. As Liara shoved it forward, her hands reached for it reflexively. "Is that…" The red stripe along the sleeve was unmistakable. She held up the item and watched it unfold. "It's my hoodie. I can't believe you kept it all this time." She shoved it back at Liara. "No. This is yours. I wanted you to have it thirteen years ago, and…"

"I have carried it with me long enough, Commander. It is time to let it go."

Shepard tucked the hoodie under her arm trying not to panic at the finality in Liara's tone. "I'll hold on to it for you, but I'd like the opportunity to change your mind."

"That will not be necessary."

"Liara, please…" She reached out with one hand, but dropped it when she saw Liara stiffen. "Since Therum, I've asked more of you than I have probably ever asked of anyone. Maybe not directly, but implicitly…yeah, with no regard for your feelings or the consequences. And now…now I need to ask one more thing of you. It's awkward, and wrong, and you can say no, but I hope like hell you don't."

Liara's eyes became wary. "Commander, I.."

"Liara, I am begging you, please. Will you give me a few minutes of your time?"

Fear raced through her when Liara hesitated, but she finally nodded, a quick, short motion, reluctantly given.

Jane's lungs emptied in a rush as she slumped in relief. "Good…thank you." She shifted the hoodie in her hands. "Okay, close your eyes."

"Pardon me?"

"Your eyes. Please, close them."

Liara looked uncertain, but finally allowed her lids to fall.

Shepard reached out and took Liara's hand in hers. Gently and slowly, she led her into the darkened interior of her cabin, and waited for the door to close. _Please, please, please let this work. _"Keep your eyes closed." She said as she dropped Liara's hand. "Just a few seconds longer, I promise." She tapped her omni and activated the lights and the holograms. Chirping birdsong flitted overhead. "Okay…now open them."

Liara's eyes opened and she looked up at the lights before twisting left and right to see the trees and the sofa. When her eyes landed on the comb, her hands flew up to cover her mouth.

"Is it okay?" Shepard asked, her voice tight with worry, tinged with hope. "Do you like it?"

Liara's shoulders shook as a quiet sob tore from her throat.

Jane rushed forward, aching to hug her but unsure if she should. She settled for lightly placing a hand on her shoulder. "Hey…hey, it's okay. I'm sorry. I thought…I mean, I had hoped…fuck, I didn't mean to make you cry."

Liara launched herself against Jane's chest, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and squeezing her tight as she pressed her face against Jane's neck. "No, it is perfect. I was not expecting anything quite so perfect. I thought it meant nothing, that you wanted to forget."

"No, never. The day I met you was the best day of my life." Jane pulled back far enough to see Liara's face. The hoodie was still clutched awkwardly in her hand, and she lifted it, using the sleeve to dry Liara's eyes. "There's more." She led Liara to the sofa and dropped the hoodie beside her. "Give me a minute."

Turning on her heel, she retreated to the table and grabbed a tray, loading it with hotdogs, berries, and two champagne flutes. Balancing it on one arm, she slipped the champagne out of the ice with her free hand and returned to the sofa.

"How did you do this?" Liara asked, studying the hologram. "It's beautiful."

"I had a lot of help. Tali, Ashley, Dr. Chakwas…" She placed the tray on the sofa and Liara's eyes widened.

"Are those…"

Jane grinned. "Warm canines?"

Liara looked up at her, and a slow smile played across her lips. "I believe the correct term is hotdogs." She paused, eyes smiling. "I do not know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. Tonight is all for you." She tore the wrapping off the champagne and toggled the pressure valve on the neck before, removing the cap. "Um…hang on. My cabin isn't really set up for…well, this, but give me a minute."

She retreated to the bed and yanked off the pillows and blanket before returning. After instructing Liara to lift her feet, she spread the blanket on the floor and positioned the pillows before grabbing the champagne and sitting on the floor. "Sorry. I should have thought of this beforehand. We'll picnic; it will be easier to eat down here."

While Liara repositioned herself on the floor, Jane pulled the tray down and placed it between them and filled the glasses. "I know hotdogs and champagne are an unusual pairing. I hope you don't mind." She handed a glass to Liara.

"Hotdogs and champagne are perfect. Thank you."

Jane held up her glass. "No, Liara. Thank you. Without you, I…" She cleared her throat. "Thank you."

Her anxiety returned in full force and she upended her drink. When she lowered her glass, she was surprised to see that Liara had done the same. She refilled them both.

"So…" Liara's voice was hesitant. "Are you going to tell me what this is all about?"

Jane grabbed a hotdog and took a bite, chewing slowly. "Did I ever tell you it was because of Jakob that we met?"

"Shepard. Jane, you do not have to…"

Jane shook her head. "No, I want to. Really." She waited for Liara to begin eating before continuing. "Jakob's family was already assigned to the Ben Davis when my mom and I got there. I was alone a lot as a kid. I learned not to get too attached to the other kids on the carriers because there was always a chance of getting reassigned somewhere else. But Jakob and I hit it off immediately. We were like…peanut butter and jelly…two things that just go together. He was charismatic, even as a kid. Everyone liked him, or wanted to be him."

"Did you? Want to be him?"

She laughed. "No, I just wanted to be near him. He was like a little sun, everywhere he went was light and warm, and I just wanted to soak it up. He was also a bit of a hellion… a troublemaker" She clarified when Liara appeared perplexed. "He had a new prank every single day. We got into more trouble together in the first six months I was on the Davis than I'd ever been in my entire life. The fire containment system…what you saw. That was a doozy." She smiled at the memory. "He gave me the cloak mod for my omni-tool as a going away present when my mom was reassigned to the Einstein, just before you and I met." She looked at Liara and laughed. "I'm pretty sure he stole it, actually, but if he hadn't, I would never have met you. I don't think I ever thanked him for that when I told him about you."

Liara looked surprised. "You told him about me?"

"Of course. I told Jakob…everything." She studied her drink. "When he died..when Jakob died a part of me died with him. He was the brother I never had and I loved him."

"I am so sorry, Jane."

"I miss him. There isn't a single day that goes by that I don't wish I could see him again and tell him about this ship, the crew…you."

"Why are you telling me this? Why now?"

"It feels good to talk about him. He was so special, Li! I want you to know more about him than what you saw in the meld." Jane blinked back tears. "Liara, I am so sorry. I was wrong…completely, horribly wrong. You helped me. Dammit, you saved me when I didn't deserve to be saved and I accused you of betraying me, of melding with me just to get to the cipher. I should have trusted you." She held up a hand when Liara tried to interrupt. "You don't have to say anything. You're so kind you'll try to make excuses for my behavior and there aren't any. I just wanted you to know how very sorry I am for being such an ass."

She took a deep breath and blew it out. "About my memories, I don't understand how or why they got so tangled with the images from the beacon, but whatever you did, helped me sort them enough to at least stop being incapacitated with pain. Whatever the reason, if you have any questions..or concerns..feel free to ask."

"I am not surprised the visions from the beacon are intertwined with your memories; your mind has been fumbling in the dark, trying to process them in the only way it could." She hesitated as she finished a hotdog."I understood, afterward, why you were so adamant in your refusal to accept my help. At first, I thought it was because I..repulsed you in some way, or…"

"No, never! Not from the first moment, not for a second. I just never wanted you to see what's in my head. Not the beacon stuff, I mean _my_ memories. I'm not the person you think I am. Hell, I'm not the person _anyone_ thinks I am."

"I read your files, Jane." Liara confessed. "And I've shared some of your memories. I know exactly who you are."

Jane stiffened."Why would you do that? Why would you…"

"I am sorry, but you left me little choice. You rescued me from Therum and you…shut me out. I had not seen you for thirteen years and I thought…I thought you would be as happy to see me as I was to see you, and at first you were, but then you avoided me. I did not understand why and I desperately needed to." She paused. "You are not the person you were, it is true. But you are also not who you think." Liara peered deeply into Jane's eyes. "Everyone can see who you are Jane Shepard, except for you."

Jane sighed. "I'm just sorry you had to see any of that. If I could take it back, I would."

"No." Liara said. "I had many questions and your memories clarified what I was unable able to deduce from your heavily redacted files. Seeing and feeling what you experienced helped me understand how you perceive yourself, and your actions.

Jane, you honestly seem to believe you are a…harbinger of death and pain, in the same way the reapers were to the protheans. I suspect it was very likely the strong parallel you subconsciously drew between your own actions and the reapers that kept your mind from being destroyed by the visions." She paused. "I am sorry, Jane, for entering your mind without your permission. I did not want to…I never wanted it to be that way… but I would not take it back. The things you have done are hard, sometimes harsh, but you have always done them for a reason. For the right reasons."

"I do bring death, Liara." Jane said. "And God help me sometimes I want to. You saw…the slaves, the batarians." Jane quickly finished off her drink and refilled her glass, topping off Liara's before setting the bottle aside.

"Why their eyes?"

Jane looked up, surprised. "I thought you would know. The batarians believe that when they die, the soul exits the body through their eyes to enter the afterlife. I didn't just want them dead, Liara, I wanted them destroyed." She paused. "Are you okay? I didn't, um, hurt you with the meld? With Shiala…"

"No…oh, Jane…no. It should never have been like that."

Jane breathed a sigh of relief and leaned her head against the sofa. "I have so much to make up to you. When I picked you up from Therum, I looked at you and it was like the past thirteen years passed for you in a vacuum. In many ways, you are still the same." She paused, smiling softly. "I can't begin to tell you how happy I am about that. I, on the other hand, feel like I've changed too much. I was afraid of hurting you, of disgusting you, or disappointing you. You followed your dreams and became a leading expert in your field, I followed mine and became…not what I wanted. I've been avoiding you, avoiding our past, since you came on board simply because I was scared and ashamed." She admitted. "You deserve so much better."

Liara looked up at the lights flickering on the ceiling and the branches of the holographic tree swaying gently overhead. "It appears you have recovered from your fear of our past." Her smile was poetry. "Thank you. Thank you for all of this." She took a sip of her champagne and turned to her, hands fidgeting nervously with her glass as the silence stretched out. "Where does this leave us now?"

Jane lifted the bowl of berries from the tray and slid the rest of their meal out of the way. "I think that leaves us with dessert. Do you like strawberries?"

"I do not know. I have never eaten them."

"They're wonderful and unlike hotdogs, they go perfectly with champagne." Sliding closer, she plucked a berry out of the bowl held it out. "Go ahead, have one."

Liara leaned forward and plucked the strawberry from between Jane's thumb and finger with her teeth. The move was casual, an afterthought, but Jane's mouth went dry.

Liara's eyes closed as she chewed. "Goddess, that is delicious."

"Um…yeah." Jane croaked. "Yes, you…I mean, they are."

Liara stretched out a delicate hand and withdrew another, bringing it to her lips. Jane couldn't move, too transfixed by the contrast between the red flesh of the fruit and Liara's blue skin.

"Perfect." Jane whispered. As if moving of it's own accord, her hand stretched out and traced the curve of Liara's lips with the tips of her fingers. When Liara's eyes closed, she reluctantly dropped her hand. "Damn, I'm sorry..I shouldn't have done that."

Liara eyes moved over Jane's face and her smile was sad as she reached up to catch a lock of Jane's hair between a finger and thumb. "I regret not trying to find you. If I had, you would know that you need never apologize for touching me." She sighed softly as their eyes met. "I missed you."

Placing her palms on the floor by her sides, Jane pushed herself forward until they were inches apart. Liara smelled of champagne, berries, and the wonderful, undefinable scent that was all her own. Setting the berries aside, she laced their fingers together. "I missed you, too, more than I have words to say. You remind me of the person I used to be. I liked who I was then, not the angry person I've become. I want to be that person again…be _me_ again, but I don't know if I can and it scares me."

Liara squeezed her hands, pressing their palms together. "I understand. Our mission is dangerous and you fear the pain of loss, but we all know the risks, and willingly accept them. You are not alone. We are all with you…to the end, and we trust you because we know that when difficult choices must be made, you will make them without hesitation. Do not fear the trust and respect you have rightfully earned, Jane." Liara lifted her fingers to lightly trace the scar at Jane's brow. "You have scars, but under them you are the same _good _person I met on Arcturus. It makes me sad that you doubt it." Liara's eyes wandered over her face and her lips tilted up. "Actually, I had an entire list of things I planned to say to you if we met again."

Jane cocked her head to the side. "Really? Like what?"

"Oh no." Liara laughed and shook her head, coloring lightly. "They are much too childish. I remembered you as a girl. I was not prepared for the very… attractive woman who rescued me on Therum."

Jane leaned forward and lightly brushed her cheek against Liara's before resting it there. "Thank you, Liara. Thank you for being so wonderful."

Liara's nearness was intoxicating. She could feel the warmth radiating from her and the heat of her breath against her cheek. Turning her head, she brushed her lips lightly against Liara's, and felt a shudder ripple through her. "I have wanted to kiss you properly since I was sixteen years old, Liara T'Soni."

She felt Liara smile against her lips. "Well, you _did_ mention dessert."

"Yes…yes, I did." Jane's heart thudded against her chest as she continued to graze Liara's lips with her own. The soft sounds of pleasure Liara made were delicious. She had intended to be gentle, to move slowly, but when Liara's mouth opened eagerly under hers and the tip of her tongue darted between her lips, her intentions were forgotten. She captured Liara's tongue between her teeth, teasing the tip with her own before sucking it farther into her mouth. Liara moaned against her lips, and Jane breathed it in, trembling.

As their mouths moved together, she cupped the back of Liara's neck, allowing her hands to explore the folds of her nape. When her fingertips grazed the sensitive area under the tips of her crests, Liara surged forward, pressing her back, her lips suddenly urgent. When Liara's weight settled on top of her, a low moan tore from Jane's throat.

Liara abruptly pushed herself up, panting. "Goddess…did I hurt you?"

She lay flat on her back with Liara nestled between her thighs and looking down at her with a worried expression. "No." She said, breathing hard. "Quite the opposite."

"Good." Leaning down, she ran her tongue across Jane's lips making her gasp. "You…I feel things with you I do not understand… that I have never felt." When she flicked her tongue across Jane's lips again, Jane's hips rocked up and they both groaned. "Goddess…I"

Liara's words finally managed to sink into her pleasure addled brain and Jane became very still, though her breath still churned rapidly in and out. She placed her hands against Liara's shoulders and pushed her back far enough to look into her eyes. "Liara…are you saying you've never done this before?"

Liara's eyes held hers as she shook her head. "No…I have not."

Jane let her head fall back and closed her eyes. "Damn. Liara…"

Liara's lips were warm and soft against hers. "I want to feel this." Liara placed her hand in the center of Jane's chest. "I can feel your heart beating as fast as my own, and I can feel you tremble under me." Liara kissed her again, softly at first but then with greater urgency, her tongue playing against Jane's before she pulled back. "It is…very fascinating."

Jane was slowly coming undone, barely able to think or breathe for the delightful, intensely sexy female on top of her. The sexy _virginal _female she reminded herself, struggling to clear her head. "Liara, listen…"

Liara sat up and began tugging at the hem of her shirt, deft hands sliding up and under with shocking speed. Reaching down, Jane trapped her hands against her stomach before she could slide them any higher, every muscle in her body taut. Even trapped as they were, Liara's fingers splayed out to explore her abdomen.

"Please, Jane…Goddess, please let me touch you. I want…I need to understand, and I need to feel you."

Liara's words were steadily snipping away at the last remaining threads of her self control. "Liara, wait." She forced herself to take a deep breath. "We don't have to do this now. I didn't invite you here for this…not that it isn't amazing, because it is." She added quickly. "But we can wait until you're sure you're ready, and that it's not the champagne clouding your judgment…"

"I already feel as if I have waited a lifetime to touch you, Jane Shepard. Only you. I am not intoxicated…not from the champagne."

Shepard bit back a smile. "Okay, fair enough. But are you sure, because…"

Liara leaned low and kissed her, her eyes beseeching. "I am certain. Now please, release my hands." When Jane freed her, Liara's lips curved in a predatory smile of satisfaction. "Thank you. Now, please…be still."

_I am going to die. No, I am dead…or asleep..and this is the most hot dream ever. _

Now freed, Liara's hands continued to explore, dipping around her flanks before migrating upward. When her fingers traveled lightly over the front of her bra, Jane whimpered. Liara's eyes jumped to hers. "Show me…show me where."

Jane placed her hands over Liara's and guided them to her breasts, loving the look of wonder and discovery on her face.

"Your bra is…" Liara's brow furrowed in frustration and a bright halo of blue flared under Jane's shirt and tingled against her skin. Liara easily tore the what was left of the material aside. "… no longer a hindrance."

Jane's argument came out as a sigh as the lightly textured skin of Liara's hands slid over her breasts.

"Goddess, you are so soft"

She forced herself to lay still as Liara's palms began to move in slow circles over her nipples until the pleasure became nearly unbearable. "Liara…please.."

Liara stilled immediately. "I do not want to hurt you."

"No, you're not…I promise." She gasped. "Everywhere you touch me feels…amazing, but breasts are especially..um, sensitive."

Liara gently slid her palms down and captured Jane's nipples between her fingers, squeezing gently.

Jane hips surged up against her at the change in contact. "Christ…yes."

Liara's nimble fingers continued to torture her breasts until Jane was certain she was going to die…happily, she thought.

"Jane?" Liara's breath was unsteady, her voice low and warm. "Could move onto the bed and remove the rest of your clothing?"

Jane nodded. "But let's take everything off the traditional way, okay? No biotics?'

Liara colored as she stood and taking Jane's hand, easily pulled Jane to her feet. "I was perhaps a bit too impatient."

"Perhaps a bit." Jane smiled and kicked off her shoes. "You know, you're a lot stronger than you look."

Liara's hands were already tugging at Jane's shirt, pulling it up and over her head as the tattered remains of her bra fell to the floor. Her smile was delicious as she pushed her back onto the bed. "Yes, I know."

Liara quickly found the button on her pants and tugged it open. Reaching under Jane, she easily lifted her hips and stripped off her pants and underwear in one smooth motion before tossing them aside. Her eyes raced over Jane's body, drinking her in. "Goddess, you are more beautiful than I imagined."

She smiled up at Liara from the bed. "Think of me naked often, T'Soni?"

With a feral gleam in her eye, Liara crawled up to place a quick kiss on her lips. "It is possible I have, once or twice."

"Um, Liara…" Liara had started kissing the side of her neck. "Aren't you going to, um..take your clothes off, too?"

"Would you like me to?"

She moaned as Liara's teeth sank into her shoulder. "God yes."

Liara rose to her knees and reached for the clasps on her top, pushing Jane's hands away when she tried to help. Unfastening her shirt, she peeled it open to reveal an expanse of lightly pebbled blue skin and firm round breasts captured by a simple white bra. It was the sexiest thing Jane had ever seen, and she slid her hands under the small of her back to keep from reaching out to touch her. This was Liara's first time, and if it killed her, she would let her call all the shots. As Liara unhooked her bra and tossed it aside to land in a heap with the rest of their clothing, Jane felt certain it was going to kill her. Less than a minute later, Liara stepped casually out of her fitted pants and peeled off her underwear. Yep. Jane decided she was as good as dead.

Liara locked her eyes onto Jane's and crawled up the length of her, before slowly lowering her weight. They both gasped at the contact as Jane's arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer still, wanting as much contact between them as possible.

"Did you know your pupils are dilated?" Liara whispered against her ear. "It is an intriguing detail."

She arched her neck against Liara's exploring lips. "If pupil size correlates with arousal, I'm pretty sure there isn't a hint of green visible right about now."

She felt Liara smile against her neck. "Am I to understand then that you are enjoying this?"

_Understatement of the century._ "Liara…you have no idea."

Liara nestled against her side, and propped her head against her hand, leaving one hand free to explore. She lightly traced Jane's profile, and grazed her fingertips across her chest, returning to investigate her breasts. Jane groaned at the lightness of the touch, arching against Liara's hand.

"Goddess, I love the way your body moves when I touch you."

Her hand continued downward, tracing the muscled line of Jane's abs until she reached her belly button, circling her fingers around it before moving lower and curling her fingers in the short thatch of hair she found. "You have so many different textures; it is truly remarkable."

Jane was doing her best to remain still and coherent, but she couldn't stop her hips from rocking against Liara's hand. Her entire body was trembling uncontrollably, shaking with need when Liara leaned down and captured her nipple between her lips. "Liara... I can't wait to show you how incredible that feels." Her words ended on a moan as Liara's hand slid lower and cupped her.

Liara released her breast and brought her mouth to Jane's, kissing her hard, but briefly. Her breath fluttered across Jane's lips. "Jane…" Her voice held a note of uncertainty. "I have never…"As she spoke, Liara's trembling fingertips lightly danced across her. With a low moan, Liara's head dropped forward to rest against her chest. "Goddess, you are so soft and wet. Please, tell me what you like. If I recall, asari and human females are anatomically very similar. If that is the case, you should be especially sensitive…"

"Right there." Jane bit her lip to keep from crying out as Liara stroked her, fearing she was reaching the limit of her self restraint. Her entire body felt like it was on fire, every nerve ending tingling and aching. "Christ..Liara, please don't stop."

"Jane..I need you to…"

"I know, love…please…let me show you. Meld with me."

Liara's hand stilled and Jane whimpered in frustration. "Are you sure? Humans do not need the meld to experience pleasure."

Jane brought a shaking hand up to gently cup Liara's cheek. "Yes, Liara..I'm sure. This is me…you…us. I have waited for this, too. I want to share every part of this with you. I trust you. Just…do what you feel comfortable with."

Liara leaned down and kissed her deeply before pulling back. "Embrace eternity."

Liara exploded inside her, warm and welcoming, brilliantly alive, and instantly on fire when she felt Jane's need blazing through her.

_Goddess! Jane…why didn't you tell me.._

_I wanted to be patient…to wait for you…but I need…_

_Yes…I can feel…Goddess, I can feel you… _Liara's fingers began to move in earnest, guided unerringly by the signals Jane's body was sending out.

_Yes! There!_

_Like that…_

_More…don't stop…_

_I will not…I do not think I could…the things you feel…Goddess, the things _I_ feel…_

_So close…_

_Not yet…wait.._

_I don't think I can…_

_Please…hold on..I can make it more…yes..like that..Goddess yes, just like that..if I.. _Liara's fingers sank inside her, fast and hard, while her thumb continued to move in quick circles over her sensitive flesh.

_Liara…please.._ Shepard's hips bucked wildly, driving Liara's fingers deeper still.

_Almost love..just let me._. Guided by Jane's responses, Liara curled her fingers upward, dragging them against the exquisitely tender spot inside her.

_Liara…_

_Now, love…now.._

_Yes…_

They cried out together, Liara swamped by Shepard's pleasure as if it was her own. She could feel Jane's inner muscles clamping around her fingers, every tiny motion scouring them both with pleasure. She remained inside her until the last slow aftershocks faded before finally ending the meld.

Liara lay on top of her with her head resting against her stomach. They both remained still, simply enjoying the feeling of the other so wonderfully close. Eventually, Liara lifted her head to look up at her. "Jane that was amazing."

Jane smiled. "_You _are amazing."

"I did not know human females had so many erogenous areas. Because of the manner in which humans reproduce, most seem logical, but the percentage of your physiology designed for receiving pleasure is disproportionately large, and the nature and degree of the sensations is…"

Jane couldn't stop the wide smile that split her face. "You're so sexy when you get all scientific."

Liara colored and hid her face against Jane's stomach. "I do not mean speak as if you were an experiment."

Jane reached down and cupped Liara's chin, pulling her eyes back up. "It's okay, really. I think it's kind of adorable and this is all really new to you." She paused. "Asari aren't so different."

"Asari sexuality is inherently tied to our ability to meld..for establishing a link between our own nervous systems and those of other species, no physical contact is required at all, though after that, I cannot imagine anyone _not _wanting to touch their partner."

Jane smiled and struggled to sort out what Liara was describing. "But asari still feel pleasure without the meld."

"Yes, but I…I do not think we are as physically sensitive as humans…at least I…"

Jane propped herself up on her elbow. "As it turns out, there are other things all my human physiology is good for... do you trust me, Liara?"

Liara placed her hand over Jane's and pressed Jane' palm to her cheek. "Always."

Jane reached down and slid her arms under Liara's, pulling her up and then flipping her over until the asari lay under her, eyes wide. Jane rested her weight on her elbows and knees and leaned down, softly brushing their lips together. "You make me feel like I'm sixteen again."

"And you really wanted to kiss me then?"

"Oh hell yes." She laughed. "You were…are…the most beautiful, fascinating thing I've ever seen. I wanted to do more than kiss you, but despite being raised in the Alliance, I was a pretty naive kid. I didn't know what 'more' was then…only that being near you made my heart beat so fast it felt like it would fly out of my chest."

"I felt the same…Goddess, when I combed your hair I thought you would be able to hear it." She reached up and wound her fingers into Jane's hair and pulled her down to kiss her. "I cannot decide which I prefer more, your hair or your lips…they are both so soft."

Jane brushed her lips against Liara's, softly at first, but with increasing pressure as Liara's fingers tightened in her hair. Grasping Liara's lower lip between her teeth, she traced and teased it with the tip of her tongue before releasing it to trail kisses down her neck. Liara pressed against her, soft sighs escaping her lips. When she tried to pull Jane down on top of her, she resisted.

"Uh uh." She breathed against Liara's shoulder. "My turn."

She smiled at Liara's frustrated groan and hissed when the asari's fingertips trailed twin paths down her back and the curve of her bottom. Refusing to give into the temptation of allowing her weight to fall forward, she continued to work her way down Liara's chest with her mouth before finally capturing a small perfect nipple between her lips.

"Goddess!" Liara's hips jerked upward under her as she teased the tip of the taut bud with her tongue before finally pulling it fully into her mouth. Liara's breathing hitched sharply when Jane's hand slid down to capture her other breast.

Liara's hands were roving over her non-stop, setting pleasant but distracting fires along her skin. If Liara kept that up, she would lose it altogether. Rising abruptly to her knees, she slid a hand under the small of Liara's back and in one smooth motion flipped her over onto her stomach.

"Jane…I cannot touch you this way."

Jane laughed softly. "That's kind of the point, love." She slowly lowered her weight onto Liara's back. They both groaned at the sensation. Jane kissed the back of her neck, brushing her fingers along her shoulders and down her arm. Liara's body was amazing. She appeared almost scaled, but there was nothing rough about her skin as it slid under hers. She was deliciously soft everywhere.

While her mouth moved lower to trail kisses along the curve of Liara's spine her hand moved upward along the sensitive folds of Liara's neck. When her fingertips danced across the sensitive area hidden under Liara's crest, the asari whimpered, a low keening sound that drove her wild.

"Jane…"

"Yes, love?"

"I…Goddess don't stop doing that."

"See? Asari have all these other interesting and fun places to touch that humans don't have."

She slid up, allowing her lips to follow her hand until she reached Liara's neck. Lifting her head slightly she allowed the warmth of her breath the drift across Liara's crests before slowly wrapping her lips around the tip of one and teasing it with her tongue.

"Jane…please…"

Ignoring Liara's pleas she moved her mouth from the tip of one crest to the next, teasing each in turn until Liara writhed under her. She could feel Liara repeatedly nudging against her mind, and quickly retreating, instinctively searching for the contact she needed, but would not take without Jane's permission. A haze of blue light surrounded them, tingling against her skin as Liara's biotics suddenly flared.

Worried, Jane slid her hand under Liara's stomach and flipped her back onto her back. "Okay, that's new. Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?"

"I..I am fine, better than fine…you are not doing anything wrong, Jane; you are doing everything very right."

Jane let her fingers dance through the blue nimbus of light hovering over Liara's skin. As Liara looked up at her, she could see the lights from the ceiling reflected in her eyes like a thousand stars hovering in a field of blue. "You are so beautiful." She whispered.

When Liara reached for her, she let herself be pulled down.

"Oh..Goddess.." Liara pulled Jane's mouth to hers, her lips feverish, her hips jerking against her thigh. "Jane.."

"Patience, love." She pulled her mouth away from Liara's and began kissing a slow trail down her neck and across her chest. She paused at each breast, lingering long enough to kiss each thoroughly until Liara writhed against her before sliding her lips down the flat plane of Liara's stomach.

As she moved lower, tracing the curve of Liara's hip with her tongue, Liara stilled. "Jane?"

Jane slid down until her lips rested at the dark blue junction of Liara' thighs. "Yes?"

"What are you…"

Her own breathing was harsh in her ears, and Liara's stomach rose and fell rapidly as Jane lightly traced the outline of Liara's folds with the tip of her tongue.

"Goddess…" Liara moaned, clutching the bed sheet in white knuckled fists as Jane slowly repeated the motion.

The heat and scent radiating from her made Jane's head swim as she slid lower still. "Do you trust me, Liara?"

Liara lifted her head from the pillow and looked down at her. "Yes…yes, always."

Keeping her eyes on Liara's, Jane slid forward until Liara's thighs rested on her shoulders. She lowered her mouth letting the warmth of her breath play against Liara's warm wet skin. "Then relax, love."

Jane lowered her mouth, groaning as her lips settled over Liara center. Above her, Liara's head fell back and she moaned softly, her moans turning to continuous pleading whimpers as Jane's tongue began to move in slow, circles, teasing, approaching, never quite touching the single spot Liara's hips instinctively attempted to drive her toward.

"Jane..I need to..I need.."

Trembling with the effort to go slowly, Jane flicked her tongue lightly across the tip of Liara's swollen cluster of nerves. Liara cried out, and her consciousness buffeted against her, like a butterfly dancing along the edge of her awareness.

Liara pushed toward her mouth. "Goddess...please…I need to.."

Jane lifted her mouth. "Join with me, love."

Liara entered her mind without preamble and Jane gladly pulled her in, lowering her mouth and bracing herself for the sensations that soon followed.

_Goddess..Who knew?…That feels…_

They both groaned as Jane finally let her tongue slide fully over Liara's exquisitely sensitive flesh, moving in a slow steady rhythm that left them both gasping.

_Yes…oh yes…there…please don't stop…_

_I won't. I need more of you…give me more…_She wanted to pull Liara in and revel in her. She wanted to be consumed by her. They were connected in an indefinable way she had never fully understood and she reached forward, finding that connection and following it inward.

_Are you sure? _

_I am sure…more…please…_

Liara drove the meld deeper while Jane's tongue and fingers moved in ceaseless smooth strokes. Jane was lost in every sound Liara made, every sigh and whimper igniting sparks inside her until she was certain she was going to burst into flames.

_Jane…I cannot stand it…it feels too good..too.._

_Damn..I know…it's okay, love, I'm with you…more…all.._

_Goddess…yes!_

The joining was like nothing she could have imagined, far deeper and more intimate than a meld. She could feel every aspect of Liara, every nuance, all around and within her, even as she was all around and within Liara. They were no longer two. Separate. Distinct. They were one. All their fragmented pieces knit together and became whole. Somewhere, she was aware of a voice crying out but she could only feel Liara, every inch of her skin aflame. She was saturated in her sweet scent, her taste. Nothing else existed except Liara's growing urgency and need as she desperately reached out, stretched forward, seeking…

_Jane…yes, there…now…now!_

_I love you, Liara T'Soni…_

Pleasure so hot and sharp it was almost pain ripped through them as Liara exploded under her tongue and contracted hard around her fingers. The power of the shared sensations left them gasping and quivering as the aftershocks slowly faded along with the meld.

Jane had collapsed against Liara's thigh and Liara's fingers were wrapped tightly in her hair. She peered up at Liara, who lay splayed across the bed, her chest rising and falling as she regained her breath.

Liara's fingers toyed with her hair as she lifted her head to look down at her. "Your hair is magnificent, but recent findings suggest your lips are superior." She let her head fall back. "Goddess yes."

Jane chuckled and placed a soft kiss against the inside of Liara's thigh before sliding up up next to her and wrapping her in her arms.

Liara twisted sideways, her expression unreadable as she traced Jane's lips with her fingers before leaning in to softly kiss her. "You love me."

Jane smiled softly. "From the first moment."

Jane's world dipped sideways and she suddenly found herself flipped onto her back with Liara sitting on top of her. "Jesus you're fast…and strong…and unbelievably sexy."

Liara laughed. "I spent several years training alongside commandos, Jane."

"You trained with commandos? Really?" Jane brow furrowed in confusion. "Then why didn't you know how to shoot?"

Liara's eyes lit with mischief. "I may have known something about it, but your instruction was most informative…and enjoyable."

"No way." She scoffed. "No one fakes that well."

"I disagree. For instance, when you and Garrus were engaged in the sniping contest, you pulled your last shot."

Jane's brow rose. "Hmm. Intelligent, highly trained, dead sexy, _and _observant." She smiled. "I'd better be careful. Hey, do me a favor and don't mention that last shot to Garrus."

"I will not."

She sighed with pleasure as Liara stretched out on top of her and wound her fingers through her hair before captured her mouth in a slow kiss.

"Say it again." Liara whispered against her lips.

"I love you, Liara, from the first moment, for every moment."

"Goddess…I love you, too."


End file.
